Memoirs of the Returnee
Memoirs of the Returnee - Chapter 275: What are Emotions(1)

At the national university library, I was finishing up an assignment with soliette.

“Why do I need to know the history of swordsmanship?”

She grumbled as if she was about to chew up the paper, her face a picture of frustration from having her time stolen.

“…Just do it. Don’t you want to graduate?”

“The sword is not something you memorize. It is felt with the body.”

“Write that on your answer sheet then. Let me see your notes.”

“…I wrote them properly.”

I checked soliette’s notes.

“Hmm… Not bad. You pass.”

Her notes were passable, and her handwriting was unmistakably aristocratic, even if she had written them carelessly.

“You know the end-of-semester exams are coming up, right?”

The Knight’s Academy is quite a flexible department. You could graduate in a year if possible, or you could take the full four years.

In the end, it’s the ’knight’s license’ that matters.

“I know.”

“Then let’s call it a day.”

“Hehe.”

Soliette let out a strange laugh. She was probably planning to dash straight to Bethune.

“Will you join Shion?”

“No, I have some things to take care of…”

As I said this and stood up, suddenly, I caught sight of someone’s figure.

“Shion?”

“Just a moment.”

I was drawn to it as if under a spell and strode towards it. I hurried through the aisles, catching glimpses of the figure.

Black bobbed hair.

That person was definitely in my Memory…

“Tae!”

I grabbed her shoulder and turned her around.

“…Ah.”

She let out a small moan and then glared at me with a fierce expression.

“Ah.”

It wasn’t Tae.

It was Theia.

“…Professor Theia, good day to you.”

I quickly added the latter part.

“…”

Theia was silent. Cold sweat formed on my temples.

I inadvertently looked behind her. Gerkhen was blinking and standing there.

“l'm sorry. I mistook you for someone else.”

I bowed deeply. Theia glared at me for a moment and then waved her hand dismissively.

“GO.”

“…Yes.”

I turned around quickly and left the library with soliette, who had been waiting with a blank expression.

Soliette asked with round eyes.

“Shion. Who is Tae?”

I scratched the back of my neck.

“Exactly.”

Tae.

Definitely a friend who exists in my memory. As precious as Yael, as precious as soliette. Someone who knew my secret of being 'terminally ill,’ yet now I have no idea where they are… like a ghost.

“l'm so frustrated I don’t know either.”

……

Theia watched the retreating figures of Shion and soliette intently.

Tae.

He definitely called her Tae. That slip of the unconscious was firmly imprinted in his mind.

A troublesome matter.

The symptoms would only worsen over time.

“Gerkhen.”

Theia turned to look at Gerkhen.

“Yes.”

He was almost certainly going to be under her command soon.

He would get his knight's license within a year, and from then on, he would officially be under her tutelage.

“A friend?”

Theia asked him about Shion.

“A classmate.”

Classmate.

A term that implied a distance greater than that of friends.

“The one who beat you.”

“Yes, that’s correct.”

Gerkhen spoke of his defeat without any hint of embarrassment or resentment, an attitude Theia valued.

“…Try to get along with him.”

“…that is sudden?”

Theia glanced around and coughed lightly.

“A rival is necessary. And tell him if there’s any problem, he should ask me. I have a deep understanding of neuroscience.”

“Neuroscience… Why bring this up all of a sudden?”

“lt’s not sudden.”

Theia turned sharply to Gerkhen, who quickly straightened his posture.

“…Anyway. That’s the message I want you to convey.”

“Yes, I understan d.”

In the research lab at Libra Station.

I had returned to work as Killian. The job was simple. It involved using the ‘intuition’ that Vito had praised.

I had to visually inspect the artificial intelligence-related formulas left by Vito and three other researchers, check if they were functioning correctly, and if there were any tangled parts, mark them and pass the information on.

Honestly, it was work that could be finished in three hours, but I deliberately took longer.

Pretending to be tired, pretending to be struggling, pretending to be sleepy—I put on all these acts. If I finished too quickly, I might end up with too much work. It was also a task that actually consumed a fair amount of mana.

“Don’t worry. It's a difficult task to begin with. Intuition is greatly influenced by one’s condition.”

Fortunately, Vito was understanding.

“Thank you.”

“S0, try to check mine first if possible.”

Vito glanced at me. I gave him a meaningful smile.

“Of course. Here are the results of the inspection for Dr. Vito’s formula.”

I handed him the paper where I had finished the calculations. I had pointed out a few parts where the circuitry was not flowing well.

“Hmm.”

Vito’s lips smiled in satisfaction.

“A mazing. You finish mine quickly,”

“I do put the most effort into it, but Dr. Vito’s formulas are the cleanest and have the highest completion rate.”

“Hmm~”

Vito let out a sigh that seemed to savor a piece of poetry.

“lt’s easier to look at, so my intuition works more smooth ly.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“l'm glad to know that. Thank you, Dr. Killian.”

“Rather, I should be thanking you. Being able to see your invaluable formulas every day…”

While lavishing praise with all my might, I pondered for a moment. I carefully gauged the timing to throw in a certain ‘question.’

“By the way.”

“Yes?”

Vito responded with a grin.

Thanks to my compliments, his grassy hair seemed to have become fluffier.

“Do you also work with Lord Sherlock”

“Shh.”

He quickly placed a finger on his lips.

“He dislikes it when someone speaks his name.”

“I apologize.”

“…lt’s alright. Now he’s behind the scenes. Have you worked with him?”

“Yes. He’s like something out of a fantasy.”

“A fantasy…”

Vito let out a faint laugh. I scrutinized his face.

There was no respect or admiration for Sherlock in his expression. It was purely the look of someone dealing with a superior.

“Well, I suppose so. He’s like a fantasy. A fantasy he wishes to become.”

A curious statement.

One thing was clear.

Vito knew ‘something’ about Sherlock.

“Thank you. Then, I’ll finish up the rest after I leave.”

“Yes, do that.”

Surprisingly, Vito was quite flexible about coming and going. He seemed to think it was fine not to come in at all as long as one could do their job well.

I bowed to Vito.

“Please let me know anytime if you have more formulas you'd like me to check.”

“ITI be focused onto this one today. Take care.”

As he trudged away, looking at the formula paper I had given him, he was a true workaholic, obsessed with his work.

A mad scientist who had harmed tens, no, hundreds of thousands of people.

Thirring—

My phone rang.

[Have you had dinner?]

It was a text from Riley.

…

In the station’s cafeteria.

I was having dinner with Riley.

Well, I was the only one eating; she was propping her chin with her hand, staring at me with a drawn-out gaze.

A classic seduction tactic.

“How’s work?”

Riley asked. I slightly lifted my eyes.

“Uh… it’s fine.”

“Dr. Vito was praising you. That’s rare.”

“Thank you. It’s an honor.”

I pretended to suppress a laugh, my smile turning wobbly. Riley also let out a small smile.

“lt’s fascinating. Artificial intelligence. How do you even make something like that?”

“…”

I hardened my expression. Quietly looking at her, I spoke in a meaningful voice.

“You’re better off not knowing.”

“…Better off not knowing?”

“ Huh?”

Just then, another familiar voice appeared.

“What’s this?”

Upon recognizing him, I clenched my teeth. I almost burst into laughter.

“Who might this person be?”

It was Bell Moore. He sat down next to Riley, alternating his gaze between her and me.

Riley introduced me first.

“This is Dr. Killian. He’s new to the artificial intelligence department.”

“Ah, the new guy.”

“New guy? Dr. Killian, this is Team Leader Bell Moore.”

“Hello.”

I nodded to Bell Moore. He nodded back, though he seemed less than pleased.

“Yes.”

“What brings you to the station, Team Leader Bell?”

“The Al department’s been the talk of the town lately, hasn’t it? So I'm here doing an internal sweep… checking for any moles or the like… And speaking of which, Doctor.”

Bell Moore slammed his arm onto the table. Leaning forward, he looked at me intently.

“Any moles in your department?”

“No. Everyone is working hard on their own tasks.”

“IS that so?”

But why is this guy butting in all of a sudden? I need to get charmed by Riley quickly.

“Ahem.”

I slipped my hand into my pocket and sent a call to Bell Moore’s phone.

Ding-

Bell Moore picked up his phone. His brow furrowed.

“What’s this?”

“What’s wrong?”

“lt’s Shion. Suddenly wants me at the Intelligence Agency?”

As he hurriedly got up from his seat, he somehow looked like a dog being summoned by its master.

Riley laughed.

“Pfft. Who’s the team leader here? Comes when called, goes when told.”

“Hey. Don’t you know? A capable employee is one who does their job well, and a capable team leader is one who manages capable employees.”

“Looks like you’re the one being managed, though?”

“Ha! Crazy talk. That’s why you’re the employee. Shion, that bastard, says jump and you ask how high even in your sleep. I’m off.”

Bell Moore dashed out. Riley pointed at his retreating figure and smirked.

“Just ignore him.”

“Ah… Yes.”

I replied, pretending to be an innocent young man. Internally, I contemplated what kind of ‘rice cake’ to give Bell Moore.

After all, if I called him out for nothing and said it was a joke, even the house dog might bite… right?

Ah.

I do have one.

But if I don't say anything, he might just take it himself.

“Oh, by the way. How are you getting home? Do you have a car?”

Riley asked with a subtle tone.

“No, I don’t have a car…”

“That works out. We’re headed the same way, I’ll give you a ride.”

“Uh… Yes, yes. Well, thank you. I mean, I will be thankful.”

I blushed my face. Riley looked at me with a satisfied smile.

“Ah, this little shit. Fuck.”

Bell Moore furrowed his brow in Shion's office.

This subordinate had the nerve to call his team leader and then not be there, not even answering his phone. Does he really think he’s the team leader or what?

Ding-

Just then, a text message arrived.

[Shion: Something urgent came up, so I had to leave first. I’ll talk to you later.]

“Has this fucker lost his mind? Ordering the team leader around?”

With a venomous look on his face, Bell Moore scanned the office. Then, for no particular reason, he sat down in Shion’s executive chair.

“……Whew- Whew-whew-whew”

Whistling, he opened the top drawer. There was a document that looked like a business report.

[Vern’s new business ‘New Frontier’ massive short-selling plan]

“……Oh?”

Bell Moore skimmed through the document. A massive short-selling plan. The operation was an economic strategy to bring down Vern’s 'New Frontier.’

It seemed like a new operation that Shion himself had directly c rafted…

“Hmm.”

Bell Moore read through it briefly and then carefully slipped it into his own pocket.

Well, Shion, this little shit, must have called me over because of this.

“ITI take good care of it~”

Just what I needed, something to mark my intellectual achievements.

Thanks for that.

Meanwhile, at the same time.

Johanna had been admitted to Libra Medical Center. Director Dennison seemed perplexed by Johanna’s presence.

“……Lady Johanna, there’s nothing physically wrong with you.”

In the WIP room, Dennison hoped Johanna would agree to be discharged, but…

“I know, how many times do you have to say it?”

Johanna, in her patient gown, just pointed to her chest with a sulky face.

“Still, there’s such a thing as psychological stress.”

“Psychological stress…”

“Yes. Can you calculate my stress accurately, without a 1 mg margin of error?”

“……That’s difficult.”

“That’s what I’m saying.”

Johanna lay down on the hospital bed. She only turned her head to speak to Dennison.

“First, call my attending physician. I need to check my condition before I go to sleep. You’re not my attending physician anymore, are you, Director Dennison?”

“……Yes.”

Dennison left the room.

Not long after, Yu Hains entered.

He calmly measured Johanna’s pulse.

“lt’s normal.”

“……”

At the word ‘normal,’ Johanna let out a wry laugh.

“Hmm. But you know what? I find that ‘normal’ suspicious.”

“Why is that?”

“Recently, my heart’s been beating in a strange way.”

Johanna placed her hand on her chest.

The way her heart had been beating lately was just too strange.

“I can’t even sleep properly.”

She’s getting angrier, feeling unnecessarily suffocated, and that bastard keeps popping into her mind unexpectedly. More precisely, the scene where he says he ‘can’t go to Lady Johanna’ keeps replaying like a loop.

“lt’s so damn irritating.”

Yu Hains nodded and checked something on the chart.

“Have you experienced any recent emotional distress that could cause such sy m pto m s?”

Johanna immediately shot back a question at Yu Hains.

“Do you know Shion Ascal?”

“……”

“You must know him. You've seen him often enough.”

Yu Hains remained expressionless, saying nothing. Johanna crossed her legs in frustration.

“lt’s because of that bastard. He’s the one pissing me off. So, tell me.”

Her gaze sharpened.

“Did that bastard say anything to you about me? I don’t give a damn about patient confidentiality or any of that crap”

“Ha.”

It was then that Yu Hains’s expressionless face broke into a strange, hollow laugh.

It was an unpleasant feeling for Johanna, but for Yu Hains, it was also an awkward sentiment.

“……Why are you laughing?”

Johanna’s heart aches because of Shion, and Shion is fond of Johanna.

Yu Hains is not oblivious.

In fact, he once passionately loved his own partner.

So, to anyone looking in, this was clearly a lovers’ quarrel.

However, knowing Shion’s diagnosis, Yu Hains could somewhat understand.

Terminal patients often believe their love will become a ‘burden’ to someone else.

Yu Hains himself had experienced this at one point.

“Why are you laughing?” she demanded.

Yu Hains sighed as if in response.

“‘I hope you stay healthy.'”

“……What?”

“Shion Ascal said he hopes Lady Johanna always stays healthy.”

“……”

Johanna was momentarily stunned. She tilted her head, rolling the words ‘I hope you stay healthy’ around in her mouth.

While she was reacting, Yu Hains stood up.

“ITI see you tomorrow. We’ll keep monitoring your pulse regularly.”

Thud-thud-thud— Anticipating that Johanna might try to hold him back, he quickly left the room. Johanna, without even thinking of stopping him, just lay there on the bed.