The Diary and Letters of Madame D'Arblay
Chapter 29 : "O, ma'am, I'm so prodigiously concerned; Mr. Henry won't come!&quo

"O, ma'am, I'm so prodigiously concerned; Mr. Henry won't come!"

"Who, ma'am?"

"Mr. Henry, ma'am, the doctor's son. But, to be sure, he does not know you are here, or else--but I'm quite concerned, indeed, for here now we shall have no young gentlemen!"

"O, all the better," cried I, "I hope we shall be able to do very well without."

"O yes, ma'am, to be sure. I don't mean for any common young gentlemen; but Mr. Henry, ma'am, it's quite another thing;--however, I think he might have come but I did not happen to mention in my card that you was to be here, and so--but I think it serves him right for not coming to see me."

Soon after the mamma hobbled to me, and began a furious Panegyric upon my book, saying at the same time,

"I wonder, Miss, how you could get at them low characters. As to the lords and ladies, that's no wonder at all; but, as to t'others, why, I have not stirred night nor morning while I've been reading it; if I don't wonder how you could be so clever!"

And much, much more. And, scarcely had she unburthened herself, ere Miss L--trotted back to me, crying, in a tone of mingled triumph and vexation,

"Well, ma'am, Mr. Henry will be very much mortified when he knows who has been here; that he will, indeed; however, I'm sure he deserves it!"

I made some common sort of reply, that I hoped he was better engaged, which she vehemently declared was impossible.

We had now some music. Miss L-- sung various old elegies of Jackson, Dr. Harrington, and Linley, and O how I dismalled in hearing them! Mr.

Whalley, too, sung "Robin Gray," and divers other melancholic ballads, and Miss Thrale Sang "Ti seguiro fedele." But the first time there was a cessation of harmony, Miss L-- again respectfully approaching me, cried,

"O well, all my comfort is that Mr. Henry will be prodigiously mortified! But there's a ball to-night, so I suppose he's gone to that.

However, I'm sure if he had known of meeting you young ladies here--but it's all good enough for him, for not coming."

"Nay," cried I, "if meeting young ladies is a motive with him, he can have nothing to regret while at a ball, where he will see many more than he could here."

"O, ma'am, as to that--but I say no more, because it mayn't be proper; but, to be sure, if Mr. Henry had known--however, he'll be well mortified!"...

I was not two minutes relieved, ere Miss I--returned, to again a.s.sure me how glad she was that Mr. Henry would be mortified. The poor lady was quite heart-broken that we did not meet.

ALL THE BEST FAMILIES IN THE NAVY.

_Tuesday._--Lord Mulgrave called this morning. He is returned to Bath for only a few days. He was not in his usual spirits; yet he failed not to give me a rub for my old offence, which he seems determined not to forget; for upon something being said, to which, however, I had not attended, about seamen, he cast an arch glance at me, and cried out,

"Miss Burney, I know, will take our parts--if I remember right, she is one of the greatest of our enemies!"

"All the sea captains," said Mrs. Thrale, "fall upon Miss Burney: Captain Cotton, my cousin, was for ever plaguing her about her spite to the navy."

This, however, was for the character of Captain Mirvan,[122] which, in a comical and good-humoured way, Captain Cotton pretended highly to resent, and so, he told me, did all the captains in the navy.

Augusta Byron, too, tells me that the admiral, her father, very often talks of Captain Mirvan, and though the book is very high in his favour, is not half pleased with the captain's being such a brute.

However, I have this to comfort me--that the more I see of sea captains, the less reason I have to be ashamed of Captain Mirvan; for they have all so irresistible a propensity to wanton mischief--to roasting beaus, and detesting old women, that I quite rejoice I showed the book to no one ere printed, lest I should have been prevailed upon to soften his character. Some time after, while Lord Mulgrave was talking of Captain G. Byron's marrying a girl at Barbadoes, whom he had not known a week, he turned suddenly to me, and called out,

"See, Miss Burney, what you have to expect--your brother will bring a bride from Kamschatka, without doubt!"

"That," said I, "may perhaps be as well as a Hottentot, for when he was last out, he threatened us with a sister from the Cape of Good Hope."

_Thursday,_--Lord Mulgrave and Dr. Harrington dined here. Lord Mulgrave was delightful;--his wit is of so gay, so forcible, so splendid a kind that when he is disposed to exert it, he not only engrosses attention from all the rest of the company, but demands the full use of all one's faculties to keep pace in understanding the speeches, allusions, and sarcasms which he sports. But he will never, I believe, be tired of attacking me about the sea; "he will make me 'eat it that leak," I a.s.sure _you_.

During dinner he was speaking very highly of a sea officer whose name, I think, was Reynolds.

"And who is he?" asked Mrs. Thrale, to which his lords.h.i.+p answered, "Brother to Lord--something, but I forget what;" and then, laughing and looking at me, he added, "We have all the great families in the navy--ay, and all the best families, too,--have we not, Miss Burney? The sea is so favourable an element to genius, that there all high-souled younger brothers with empty pockets are sure of thriving: nay, I can say even more for it, for it not only fosters the talents of the spirited younger brothers, it also lightens the dullness even of that poor animal--an elder brother; so that it is always the most desirable place both for best and worst."

"Well, your lords.h.i.+p is always ready to praise it," said Mrs. Thrale, "and I only wish we had a few more like you in the service,--and long may you live, both to defend and to ornament it!"

"Defence," answered he with quickness, "it does not want, and, for ornament, it is above all!"

THE LADY OF BATH EASTON.

_Sat.u.r.day._--In the afternoon we all went to the Whalleys, where we found a large and a highly dressed company, at the head of which sat Lady Miller.[123]

As soon as my discourse was over with Mr. Whalley, Lady Miller arose, and went to Mrs. Thrale, and whispered something to her. Mrs. Thrale then rose, too, and said,

"If your ladys.h.i.+p will give me leave, I will first introduce my daughter to you"--making Miss Thrale, who was next her mother, make her reverences.

"And now," she continued, "Miss Burney, Lady Miller desires to be introduced to you."

Up I jumped and walked forward; Lady Miller, very civilly, more than met me half way, and said very polite things, of her wish to know me, and regret that she had not sooner met me, and then we both returned to our seats.

Do you know now that notwithstanding Bath Easton is so much laughed at in London, nothing here is more tonish than to visit Lady Miller, who is extremely curious in her company, admitting few people who are not of rank or of fame, and excluding of those all who are not people of character very unblemished.

Some time after, Lady Miller took a seat next mine on the sofa, to play at cards, and was excessively civil indeed--scolded Mrs. Thrale for not sooner making us acquainted, and had the politeness to offer to take me to the b.a.l.l.s herself, as she heard Mr. and Mrs. Thrale did not choose to go.

After all this, it is hardly fair to tell you what I think of her.

However, the truth is, I always, to the best of my intentions, speak honestly what I think of the folks I see, without being bia.s.sed either by their civilities or neglect; and that you will allow is being a very faithful historian.

Well then, Lady Miller is a round, plump, coa.r.s.e looking dame of about forty, and while all her aim is to appear an elegant woman of fas.h.i.+on, all her success is to seem an ordinary woman in very common life, with fine clothes on. Her manners are bustling, her air is mock-important, and her manners very inelegant.

So much for the lady of Bath Easton; who, however, seems extremely good-natured, and who is, I am sure, extremely civil.

A FAs.h.i.+ONABLE CONCERT.

_June 4._--To go on with Sat.u.r.day evening. We left the Whalleys at nine, and then proceeded to Sir J. C--, who had invited us to a concert at his house.