The Poetical Works of William Wordsworth
Chapter 73 : OSWALD I had been deceived.MARMADUKE And from that hour the miserable man No more was h

OSWALD I had been deceived.

MARMADUKE And from that hour the miserable man No more was heard of?

OSWALD I had been betrayed.

MARMADUKE And he found no deliverance!

OSWALD The Crew Gave me a hearty welcome; they had laid The plot to rid themselves, at any cost, Of a tyrannic Master whom they loathed.

So we pursued our voyage: when we landed, The tale was spread abroad; my power at once Shrunk from me; plans and schemes, and lofty hopes-- All vanished. I gave way--do you attend?

MARMADUKE The Crew deceived you?

OSWALD Nay, command yourself.

MARMADUKE It is a dismal night--how the wind howls!

OSWALD I hid my head within a Convent, there Lay pa.s.sive as a dormouse in mid winter.

That was no life for me--I was o'erthrown But not destroyed.

MARMADUKE The proofs--you ought to have seen The guilt--have touched it--felt it at your heart-- As I have done.

OSWALD A fresh tide of Crusaders Drove by the place of my retreat: three nights Did constant meditation dry my blood; Three sleepless nights I pa.s.sed in sounding on, Through words and things, a dim and perilous way; And, wheresoe'er I turned me, I beheld A slavery compared to which the dungeon And clanking chains are perfect liberty.

You understand me--I was comforted; I saw that every possible shape of action Might lead to good--I saw it and burst forth Thirsting for some of those exploits that fill The earth for sure redemption of lost peace.

[Marking MARMADUKE'S countenance.]

Nay, you have had the worst. Ferocity Subsided in a moment, like a wind That drops down dead out of a sky it vexed.

And yet I had within me evermore A salient spring of energy; I mounted From action up to action with a mind That never rested--without meat or drink Have I lived many days--my sleep was bound To purposes of reason--not a dream But had a continuity and substance That waking life had never power to give.

MARMADUKE O wretched Human-kind!--Until the mystery Of all this world is solved, well may we envy The worm, that, underneath a stone whose weight Would crush the lion's paw with mortal anguish, Doth lodge, and feed, and coil, and sleep, in safety.

Fell not the wrath of Heaven upon those traitors?

OSWALD Give not to them a thought. From Palestine We marched to Syria: oft I left the Camp, When all that mult.i.tude of hearts was still, And followed on, through woods of gloomy cedar, Into deep chasms troubled by roaring streams; Or from the top of Lebanon surveyed The moonlight desert, and the moonlight sea: In these my lonely wanderings I perceived What mighty objects do impress their forms To elevate our intellectual being; And felt, if aught on earth deserves a curse, 'Tis that worst principle of ill which dooms A thing so great to perish self-consumed.

--So much for my remorse!

MARMADUKE Unhappy Man!

OSWALD When from these forms I turned to contemplate The World's opinions and her usages, I seemed a Being who had pa.s.sed alone Into a region of futurity, Whose natural element was freedom--

MARMADUKE Stop-- I may not, cannot, follow thee.

OSWALD You must.

I had been nourished by the sickly food Of popular applause. I now perceived That we are praised, only as men in us Do recognise some image of themselves, An abject counterpart of what they are, Or the empty thing that they would wish to be.

I felt that merit has no surer test Than obloquy; that, if we wish to serve The world in substance, not deceive by show, We must become obnoxious to its hate, Or fear disguised in simulated scorn.

MARMADUKE I pity, can forgive, you; but those wretches-- That monstrous perfidy!

OSWALD Keep down your wrath.

False Shame discarded, spurious Fame despised, Twin sisters both of Ignorance, I found Life stretched before me smooth as some broad way Cleared for a monarch's progress. Priests might spin Their veil, but not for me--'twas in fit place Among its kindred cobwebs. I had been, And in that dream had left my native land, One of Love's simple bondsmen--the soft chain Was off for ever; and the men, from whom This liberation came, you would destroy: Join me in thanks for their blind services.

MARMADUKE 'Tis a strange aching that, when we would curse And cannot.--You have betrayed me--I have done-- I am content--I know that he is guiltless-- That both are guiltless, without spot or stain, Mutually consecrated. Poor old Man!

And I had heart for this, because thou lovedst Her who from very infancy had been Light to thy path, warmth to thy blood!--Together [Turning to OSWALD.]

We propped his steps, he leaned upon us both.

OSWALD Ay, we are coupled by a chain of adamant; Let us be fellow-labourers, then, to enlarge Man's intellectual empire. We subsist In slavery; all is slavery; we receive Laws, but we ask not whence those laws have come; We need an inward sting to goad us on.

MARMADUKE Have you betrayed me? Speak to that.

OSWALD The mask, Which for a season I have stooped to wear, Must be cast off.--Know then that I was urged, (For other impulse let it pa.s.s) was driven, To seek for sympathy, because I saw In you a mirror of my youthful self; I would have made us equal once again, But that was a vain hope. You have struck home, With a few drops of blood cut short the business; Therein for ever you must yield to me.

But what is done will save you from the blank Of living without knowledge that you live: Now you are suffering--for the future day, 'Tis his who will command it.--Think of my story-- Herbert is _innocent_.

MARMADUKE (in a faint voice, and doubtingly) You do but echo My own wild words?

OSWALD Young Man, the seed must lie Hid in the earth, or there can be no harvest; 'Tis Nature's law. What I have done in darkness I will avow before the face of day.

Herbert _is_ innocent.

MARMADUKE What fiend could prompt This action? Innocent!--oh, breaking heart!-- Alive or dead, I'll find him.

[Exit.]

OSWALD Alive--perdition!

[Exit.]