The Works of Lord Byron: Letters and Journals
Chapter 127 : "Epistolam, quam attulerat Phileros tabellarius."(Cic., 'Fam'.,9,

"Epistolam, quam attulerat Phileros tabellarius."

(Cic., 'Fam'.,9, 15).]

315.--To Thomas Moore.

July 27, 1813.

When you next imitate the style of "Tacitus," pray add, _de moribus Germannorum_;--this last was a piece of barbarous silence, and could only be taken from the _Woods_, and, as such, I attribute it entirely to your sylvan sequestration at Mayfield Cottage. You will find, on casting up accounts, that you are my debtor by several sheets and one epistle. I shall bring my action;--if you don't discharge, expect to hear from my attorney. I have forwarded your letter to Ruggiero [1]; but don't make a postman of me again, for fear I should be tempted to violate your sanct.i.ty of wax or wafer.

Believe me, ever yours _ indignantly_, BN.

[Footnote 1: _i. e._ Samuel Rogers.]

316.--To Thomas Moore.

July 28, 1813.

Can't you be satisfied with the pangs of my jealousy of Rogers, without actually making me the pander of your epistolary intrigue? This is the second letter you have enclosed to my address, notwithstanding a miraculous long answer, and a subsequent short one or two of your own.

If you do so again, I can't tell to what pitch my fury may soar. I shall send you verse or a.r.s.enic, as likely as any thing,--four thousand couplets on sheets beyond the privilege of franking; that privilege, sir, of which you take an undue advantage over a too susceptible senator, by forwarding your lucubrations to every one but himself. I won't frank _from_ you, or _for_ you, or _to_ you--may I be curst if I do, unless you mend your manners. I disown you--I disclaim you--and by all the powers of Eulogy, I will write a panegyric upon you--or dedicate a quarto--if you don't make me ample amends.

P.S.--I am in training to dine with Sheridan [1] and Rogers this evening. I have a little spite against R., and will shed his "Clary wines pottle-deep." [2] This is nearly my ultimate or penultimate letter; for I am quite equipped, and only wait a pa.s.sage. Perhaps I may wait a few weeks for Sligo, but not if I can help it.

[Footnote 1: In his 'Detached Thoughts' Byron has noted the following impressions of Sheridan:

"In society I have met Sheridan frequently: he was superb! He had a sort of liking for me, and never attacked me, at least to my face, as he did every body else--high names, and wits, and orators, some of them poets also. I have seen him cut up Whitbread, quiz Madame de Stael, annihilate Colman, and do little less by some others (whose names, as friends, I set not down) of good fame and ability. Poor fellow! he got drunk very thoroughly and very soon. It occasionally fell to my lot to pilot him home--no sinecure, for he was so tipsy that I was obliged to put on his c.o.c.ked hat for him. To be sure, it tumbled off again, and I was not myself so sober as to be able to pick it up again.

"The last time I met him was, I think, at Sir Gilbert Elliot's, where he was as quick as ever--no, it was not the last time; the last time was at Douglas Kinnaird's. I have met him in all places and parties--at Whitehall with the Melbournes, at the Marquis of Tavistock's, at Robins's the auctioneer's, at Sir Humphry Davy's, at Sam Rogers's,--in short, in most kinds of company, and always found him very convivial and delightful.

"I have seen Sheridan weep two or three times. It may be that he was maudlin; but this only renders it more impressive, for who would see

'From Marlborough's eyes the tears of dotage flow, And Swift expire a driveller and a show'?

"Once I saw him cry at Robins's the auctioneer's, after a splendid dinner, full of great names and high spirits. I had the honour of sitting next to Sheridan. The occasion of his tears was some observation or other upon the subject of the st.u.r.diness of the Whigs in resisting office and keeping to their principles: Sheridan turned round: 'Sir, it is easy for my Lord G. or Earl G. or Marquis B. or Lord H. with thousands upon thousands a year, some of it either 'presently' derived, or 'inherited' in sinecure or acquisitions from the public money, to boast of their patriotism and keep aloof from temptation; but they do not know from what temptation those have kept aloof who had equal pride, at least equal talents, and not unequal pa.s.sions, and nevertheless knew not in the course of their lives what it was to have a s.h.i.+lling of their own.' And in saying this he wept.

"There was something odd about Sheridan. One day, at dinner, he was slightly praising that pert pretender and impostor, Lyttelton (the Parliamentary puppy, still alive, I believe). I took the liberty of differing from him; he turned round upon me, and said, 'Is that your real opinion?' I confirmed it. Then said he, 'Fortified by this concurrence, I beg leave to say that it, in fact, is 'my' opinion also, and that he is a person whom I do absolutely and utterly despise, abhor, and detest.' He then launched out into a description of his despicable qualities, at some length, and with his usual wit, and evidently in earnest (for he hated Lyttelton). His former compliment had been drawn out by some preceding one, just as its reverse was by my hinting that it was unmerited.

"I have more than once heard him say, 'that he never had a s.h.i.+lling of his own.' To be sure, he contrived to extract a good many of other people's.

"In 1815 I had occasion to visit my lawyer in Chancery Lane; he was with Sheridan. After mutual greetings, etc., Sheridan retired first.

Before recurring to my own business, I could not help inquiring 'that'

of Sheridan. 'Oh,' replied the attorney, 'the usual thing! to stave off an action from his wine-merchant, my client.'--'Well,' said I, 'and what do you mean to do?'--'Nothing at all for the present,' said he: 'would you have us proceed against old Sherry? what would be the use of it?' and here he began laughing, and going over Sheridan's good gifts of conversation.

"Now, from personal experience, I can vouch that my attorney is by no means the tenderest of men, or particularly accessible to any kind of impression out of the statute or record; and yet Sheridan, in half an hour, had found the way to soften and seduce him in such a manner, that I almost think he would have thrown his client (an honest man, with all the laws, and some justice, on his side) out of the window, had he come in at the moment.

"Such was Sheridan! he could soften an attorney! There has been nothing like it since the days of Orpheus.

"One day I saw him take up his own ''Monody on Garrick'.' He lighted upon the Dedication to the Dowager Lady Spencer. On seeing it, he flew into a rage, and exclaimed 'that it must be a forgery, that he had never dedicated any thing of his to such a d.a.m.ned canting b.i.t.c.h,'

etc., etc.--and so went on for half an hour abusing his own dedication, or at least the object of it. If all writers were equally sincere, it would be ludicrous.

"He told me that, on the night of the grand success of his 'School for Scandal' he was knocked down and put into the watch-house for making a row in the street, and being found intoxicated by the watchmen.

Latterly, when found drunk one night in the kennel, and asked his name by the watchmen, he answered, 'Wilberforce.'

"When dying he was requested to undergo 'an operation.' He replied that he had already submitted to two, which were enough for one man's lifetime. Being asked what they were, he answered, 'having his hair cut, and sitting for his picture."

"I have met George Colman occasionally, and thought him extremely pleasant and convivial. Sheridan's humour, or rather wit, was always saturnine, and sometimes savage; he never laughed (at least that 'I'

saw, and I watched him), but Colman did. If I had to 'choose' and could not have both at a time I should say, 'Let me begin the evening with Sheridan, and finish it with Colman.' Sheridan for dinner, Colman for supper; Sheridan for claret or port but Colman for every thing, from the madeira and champagne at dinner the claret with a 'layer' of 'port' between the gla.s.ses up to the punch of the night, and down to the grog, or gin and water, of daybreak;--all these I have threaded with both the same. Sheridan was a grenadier company of life guards, but Colman a whole regiment--of 'light infantry', to be sure, but still a regiment."]

[Footnote 2:

"Potations pottle deep"

'Oth.e.l.lo', act ii. sc. 3, line 54.]