The Book of Humorous Verse
Chapter 158 : O for a lodge in a garden of cuc.u.mbers!O for an iceberg or two at control!O for a va

O for a lodge in a garden of cuc.u.mbers!

O for an iceberg or two at control!

O for a vale which at mid-day the dew c.u.mbers!

O for a pleasure-trip up to the pole!

O for a little one-story thermometer, With nothing but zeroes all ranged in a row!

O for a big double-barreled hygrometer, To measure this moisture that rolls from my brow!

O that this cold world were twenty times colder!

(That's irony red-hot it seemeth to me); O for a turn of its dreaded cold shoulder!

O what a comfort an ague would be!

O for a grotto frost-lined and rill-riven, Scooped in the rock under cataract vast!

O for a winter of discontent even!

O for wet blankets judiciously cast!

O for a soda-fount spouting up boldly From every hot lamp-post against the hot sky!

O for proud maiden to look on me coldly, Freezing my soul with a glance of her eye!

Then O for a draught from a cup of cold pizen, And O for a resting-place in the cold grave!

With a bath in the Styx where the thick shadow lies on And deepens the chill of its dark-running wave.

_Rossiter Johnson._

THE TRIOLET

Easy is the triolet, If you really learn to make it!

Once a neat refrain you get, Easy is the triolet.

As you see!--I pay my debt With another rhyme. Deuce take it, Easy is the triolet, If you really learn to make it!

_William Ernest Henley._

THE RONDEAU

You bid me try, Blue-eyes, to write A Rondeau. What! forthwith?--to-night?

Reflect? Some skill I have, 'tis true; But thirteen lines!--and rhymed on two!-- "Refrain," as well. Ah, hapless plight!

Still there are five lines--ranged aright.

These Gallic bonds, I feared, would fright My easy Muse. They did, till you-- You bid me try!

That makes them eight.--The port's in sight; 'Tis all because your eyes are bright!

Now just a pair to end in "oo,"-- When maids command, what can't we do?

Behold! The Rondeau--tasteful, light-- You bid me try!

_Austin Dobson._

LIFE[1]

1. Why all this toil for triumphs of an hour?

2. Life's a short summer, man a flower.

3. By turns we catch the vital breath and die-- 4. The cradle and the tomb, alas! so nigh.

5. To be, is better far than not to be.

6. Though all man's life may seem a tragedy; 7. But light cares speak when mighty griefs are dumb, 8. The bottom is but shallow whence they come.

9. Your fate is but the common lot of all: 10. Unmingled joys here to no man befall, 11. Nature to each allots his proper sphere; 12. Fortune makes folly her peculiar care; 13. Custom does often reason overrule, 14. And throw a cruel suns.h.i.+ne on a fool.

15. Live well; how long or short, permit to Heaven; 16. They who forgive most, shall be most forgiven.

17. Sin may be clasped so close we cannot see its face-- 18. Vile intercourse where virtue has no place.

19. Then keep each pa.s.sion down, however dear; 20. Thou pendulum betwixt a smile and tear.

21. Her sensual snares, let faithless pleasure lay, 22. With craft and skill, to ruin and betray; 23. Soar not too high to fall, but stoop to rise.

24. We masters grow of all that we despise.

25. Oh, then, renounce that impious self-esteem; 26. Riches have wings, and grandeur is a dream.

27. Think not ambition wise because 'tis brave, 28. The paths of glory lead but to the grave.

29. What is ambition?--'tis a glorious cheat!-- 30. Only destructive to the brave and great.

31. What's all the gaudy glitter of a crown?

32. The way to bliss lies not on beds of down.

33. How long we live, not years but actions tell; 34. That man lives twice who lives the first life well.

35. Make, then, while yet ye may, your G.o.d your friend, 36. Whom Christians wors.h.i.+p yet not comprehend.

37. The trust that's given guard, and to yourself be just; 38. For, live we how we can, yet die we must.

_Unknown._

[Footnote 1: 1. Young; 2. Dr. Johnson; 3. Pope; 4. Prior; 5. Sewell; 6. Spenser; 7. Daniell; 8. Sir Walter Raleigh; 9. Longfellow; 10. Southwell; 11. Congreve; 12. Churchill; 13. Rochester; 14.

Armstrong; 15. Milton; 16. Bailey; 17. Trench; 18. Somerville; 19. Thomson; 20. Byron; 21. Smollett; 22. Crabbe; 23. Ma.s.singer; 24. Cowley; 25. Beattie; 26. Cowper; 27. Sir Walter Davenant; 28. Gray; 29. Willis; 30. Addison; 31. Dryden; 32.

Francis Quarles; 33. Watkins; 34. Herrick; 35. William Mason; 36. Hill; 37. Dana; 38. Shakespeare.]

ODE TO THE HUMAN HEART

Blind Thamyris, and blind Maeonides, Pursue the triumph and partake the gale!

Drop tears as fast as the Arabian trees, To point a moral or adorn a tale.

Full many a gem of purest ray serene, Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears, Like angels' visits, few and far between, Deck the long vista of departed years.

Man never is, but always to be bless'd; The tenth transmitter of a foolish face, Like Aaron's serpent, swallows up the rest, And makes a suns.h.i.+ne in the shady place.

For man the hermit sigh'd, till woman smiled, To waft a feather or to drown a fly, (In wit a man, simplicity a child,) With silent finger pointing to the sky.