Fifty Contemporary One-Act Plays
Chapter 70 : MRS. LEZINSKY. About how much, Mr. Rosenbloom? Say--an inch?MR. ROSENBLOOM. An inch or

MRS. LEZINSKY. About how much, Mr. Rosenbloom? Say--an inch?

MR. ROSENBLOOM. An inch or an inch and a half--maybe.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_measures again_]. I think that makes them too short, Mr.

Rosenbloom. One inch is plenty.

MR. ROSENBLOOM. All right--one inch, then.

MRS. LEZINSKY. One inch.... All right, Mr. Rosenbloom--one inch.

MR. ROSENBLOOM. How soon will they be ready?

MRS. LEZINSKY. Maybe to-morrow. He lets all this other work go--maybe--and sets to work on them right away when he gets back home.

MR. ROSENBLOOM. All right.

MRS. LEZINSKY. I send my David or Julius with them, Mr. Rosenbloom?

MR. ROSENBLOOM. I'll stop in the evening and try the coat on.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Maybe it wouldn't be ready to try on so soon--All right, Mr. Rosenbloom, this evening you come in. [_She calls after him as he goes out._] O, Mr. Rosenbloom! The pants? What should he do to the pants?

MR. ROSENBLOOM [_from the doorway_]. Press them. [_He turns back._]

Press the--whole thing--suit.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Press them. Sure. Press the suit. A fine suit. Certainly a fine piece of goods, Mr. Rosenbloom. Did my husband make it up for you?

MR. ROSENBLOOM. Yes.

MRS. LEZINSKY. I thought so. Wears like iron, too, this goods. Yes, Mr.

Rosenbloom? With one eye my husband picks the best pieces of goods I tell you, Mr. Rosenbloom.... He should shorten the sleeves one inch....

All right, he fixes it to your satisfaction, Mr. Rosenbloom--

MR. ROSENBLOOM. Yes, yes. [_Impatiently edges toward the door._]

MRS. LEZINSKY. This evening you come for them?

[_He nods and hurries out._]

MRS. LEZINSKY. Five dollars! [_Drops everything and stands looking dreamily through the shop window at the baby-carriage. She takes a roll of money from her bosom and counts it. Shakes her head dispiritedly and sighs. She makes an estimate of the money coming in from the work on hand. Pointing to Mr. Rosenbloom's suit._] Two dollars for that--[_Turns from the suit to a pair of torn trousers._] Half a dollar, anyhow--[_Points to the lady's coat on which she has been sewing b.u.t.tons._] A dollar--maybe--[_Hears some one coming, thrusts the roll of money back into her bosom._]

LEZINSKY [_comes in. Spare. Medium height. p.r.o.nounced Semitic type. He wears gla.s.ses with very thick lenses._] Where are the children?

MRS. LEZINSKY. Mrs. Klein takes them to the moving pictures with her Izzy.

LEZINSKY. Always to the moving pictures! The children go blind, too, pretty soon.

MRS. LEZINSKY. The doctor didn't make your eyes no better, Solly?

LEZINSKY. How should he make them better when he says all the time: "Don't use them." And all the time a man must keep right on working to put bread in the mouths of his children. And soon, now, another one comes--nebb.i.+.c.h!

MRS. LEZINSKY. Maybe your eyes get much better now when our little Eileen comes.

LEZINSKY. Better a boy, Goldie: that helps more in the business.

MRS. LEZINSKY. It's time our David and Julius and Benny should have a little sister now. They like that. Such another little girl like Mrs.

Rooney's Eileen. When it is, maybe, a girl, we call her Eileen--like Mrs. Rooney's Eileen. Such a gorgeous name--that Eileen! Yes, Solly?

LEZINSKY. Eileen! A Goy name! She should be Rebecca for your mother or Zipporah for mine.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Sure. Zipporah, too, Solly--Eileen Zipporah! When there should be sometime--another boy, Solly, then you name him what you like.

When it a little girl--Eileen. I dress her up stylish. Such beautiful things they have in Gumpertz's window. And--Mrs. Rooney sells her baby-carriage. [_Both look out at the carriage._] She gives it away.

LEZINSKY. She gives you a baby-carriage?

MRS. LEZINSKY. For five dollars she gives me that lovely carriage good as new--all fresh painted white--and the little Eileen Zipporah sleeps at the head and Benny rides at the foot by his little sister. So elegant--Solly!

LEZINSKY. I put my eyes out to earn the bread and this woman--she should buy a baby-carriage. Oi! Oi!

MRS. LEZINSKY [_points to carriage_]. Such a baby-carriage what Mrs.

Rooney has--it only happens to us once, Solly. Only five one-dollars--all fresh painted white--just like new--and such a cover to keep out the sun. She gets a little new go-cart for Eileen. Otherwise she don't give up such an elegant carriage what cost her more money than we could even see at one time except for rents and gas-bills. Five dollars is cheap for that carriage. Five dollars is nothing for that carriage I tell you, Solly. Nothing at all. She sells it now before she moves to the Bronx this afternoon. Such a bargain we shouldn't lose, Solly--even if we don't pay all the money right away down. Yes, Solly?

And Mrs. Rooney--she gives our David and Julius and Benny skates and a picture book--and their little sister this fine basket. [_Shows him the basket._] Yes, Solly. Shouldn't we make sure to buy this baby-carriage?

Only five dollars, Solly, this baby-carriage--

LEZINSKY. Baby-carriage! Baby-carriage! If I had so much money for baby-carriages I hire me a cutter here. This way I go blind.

MRS. LEZINSKY. No, but by reading the Torah! And that way you lose good custom, too. [_Wheedling him again._] Maybe you get good business and hire you a cutter when the little Eileen comes. Five dollars! Does that pay wages to a cutter? Yes, Solly? But it buys once a beautiful baby-carriage, and David and Julius go wild to ride their little sister in it--and Benny at the foot.

LEZINSKY [_waving his arms_]. I should have a cutter not to lose my customers--and this woman--she would have a baby-carriage. I lose my eyes, but she would have a baby-carriage.

MRS. LEZINSKY. But it costs only five dollars. What costs a cutter?

LEZINSKY. At Union wages! I might as well ask for the moon, Goldie. Oi!

Oi! Soon we all starve together.

MRS. LEZINSKY. You hire you a cheap hand here, Solly. He does pressing and all the dirty work. He works and you boss him around. That looks good to the customers. Yes, Solly? And I save up that five dollars soon and give it back to you. Yes, Solly? Business goes better now already when people come back from the country and everything picks up a little.

I help now and we spare that five dollars. Mr. Rosenbloom brings us a little work. See? [_She points to the coat._] You should make the sleeves shorter--one inch. Mr. Rosenbloom gets thinner by his sickness.

His clothes hang a little loose on him.

LEZINSKY [_looks at the trousers_]. And the pants?

MRS. LEZINSKY. Mr. Rosenbloom didn't lose his stomach by his sickness.

He only loses his face.

LEZINSKY. Such a _chutzpah_!

MRS. LEZINSKY. Yes, nothing makes Mr. Rosenbloom to lose his cheek, ain't it, Solly? And plenty roast goose has he to fill up his stomach.

By us is no more roast goose nowadays.