The Works of Lord Byron: Letters and Journals
Chapter 128 : 317.--To John Murray.July 31, 1813.Dear Sir--As I leave town early tomorrow, the proof

317.--To John Murray.

July 31, 1813.

Dear Sir--As I leave town early tomorrow, the proof must be sent to-night, or many days will be lost. If you have any _reviews_ of the 'Giaour' to send, let me have them now. I am not very well to day. I thank you for the 'Satirist', which is short but savage on this unlucky affair, and _personally_ facetious on me which is much more to the purpose than a tirade upon other peoples' concerns [1].

Ever yours, B.

[Footnote 1: In the 'Satirist' (vol. xiii. pp. 150, 151) is an article headed "Scandalum Magnatum," with the motto from 'Rejected Addresses':

With horn-handled knife, To kill a tender lamb as dead as mutton."

"A short time back (say the newspapers, and newspapers never say 'the thing which is not') Lady H. gave a ball and supper. Among the company were Lord B--n, Lady W--, and Lady C. L--b. Lord B., it would appear, is a favourite with the latter Lady; on this occasion, however, he seemed to lavish his attention on another fair object. This preference so enraged Lady C. L. that in a paroxysm of jealousy she took up a dessert-knife and stabbed herself. The gay circle was, of course, immediately plunged in confusion and dismay, which however, was soon succeeded by levity and scandal. The general cry for medical a.s.sistance was from Lady W--d: Lady W--d!!! And why? Because it was said that, early after her marriage, Lady W--also took a similar liberty with her person for a similar cause, and was therefore considered to have learned from experience the most efficacious remedy for the complaint. It was also whispered that the Lady's husband had most to grieve, that the attempt had not fully succeeded. Lady C. L.

is still living.

"The poet has told us how 'Ladies wish to be who love their Lords;'

but this is the first public demonstration in our times to show us how Ladies wish to be who love, not their own, but others' Lords. 'Better be with the dead than thus,' cried the jealous fair; and, casting a languis.h.i.+ng look at Lord B--, who, Heaven knows, is more like Pan than Apollo, she whipt up as pretty a little dessert-knife as a Lady could desire to commit suicide with,

'And stuck it in her wizzard.'

"The desperate Lady was carried out of the room, and the affair endeavoured to be hushed up, etc., etc." ]

318.--To John Wilson Croker [1].

Bt. Str., August 2, 1813.

Dear Sir,--I was honoured with your unexpected and very obliging letter, when on the point of leaving London, which prevented me from acknowledging my obligation as quickly as I felt it sincerely. I am endeavouring all in my power to be ready before Sat.u.r.day--and even if I should not succeed, I can only blame my own tardiness, which will not the less enhance the benefit I have lost. I have only to add my hope of forgiveness for all my trespa.s.ses on your time and patience, and with my best wishes for your public and private welfare, I have the honour to be, most truly, Your obliged and most obedient servant, BYRON.

[Footnote 1: J. W. Croker (1780-1857),--the "Wenham" of Thackeray, the "Rigby" of Disraeli, and the "Con Crawley" of Lady Morgan's 'Florence Macarthy', had been made Secretary to the Admiralty in 1809. At his request Captain Carlton of the 'Boyne', "just then ordered to re-enforce Sir Edward Pellew" in the Mediterranean, had consented to receive Byron into his cabin for the voyage,]

319.--To John Murray.

If you send more proofs, I shall never finish this infernal story--"_Ecce signum_"--thirty-three more lines enclosed! to the utter discomfiture of the printer, and, I fear, not to your advantage.

B.

320.--To John Murray.

Half-past two in the morning, Aug. 10, 1813.

Dear Sir,--Pray suspend the _proofs_, for I am _bitten_ again, and have _quant.i.ties_ for other parts of the bravura. Yours ever, B.

P. S.--You shall have them in the course of the day.

321.--To James Wedderburn Webster.

August 12, 1813.