The Diary and Letters of Madame D'Arblay
Chapter 156 : I need not, I think, tell you, the little bearer begged not in vain. The king was extr

I need not, I think, tell you, the little bearer begged not in vain. The king was extremely pleased. He came into a room belonging to the princesses, in which we had a party to look at the illuminations, and there he stayed above an hour; cheerful, composed, and gracious! all that could merit the great national testimony to his worth this day paid him.

MR FAIRLY ON MISS BURNEY's DUTIES.

Windsor, March 18.-A little rap announced Mr. Fairly, who came in, saying, "I am escaped for a little while, to have some quiet conversation with you, before the general a.s.semblage and storm of company." He then gravely said, "Tomorrow I shall take leave of you--for a long time

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He intended setting off to-morrow morning for town, by the opportunity of the equerries' coach, which would convey him to Kew, where his majesty was to receive an address.

He told me, with a good deal of humour, that he suspected me of being rather absent in my official occupation, from little natural care about toilettes and such things. I could not possibly deny this,--on the contrary, I owned I had, at first, found my attention unattainable, partly from flutter and embarra.s.sment, and partly from the reasons he so discerningly a.s.signed. "I have even," I added, "and not seldom, handed her fan before her gown, and her gloves before her cap but I am better in all that now!"

"I should think all that very likely," cried he, smiling; "yet it is not very trifling with her majesty, who is so exact and precise, such things seem to her of moment."

This is truth itself.

I said, "No,--she is more gracious, more kind, indeed, to me than ever: she scarce speaks, scarce turns to me without a smile."

" Well," cried he, extremely pleased, "this must much soften your employment and confinement. And, indeed, it was most natural to expect this time of distress should prove a cement."

A VISIT FROM MISS FUZILIER.

I think I need not mention meeting my beloved Fredy in town, on our delightful excursion thither for the grand restoration Drawing-room, in which the queen received the compliments and congratulations of almost all the Court part of the nation. Miss Cambridge worked me, upon this occasion, a suit, in silks upon tiffany, most excessively delicate and pretty, and much admired by her majesty.

All I shall mention of this town visit is, that, the day after the great Drawing-room, Miss Fuzilier, for the first time since I have been in office, called upon me to inquire after the queen.

Miss Tryon, and Mrs. Tracey, and Mrs. Fielding were with her.

She looked serious, sensible, interesting. I thought instantly of the report concerning Mr. Fairly, and of his disavowal : but it was singular that the only time she opened her mouth to speak was to name him! Miss Tryon, who chatted incessantly, had spoken of the great confusion at the Drawing-room, from the crowd: "It was intended to be better regulated," said Miss

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F., "Mr. Fairly told me." She dropped her eye the moment she had spoken his name. After this, as before it, she said nothing.

Mr. George Villiers, a younger brother of Lord Clarendon, was now here as groom of the bedchamber. He is very clever, somewhat caustigue, but so loyal and vehement in the king's cause, that he has the appellation, from his party, of "The Tiger."

He would not obtain it for his person, which is remarkably slim, slight, and delicate.

A COMMAND FROM HER MAJESTY.

Kew, April, 1789. My dearest friends, - I have her majesty's commands to inquire--whether you have any of a certain breed of poultry?

N.B. What breed I do not remember.

And to say she has just received a small group of the same herself.

N.B. The quant.i.ty I have forgotten.

And to add, she is a.s.sured they are something very rare and scarce, and extraordinary and curious.

N.B. By whom she was a.s.sured I have not heard.

And to subjoin, that you must send word if you have any of the same sort.

N.B. How you are to find that out, I cannot tell.

And to mention, as a corollary, that, if you have none of them, and should like to have some, she has a c.o.c.k and a hen she can spare, and will appropriate them to Mr. Locke and my dearest Fredy.

This conclusive stroke so pleased and exhilarated me, that forthwith I said you would both be enchanted, and so forgot all the preceding particulars. And I said, moreover, that I knew you would rear them, and cheer them, and fondle them like your children.

So now-pray write a very fair answer fairly, in fair hand, and to her fair purpose.

COLONEL MANNERS MYSTIFIES MRS. SCHWELLENBERG.

Queen's Lodge, Windsor, April.-Mrs. Schwellenberg is softened into nothing but civility and courtesy to me. To what the change is owing I cannot conjecture; but I do all that in me lies Page 306

to support it, preferring the entire sacrifice of every moment, from our dinner to twelve at night, to her harshness and horrors.

Nevertheless, a la.s.situde of existence creeps sensibly upon me.

Colonel Manners, however, for the short half-hour of tea-time, is irresistibly diverting. He continues my constant friend and neighbour, and, while he affects to play off the coadjutrix to advantage, he nods at me, to draw forth my laughter or approbation, with the most alarming undisguise. I often fear her being affronted ; but naturally she admires him very much for his uncommon share of beauty, and makes much allowance for his levity. However, the never-quite-comprehended affair of the leather bed-cover,(306) has in some degree intimidated her ever since, as she constantly apprehends that, if he were provoked, he would play her some trick.

He had been at White's ball, given in town upon his majesty's recovery. We begged some account of it: he ranted away with great fluency, uttering little queer sarcasms at Mrs, Schwellenberg by every opportunity, and colouring when he had done, with private fear of enraging her. This, however, she suspected not, or all his aim had been lost; for to alarm her is his delight.

"I liked it all," he said, in summing up his relation, "very well, except the music, and I like any caw-caw-caw, better than that sort of noise,--only you must not tell the king I say that, ma'am, because the king likes it."

She objected to the words " must not," and protested she would not be directed by no one, and would tell it, if she pleased.

Upon this, he began a most boisterous threatening of the evil consequences which would accrue to herself, though in so ludicrous a manner, that how she could suppose him serious was my wonder. "Take care of yourself, ma'am," he cried, holding up his finger as if menacing a child; "take care of yourself! I am not to be provoked twice!"

This, after a proud resistance, conquered her - and, really frightened at she knew not what, she fretfully exclaimed, "Ver well, sir!--I wish I had not come down! I won't no more! you might have your tea when you can get It."

Returning to his account, he owned he had been rather a little musical himself for once, which was when they all sang "G.o.d save the king," after the supper; for then he joined in

Page 307 the chorus, as well and as loud as any of them, "though some of the company," he added, "took the liberty to ask me not to be so loud, because they pretended I was out of tune; but it was In such a good cause that I did not mind that."

She was no sooner recovered than the attack became personal again; and so it has continued ever since: he seems bent upon "playing her off" in all manners; he braves her, then compliments her, a.s.sents to her opinion, and the next moment contradicts her; pretends uncommon friends.h.i.+p for her, and then laughs in her face. But his worst manoeuvre is a perpetual application to me, by looks and sly glances, which fill me with terror of pa.s.sing for an accomplice; and the more, as I find it utterly impossible to keep grave during these absurdities. And yet, the most extraordinary part of the story is that she really likes him!

though at times she is so angry, she makes vows to keep to her own room.

Mr. George Villiers, with far deeper aim, sneers out his own more artful satire, but is never understood ; while Colonel Manners domineers with so high a hand, he carries all before him; and whenever Mrs. Schwellenberg, to lessen her mortification, draws me into the question, he instantly turns off whatever she begins into some high-flown compliment, so worded also as to convey some comparative reproach. This offends more than all.