The Diary and Letters of Madame D'Arblay
Chapter 95 : "If I am," cried he, impetuously, "I dedicate myself to you!--A voluntee

"If I am," cried he, impetuously, "I dedicate myself to you!--A volunteer, ma'am, remember that! I dedicate myself to you, therefore, of my own accord, for every journey! You shall not get rid of me these twenty years."

I tried to get myself away-but he would not let me move and he began, with still increasing violence of manner, a most fervent protestation that he would not be set aside, and that he devoted himself to me entirely. And, to say the simple truth, ridiculous as all this was, I really began to grow a little frightened by his vehemence and his posture - till, at last, in the midst of an almost furious vow, in which he dedicated himself to me for ever, he relieved me, by suddenly calling upon Jupiter, Juno, Mars, and Hercules, and every G.o.d, and every G.o.ddess, to witness his oath.

And then, content with his sublimity, he arose.

Was it not a curious scene? and have I not a curious fellow traveller for my little journeys?

Monday, Feb. 19.-This morning I Proposed to my fellow travellers that we should begin our journey on foot. The wonderment with which they heard a proposal so new was diverting : but they all agreed to it; and though they declared that my predecessor, Mrs.

Haggerdorn, would have thought the person fit for Bedlam who should have suggested such plan, no one could find any real objection, and off we set, ordering the coach to proceed slowly after us.

The weather was delightful, and the enterprise served to shorten and enliven the expedition, and pleased them all, Page 26

Mr. Turbulent began, almost immediately, an attack about his colonel : upon quite a new ground, yet as restless and earnest as upon the old one. He now reproached my attention to him, protesting I talked to him continually, and spun out into an hour's discourse what might have been said in three minutes.

"And was it my spinning?" I could not forbear saying.

"Yes, ma'am: for you might have dropped it."

"How?--by not answering when spoken to?"

"by not talking to him, ma'am, more than to any one else."

"And pray, Mr. Turbulent, solve me, then, this difficulty; what choice has a poor female with whom she may converse? Must she not, in company as in dancing, take up with those Who choose to take up with her?"

He was staggered by this question, and while he wavered how to answer it, I pursued my little advantage--

"No man, Mr. Turbulent, has any cause to be flattered that a woman talks with him, while it is only in reply; for though he may come, go, address or neglect, and do as he will,-- she, let her think and wish what she may, must only follow as he leads."

He protested, with great warmth, he never heard any thing so proudly said in Ins life. But I would not retract.

"And now, ma'am," he continued, "how wondrous intimate you are grown! After such averseness to a meeting--such struggles to avoid him; what am I to think of the sincerity of that pretended reluctance?"

"You must think the truth," said I, "that it was not the colonel, but the equerry, I wished to avoid; that it was not the individual, but the official necessity of receiving company, that I wished to escape."

BANTERING A PRINCESS.

March 1.- With all the various humours in which I had already seen Mr. Turbulent, he gave me this evening a surprise, by his behaviour to one of the princesses, nearly the same that I had experienced from him myself. The Princess Augusta came, during coffee, for a knotting shuttle of the queen's. While she was speaking to me, he stood behind and exclaimed, 'a demi voix, as if to himself, "Comme elle est jolie ce soir, son Altesse Royale!" And then, seeing her blush extremely, he clasped his hands, in high pretended confusion,

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and hiding his head, called Out, "Que ferai-je? The princess has heard me!"

"Pray, Mr. Turbulent," cried she, hastily, "what play are you to read to-night?"

"You shall choose, ma'am; either 'La Coquette corrigee,' or--"

[he named another I have forgotten.]

"O no!" cried she, "that last is shocking! don't let me hear that!"

"I understand you, ma'am. You fix, then, upon 'La Coquette?'

'La Coquette' is your royal highness's taste?"

"No, indeed, I am sure I did not say that."

"Yes, ma'am, by implication. And certainly, therefore, I will read it, to please your royal highness!"

"No, pray don't; for I like none of them."

"None of them, ma'am?"

"No, none;--no French plays at all!" And away she was running, with a droll air, that acknowledged she had said something to provoke him.

"This is a declaration, ma'am, I must beg you to explain!" cried he, gliding adroitly between the princess and the door, and shutting it With his back.

"No, no, I can't explain it;--so pray, Mr. Turbulent, do open the door."

"Not for the world, ma'am, with such a stain uncleared upon your royal highness's taste and feeling!"

She told him she positively could not stay, and begged him to let her pa.s.s instantly. But he would hear her no more than he has heard me, protesting he was too much shocked for her, to suffer her to depart without clearing her own credit!

He conquered at last, and thus forced to speak, she turned round to us and said, "Well--if I must, then--I will appeal to these ladies, who understand such things far better than I do, and ask them if it is not true about these French plays, that they are all so like to one another, that to hear them in this manner every night is enough to tire one?"

"Pray, then, madam," cried he, "if French plays have the misfortune to displease you, what national plays have the honour Of your preference?"

I saw he meant something that she understood better than me, for she blushed again, and called out "Pray open the door at once! I can stay no longer; do let me go, Mr. Turbulent!"

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"Not till you have answered that question, ma'am' what country has plays to your royal highness's taste?"

"Miss Burney," cried she impatiently, yet laughing, "pray do you take him away!--Pull him!"

He bowed to me very invitingly for the office but I frankly answered her, "Indeed, ma'am, I dare not undertake him! I cannot manage him at all."

"The country! the country! Princess Augusta! name the happy country!" was all she could gain.

"Order him away, Miss Burney," cried she. "It is your room: order him away from the door."

"Name it, ma'am, name it!" exclaimed he; "name but the chosen nation!"

And then, fixing her with the most provoking eyes, "Est-ce la Danemarc?" he cried.

She coloured violently, and quite angry with him, called out, "Mr. Turbulent, how can you be such a fool!" And now I found . .

. the prince royal of Denmark was in his meaning, and in her understanding!

He bowed to the ground, in grat.i.tude for the term "fool," but added with pretended Submission to her will, "Very well, ma'am, s'il ne faut lire que les comedies Danoises."

" Do let me go!" cried she, seriously; and then he made way, with a profound bow as she pa.s.sed, saying, "Very well, ma'am, 'La Coquette,' then? your royal highness chooses 'La Coquette corrigee?'"