Memoirs of the Returnee
Memoirs of the Returnee - Chapter 277: What are Emotions(3)

In Yu Hains’s clinic, Johanna received a packet of medicine.

“……”

[Prescription Medicine]

She glared at the words as if they were absurd.

Thwack!

With a flick of her wrist, she threw the packet against Yu Hains’s chest.

“Are you mocking me now? After all that bullshit about love and whatnot.”

“No, I am not.”

Yu Hains handed back the medicine and said,

“lt’s a psychotropic stabilizer. It’s a medicine combined with magic. Take one when you feel constricted. It will calm your mind.”

“……”

Johanna turned her furrowed brow towards the monitor. Her brain, still vividly displayed on the screen, seemed foreign to her.

“lt doesn’t look like my brain.”

“That’s correct.”

“……You mean to say the doctor’s interpretation was wrong.”

Johanna snorted and crossed her arms.

“This is possessiveness. It’s not love or anything of the sort.”

The glittering currents flooding her brain. This was the change that occurred when she wanted to possess something.

When she saw the World Series of Poker trophy, when she looked at a department store filled with luxury goods, when she saw the piles of chips in a casino, Johanna felt a similar emotion.

“The feeling of wanting to possess something is entirely different from affection.”

Yu Hains asked the nodding Johanna with satisfaction,

“Have you ever felt frustrated because you couldn’t possess something?”

“Often. It wasn’t just frustration. I was angry. Extremely angry. But in the end, I managed to possess it all.”

Not just the trophies, department stores, or casinos, but also the Golden Casino and countless other ‘desired things,’ Johanna had successfully grasped them all.

Therefore, Shion Ascal would be no different.

“You’re wrong. I am Johanna of Libra. You can’t peer into me with just brain waves.”

“Yes. That might be the case.”

Yu Hains didn’t bother to argue. Johanna let out a satisfied sneer.

“However, I believe there is a clear difference between affection and possessiveness. It’s the ‘resonance’.”

“……Resonance?”

“Yes. Affection spreads around the object. It expands without you even realizing it.”

Yu Hains continued as he checked something on the chart.

“ln other words, it’s not just about the object itself, but also the time spent with it, the spaces walked together, from the very mundane everyday to the events that are too memorable, all remain as memories and become precious.”

Love spreads like resonance. It’s not limited to the 'individual'; every moment shared with emotions resonates with the same love. Like ripples spreading from a droplet on a tranquil lakeside…

That’s resonance.

“Possessiveness is not like that.”

Johanna looked at Yu Hains silently.

“lf you’ve possessed an item, that’s the end of it since you now own it. The act of possession itself never remains as a meaningful memory in the brain.”

“……”

Suddenly, Shion Ascal came to mind.

He wasn’t fragmentary. No recollection stopped at just his face. It continued further, deeper and deeply.

As her player in the World Series of Poker, winning, risking his life in the heart of enemy territory to save her, anticipating Beckman’s rampage and eliminating him…

At some point, he was embedded in all of her ’significant memories.’

“……Nonsense.”

Johanna flung the [Prescription Medicine] against the wall.

Thwack! The medicine packet stuck to the pristine white wall.

“Are you a doctor or a shaman? Stick to one.”

Muttering, she stormed out.

“……Hmm.”

Yu Hains, raising an eyebrow, was about to make a note on the chart when, suddenly

Johanna returned, retrieving the medicine with [Telekinesis] .

Bang!

And then she was gone again.

“……”

Yu Hains blinked blankly.

Johanna was certainly a human in need of treatment.

She needed to be admitted.

“How did it come to this…”

Yu Hains pitied Shion Ascal. While it’s said that the human heart has a mind of its own, it seemed he might have taken a liking to the most difficult person on the continent.

[Vern’s new venture ’New Frontier’ massive short-selling plan]

Meanwhile, Gedley was analyzing the report submitted by Bell Moore.

“……”

He scanned the contents with a serious, heavy gaze.

Vern’s 'New Frontier’ is a pioneering company. The Arctic, the Antarctic, Magic Space, and even the lands of monsters that remain unexplored.

Yet, it lacks proper achievements. Despite this, its market capitalization is incredibly high. It’s rising day by day.

Moreover, this New Frontier is not outwardly associated with Vern.

[……The entire company is presumed to be a pile of Vern’s slush funds.]

Gedley focused on the conclusion of the report.

Indeed, New Frontier has many unclear sources of funding.

The bigger issue is the uncertain assets.

[Reporting unverified assets as pioneering achievements, using them as collateral for loans, and then using the loans to buy back its own stock…]

It means they are manipulating stock prices through circular trading.

The real owner of New Frontier is the Mechron Company. The real owner of the Ketron Company is… Tracing it back, Vern comes into the picture.

So, what if they dump it when the price has been driven up?

The entire company turns into a massive slush fund for Vern. The massive debts accumulated by the company would disappear with corporate liquidation.

“lt’s certain.”

To Gedley, who once worked in the economic department of the station, it was crystal clear.

“……Bell Moore, quite intelligent.”

Bell Moore himself called it 'his own strategy.’

He’s not the type to steal items from his subordinates, so it’s likely true. It also means he’s quite confident in it.

But—

“lt’s too good a strategy for him.”

Gedley snickered as he dialed someone’s number.

—Yes, Director.

“Elaine. Come up.”

Chaser, who was a candidate for team leader but was overshadowed by Bell Moore.

Elaine quickly made her way to the director’s office.

“Yes, how can I help?”

“Take this.”

Gedley handed her the report.

“This is…….”

“You minored in economics, didn’t you?”

“Yes, that’s correct, but isn’t this Bell Moore’s report?”

“Not anymore.”

Gedley smiled. However, Elaine looked somewhat fearful.

“But”

“I haven’t reported to Lord Derek yet. Also, there were no external team leaders present at that meeting.”

The only ones who could be said to be in Bell Moore’s faction are Shion Ascal and that esteemed external team leader, David.

“There were only our people in the meeting room. That means no one will believe him even if he shouts that it’s his strategy.”

Elaine soon understood Gedley’s words. She quietly smiled and bowed her head.

“……Yes, I will follow your instructions, Di recto r.”

……

At the same time, in the Cyber Response Room of the Intelligence Agency.

I'm observing someone there. A Chaser, and a candidate for Bell Moore’s team, is sitting in front of a computer with multiple monitors, busily tapping away at the keyboard.

His name is Luin, 24 years old, male, with a face that somehow resembles a Pomeranian.

Lately, it’s felt like Grawl alone isn’t enough for the information side of things, and we’ve been eyeing to recruit someone to manage the hotline.

Luin will later be the reason why the Libra Intelligence Agency boasts such formidable server defense capabilities.

“Hem hem.”

I cleared my throat and approached Luin.

“Good day.”

“……Eh?”

Luin blinked and looked up at me. He had a rather cute face for a man.

“Who are you?”

Luin, being from a so-called provincial university, has a very weak position as a Chaser. Despite his exceptional abilities, he's stuck doing menial tasks in the Intelligence Agency’s cyber room.

In fact, his main job is to find and delete negative comments about Derek.

“l’m Chaser Shion.”

“……Ah~ that person?”

Luin seemed to recognize me.

“Yes. What brings you here? Hacking SNS? Deleting malicious comments? Or did you forget your password? If your computer won’t turn on, have you checked if the cord is plugged in?”

Indeed, he already seems steeped in the ways of the world.

No, but what’s with the 'check if the cord is plugged in’?

“……lt's not about that.”

I handed Luin a small business card. On the back, I had written a certain sentence.

“Read this. It’s a self-combusting business card that will ignite in 30 minutes.”

“What? Uh……”

Luin accepted the business card and flipped it over. As soon as he saw the content, his eyes widened in shock.

“……What?!”

“Shh.”

I placed a finger to my lips. Luin also covered his mouth with both hands.

“Don't show any reaction and listen.”

I spoke in a low voice.

“lf you’re interested, come to the abandoned factory written on the card at 10 p.m. If not, keep silent about this until the day you die.”

“……”

Luin nodded his head vigorously without saying a word.

The next day. In the director’s meeting room presided over by Gedley.

During the meeting, which Derek also attended via video, Gedley presented the [New Frontier Short Sale] report to Derek.

……Ha. Vern has been up to this kind of thing.

Derek, who was quite knowledgeable in economics, was immediately impressed, and Gedley smiled as he spoke.

—It's a strategy sharp enough to be a dagger. Who do you plan to assign to it?

“Chaser Elaine will lead the ope rati on.”

“……Excuse me?”

Bell Moore let out a bewildered sound. All the executives, including Gedley, turned to look at him.

“No…… I thought you were assigning it to the station.”

In response to Bell Moore’s words, Gedley calmly replied.

“Team Leader Bell Moore. I don’t understand what you’re saying. Please focus on the meeting.”

“……Excuse me?”

—It's a good strategy. Well done.

As Bell Moore felt a lukewarm sensation at the back of his head, Derek satisfyingly tapped the report.

—This is what I’ve been wanting. A strategy that can weaken Vern’s position in the corporate world… Is the idea itself Elaine’s?

“……lt's not just me.”

At that moment, Elaine, who had been seated in the corner of the meeting room, humbly smiled.

“Director Gedley gave me the idea, and I merely embodied it.”

“What kind of bullshit… haha.”

Bell Moore laughed involuntarily.

When you’re so blatantly backstabbed like this, laughter is really the only response.

—The budget will be allocated as you wish…

Derek’s words continued, but Bell Moore had no idea how the meeting was proceeding.

He was just dazed.

His eyes felt hot, and rage was boiling up inside him.

—Let’s end the meeting here. No need for other matters. Focus solely on this.

And with that, the meeting came to an end.

Derek turned off the screen with a more animated tone than he had used in a long time, and everyone rose from their seats.

Bell Moore immediately grabbed Gedley.

“Director, may I have a word with you?”

“…A word? Didn’t you hear Derek? From now on, actually from this moment, we’ll be busy.”

“…”

Bell Moore blinked as he looked at Gedley, who furrowed his brow.

“You seem to have a comp lai nt.”

As if there’s any chance I wouldn’t, you asshole.

He wanted to spit out those words, but instead, he swallowed them down deep.

“Uh… no, not at all.”

If this is just the pecking order, I can accept it to some extent. It’s irritating, sure, but it’s the path to contentment.

Even as he said this, he thought that once it was all over, they’d probably throw him a few crumbs.

“Then, that’s all. You should get to work as well.”

Gedley promptly left the meeting room, and the five team leaders followed, each sneering at Bell Moore as they passed by.

“…Sigh.”

Bell Moore scratched the back of his neck and let out a sigh.

He took out his phone and dialed someone.

-Hello?

It was Shion Ascal.

“Hey. That thing, your item. It got swiped.”

…

He didn’t say anything, but Bell Moore felt inexplicably ashamed.

“Sorry, man. Ah~ shit. I got too greedy.”

—It’s okay. Just have a drink by yourself.

“…Don’t people usually say let's have a drink together?”

—I don’t do 'together.'

“Fine, asshole. I don’t want to drink with you either. I’m off to the club to blow off some steam. Hanging up.”

—Yes.

After ending the call, Bell Moore immediately sent a text to the club asking if the ‘water’ was good tonight.

Not long after, he received a reply saying ‘there will be lots of celebrity-level tonight.’

“…Phew- phewphewphew”

Bell Moore whistled cheerfully and left the meeting room.

Libra Medical Center, one week into hospitalization.

Just as rumors began to circulate among the paparazzi that ‘Johanna has fallen seriously ill,’

“……”

Johanna sat once again in Dr. Yu Hains’s office.

Dr. Hains asked her,

“How is the medication working?”

“……lt helps a bit when I feel suffocated.”

It was true. Especially when her chest fluttered or felt tight.

“That’s good to hear.”

Dr. Hains checked something off on the chart.

Johanna glared at it and clicked her tongue.

“Professor Yu Hains. I’ve thought about what you said regarding the difference between possession and love. It seems plausible.”

“Is that so?”

“lt doesn’t mean I agree.”

Johanna spread her palms, as if to say she didn’t include herself in his logic.

“I am different from everyone you know. I’m just saying that the difference between possession and love you talked about makes sense.”

“Hmm.”

“However, you got the subject wrong.”

“……The subject?”

Dr. Hains met her gaze and asked.

“Yes. It’s not that I have affection for Shion Ascal.”

Johanna pointed to her own chest with her finger.

“lt’s that Shion Ascal has affection for me.”

“……IS that so.”

“Yes. If you knew what that guy has done for me… Wait.”

Johanna’s words halted. Once a poker player who dominated the gambling scene, she was adept at reading someone’s ‘expression.’

And now,

The expression on Dr. Yu Hains’s face was peculiar.

“……Doctor.”

It wasn’t a look of disbelief. Nor was it one of astonishment. It wasn’t a face of complete trust either.

“You already know, don’t you?”

He already knew.

That Shion Ascal liked her.

“What did Shion Ascal say about me?”

Johanna asked with a voice that mixed her characteristic intimidation and menace, as natural as breathing.

“……”

Dr. Hains remained silent.

He just felt a slightly sorrowful sense of deja vu.

The love of someone with a terminal condition, and the love of someone who is loved by the terminally ill.

How painful that mismatch can be…

He knew because he had experienced it.