The Book of Humorous Verse
Chapter 94 : THE HUSBAND'S PEt.i.tION Come hither, my heart's darling, Come, sit upon my k

THE HUSBAND'S PEt.i.tION

Come hither, my heart's darling, Come, sit upon my knee, And listen, while I whisper, A boon I ask of thee.

You need not pull my whiskers So amorously, my dove; 'Tis something quite apart from The gentle cares of love.

I feel a bitter craving-- A dark and deep desire, That glows beneath my bosom Like coals of kindled fire.

The pa.s.sion of the nightingale, When singing to the rose, Is feebler than the agony That murders my repose!

Nay, dearest! do not doubt me, Though madly thus I speak-- I feel thy arms about me, Thy tresses on my cheek: I know the sweet devotion That links thy heart with mine-- I know my soul's emotion Is doubly felt by thine:

And deem not that a shadow Hath fallen across my love: No, sweet, my love is shadowless, As yonder heaven above.

These little taper fingers-- Ah! Jane, how white they be!-- Can well supply the cruel want That almost maddens me.

Thou wilt not sure deny me My first and fond request; I pray thee, by the memory Of all we cherish best-- By all the dear remembrance Of those delicious days, When, hand in hand, we wandered Along the summer braes:

By all we felt, unspoken, When 'neath the early moon, We sat beside the rivulet, In the leafy month of June; And by the broken whisper, That fell upon my ear, More sweet than angel-music, When first I woo'd thee, dear!

By that great vow which bound thee Forever to my side, And by the ring that made thee My darling and my bride!

Thou wilt not fail nor falter, But bend thee to the task-- |A boiled sheep's head on Sunday| Is all the boon I ask.

_William E. Aytoun._

LINES WRITTEN AFTER A BATTLE

BY AN a.s.sISTANT SURGEON OF THE NINETEENTH NANKEENS

Stiff are the warrior's muscles, Congeal'd, alas! his chyle; No more in hostile tussles Will he excite his bile.

Dry is the epidermis, A vein no longer bleeds-- And the communis vermis Upon the warrior feeds.

Compress'd, alas! the thorax, That throbbed with joy or pain; Not e'en a dose of borax Could make it throb again.

Dried up the warrior's throat is, All shatter'd too, his head: Still is the epiglottis-- The warrior is dead.

_Unknown._

LINES

ADDRESSED TO ** **** ***** ON THE 29TH OF SEPTEMBER, WHEN WE PARTED FOR THE LAST TIME

I have watch'd thee with rapture, and dwelt on thy charms, As link'd in Love's fetters we wander'd each day; And each night I have sought a new life in thy arms, And sigh'd that our union could last not for aye.

But thy life now depends on a frail silken thread, Which I even by kindness may cruelly sever, And I look to the moment of parting with dread, For I feel that in parting I lose thee forever.

Sole being that cherish'd my poor troubled heart!

Thou know'st all its secrets--each joy and each grief; And in sharing them all thou did'st ever impart To its sorrows a gentle and soothing relief.

The last of a long and affectionate race, As thy days are declining I love thee the more, For I feel that thy loss I can never replace-- That thy death will but leave me to weep and deplore.

Unchanged, thou shalt live in the mem'ry of years, I cannot--I will not--forget what thou wert!

While the thoughts of thy love as they call forth my tears, In fancy will wash thee once more--|My Last s.h.i.+rt|.

_Unknown._

THE IMAGINATIVE CRISIS

Oh, solitude! thou wonder-working fay, Come nurse my feeble fancy in your arms, Though I, and thee, and fancy town-pent lay, Come, call around, a world of country charms.

Let all this room, these walls dissolve away, And bring me Surrey's fields to take their place: This floor be gra.s.s, and draughts as breezes play; Yon curtains trees, to wave in summer's face; My ceiling, sky; my water-jug a stream; My bed, a bank, on which to muse and dream.

The spell is wrought: imagination swells My sleeping-room to hills, and woods, and dells!

I walk abroad, for naught my footsteps hinder, And fling my arms. Oh! mi! I've broke the _winder_!

_Unknown._

IX

PARODY

THE HIGHER PANTHEISM IN A NUTSh.e.l.l

One, who is not, we see; but one, whom we see not, is; Surely, this is not that; but that is a.s.suredly this.

What, and wherefore, and whence: for under is over and under; If thunder could be without lightning, lightning could be without thunder.

Doubt is faith in the main; but faith, on the whole, is doubt; We cannot believe by proof; but could we believe without?

Why, and whither, and how? for barley and rye are not clover; Neither are straight lines curves; yet over is under and over.

One and two are not one; but one and nothing is two; Truth can hardly be false, if falsehood cannot be true.

Parallels all things are; yet many of these are askew; You are certainly I; but certainly I am not you.