The Spectator
Chapter 58 : '... Genus immortale manet, multosque per annos Stat fortuna Domus, et avi numeran

'... Genus immortale manet, multosque per annos Stat fortuna Domus, et avi numerantur avorum.'

Virg.

Having already given my Reader an Account of several extraordinary Clubs both ancient and modern, I did not design to have troubled him with any more Narratives of this Nature; but I have lately received Information of a Club which I can call neither ancient nor modern, that I dare say will be no less surprising to my Reader than it was to my self; for which Reason I shall communicate it to the Publick as one of the greatest Curiosities in its kind.

A Friend of mine complaining of a Tradesman who is related to him, after having represented him as a very idle worthless Fellow, who neglected his Family, and spent most of his Time over a Bottle, told me, to conclude his Character, that he was a Member of the _Everlasting Club_.

So very odd a t.i.tle raised my Curiosity to enquire into the Nature of a Club that had such a sounding Name; upon which my Friend gave me the following Account.

The Everlasting Club consists of a hundred Members, who divide the whole twenty four Hours among them in such a Manner, that the Club sits Day and Night from one end of the Year to [another [1]], no Party presuming to rise till they are relieved by those who are in course to succeed them. By this means a Member of the Everlasting Club never wants Company; for tho' he is not upon Duty himself, he is sure to find some [who [2]] are; so that if he be disposed to take a Whet, a Nooning, an Evening's Draught, or a Bottle after Midnight, he goes to the Club and finds a Knot of Friends to his Mind.

It is a Maxim in this Club That the Steward never dies; for as they succeed one another by way of Rotation, no Man is to quit the great Elbow-chair [which [2]] stands at the upper End of the Table, 'till his Successor is in a Readiness to fill it; insomuch that there has not been a _Sede vacante_ in the Memory of Man.

This Club was inst.i.tuted towards the End (or, as some of them say, about the Middle) of the Civil Wars, and continued without Interruption till the Time of the _Great Fire_, [3] which burnt them out and dispersed them for several Weeks. The Steward at that time maintained his Post till he had like to have been blown up with a neighbouring-House, (which was demolished in order to stop the Fire;) and would not leave the Chair at last, till he had emptied all the Bottles upon the Table, and received repeated Directions from the Club to withdraw himself. This Steward is frequently talked of in the Club, and looked upon by every Member of it as a greater Man, than the famous Captain [mentioned in my Lord _Clarendon_, [who [2]] was burnt in his s.h.i.+p because he would not quit it without Orders. It is said that towards the close of 1700, being the great Year of Jubilee, the Club had it under Consideration whether they should break up or continue their Session; but after many Speeches and Debates it was at length agreed to sit out the other Century. This Resolution pa.s.sed in a general Club _Nemine Contradicente_.

Having given this short Account of the Inst.i.tution and Continuation of the Everlasting Club, I should here endeavour to say something of the Manners and Characters of its several Members, which I shall do according to the best Lights I have received in this Matter.

It appears by their Books in general, that, since their first Inst.i.tution, they have smoked fifty Tun of Tobacco; drank thirty thousand b.u.t.ts of Ale, One thousand Hogsheads of Red Port, Two hundred Barrels of Brandy, and a Kilderkin of small Beer. There has been likewise a great Consumption of Cards. It is also said, that they observe the law in _Ben. Johnson's_ Club, which orders the Fire to be always kept in (_focus perennis esto_) as well for the Convenience of lighting their Pipes, as to cure the Dampness of the Club-Room. They have an old Woman in the nature of a Vestal, whose Business it is to cherish and perpetuate the Fire [which [2]] burns from Generation to Generation, and has seen the Gla.s.s-house Fires in and out above an Hundred Times.

The Everlasting Club treats all other Clubs with an Eye of Contempt, and talks even of the Kit-Cat and October as of a couple of Upstarts. Their ordinary Discourse (as much as I have been able to learn of it) turns altogether upon such Adventures as have pa.s.sed in their own a.s.sembly; of Members who have taken the Gla.s.s in their Turns for a Week together, without stirring out of their Club; of others [who [2]] have smoaked an Hundred Pipes at a Sitting; of others [who [2]] have not missed their Morning's Draught for Twenty Years together: Sometimes they speak in Raptures of a Run of Ale in King Charles's Reign; and sometimes reflect with Astonishment upon Games at Whisk, [which [2]] have been miraculously recovered by Members of the Society, when in all human Probability the Case was desperate.

They delight in several old Catches, which they sing at all Hours to encourage one another to moisten their Clay, and grow immortal by drinking; with many other edifying Exhortations of the like Nature.

There are four general Clubs held in a Year, at which Times they fill up Vacancies, appoint Waiters, confirm the old Fire-Maker or elect a new one, settle Contributions for Coals, Pipes, Tobacco, and other Necessaries.

The Senior Member has out-lived the whole Club twice over, and has been drunk with the Grandfathers of some of the present sitting Members.

C.

[Footnote 1: The other]

[Footnotes 2 (several): that]

[Footnote 3: Of London in 1666.]

No. 73. Thursday, May 24, 1711. Addison.

'... O Dea certe!'

Virg.

It is very strange to consider, that a Creature like Man, who is sensible of so many Weaknesses and Imperfections, should be actuated by a Love of Fame: That Vice and Ignorance, Imperfection and Misery should contend for Praise, and endeavour as much as possible to make themselves Objects of Admiration.

But notwithstanding Man's Essential Perfection is but very little, his Comparative Perfection may be very considerable. If he looks upon himself in an abstracted Light, he has not much to boast of; but if he considers himself with regard to it in others, he may find Occasion of glorying, if not in his own Virtues at least in the Absence of another's Imperfections. This gives a different Turn to the Reflections of the Wise Man and the Fool. The first endeavours to s.h.i.+ne in himself, and the last to outs.h.i.+ne others. The first is humbled by the Sense of his own Infirmities, the last is lifted up by the Discovery of those which he observes in other men. The Wise Man considers what he wants, and the Fool what he abounds in. The Wise Man is happy when he gains his own Approbation, and the Fool when he Recommends himself to the Applause of those about him.

But however unreasonable and absurd this Pa.s.sion for Admiration may appear in such a Creature as Man, it is not wholly to be discouraged; since it often produces very good Effects, not only as it restrains him from doing any thing [which [1]] is mean and contemptible, but as it pushes him to Actions [which [1]] are great and glorious. The Principle may be defective or faulty, but the Consequences it produces are so good, that, for the Benefit of Mankind, it ought not to be extinguished.

It is observed by Cicero,[2]--that men of the greatest and the most s.h.i.+ning Parts are the most actuated by Ambition; and if we look into the two s.e.xes, I believe we shall find this Principle of Action stronger in Women than in Men.

The Pa.s.sion for Praise, which is so very vehement in the Fair s.e.x, produces excellent Effects in Women of Sense, who desire to be admired for that only which deserves Admiration:

And I think we may observe, without a Compliment to them, that many of them do not only live in a more uniform Course of Virtue, but with an infinitely greater Regard to their Honour, than what we find in the Generality of our own s.e.x. How many Instances have we of Chast.i.ty, Fidelity, Devotion? How many Ladies distinguish themselves by the Education of their Children, Care of their Families, and Love of their Husbands, which are the great Qualities and Atchievements of Womankind: As the making of War, the carrying on of Traffic, the Administration of Justice, are those by which Men grow famous, and get themselves a Name.

But as this Pa.s.sion for Admiration, when it works according to Reason, improves the beautiful Part of our Species in every thing that is Laudable; so nothing is more Destructive to them when it is governed by Vanity and Folly. What I have therefore here to say, only regards the vain Part of the s.e.x, whom for certain Reasons, which the Reader will hereafter see at large, I shall distinguish by the Name of _Idols_. An _Idol_ is wholly taken up in the Adorning of her Person. You see in every Posture of her Body, Air of her Face, and Motion of her Head, that it is her Business and Employment to gain Adorers. For this Reason your _Idols_ appear in all publick Places and a.s.semblies, in order to seduce Men to their Wors.h.i.+p. The Play-house is very frequently filled with _Idols_; several of them are carried in Procession every Evening about the Ring, and several of them set up their Wors.h.i.+p even in Churches.

They are to be accosted in the Language proper to the Deity. Life and Death are in their Power: Joys of Heaven and Pains of h.e.l.l are at their Disposal: Paradise is in their Arms, and Eternity in every Moment that you are present with them. Raptures, Transports, and Ecstacies are the Rewards which they confer: Sighs and Tears, Prayers and broken Hearts, are the Offerings which are paid to them. Their Smiles make Men happy; their Frowns drive them to Despair. I shall only add under this Head, that _Ovid's_ Book of the Art of Love is a kind of Heathen Ritual, which contains all the forms of Wors.h.i.+p which are made use of to an _Idol_.

It would be as difficult a Task to reckon up these different kinds of _Idols_, as _Milton's_ was [3] to number those that were known in _Canaan_, and the Lands adjoining. Most of them are wors.h.i.+pped, like _Moloch_, in _Fire and Flames_. Some of them, like _Baal_, love to see their Votaries cut and slashed, and shedding their Blood for them. Some of them, like the _Idol_ in the _Apocrypha_, must have Treats and Collations prepared for them every Night. It has indeed been known, that some of them have been used by their incensed Wors.h.i.+ppers like the _Chinese Idols_, who are Whipped and Scourged when they refuse to comply with the Prayers that are offered to them.

I must here observe, that those Idolaters who devote themselves to the _Idols_ I am here speaking of, differ very much from all other kinds of Idolaters. For as others fall out because they Wors.h.i.+p different _Idols_, these Idolaters quarrel because they Wors.h.i.+p the same.

The Intention therefore of the _Idol_ is quite contrary to the wishes of the Idolater; as the one desires to confine the Idol to himself, the whole Business and Ambition of the other is to multiply Adorers. This Humour of an _Idol_ is prettily described in a Tale of _Chaucer_; He represents one of them sitting at a Table with three of her Votaries about her, who are all of them courting her Favour, and paying their Adorations: She smiled upon one, drank to another, and trod upon the other's Foot which was under the Table. Now which of these three, says the old Bard, do you think was the Favourite? In troth, says he, not one of all the three. [4]

The Behaviour of this old _Idol_ in _Chaucer_, puts me in mind of the Beautiful _Clarinda_, one of the greatest _Idols_ among the Moderns. She is Wors.h.i.+pped once a Week by Candle-light, in the midst of a large Congregation generally called an a.s.sembly. Some of the gayest Youths in the Nation endeavour to plant themselves in her Eye, whilst she sits in form with mult.i.tudes of Tapers burning about her. To encourage the Zeal of her Idolaters, she bestows a Mark of her Favour upon every one of them, before they go out of her Presence. She asks a Question of one, tells a Story to another, glances an Ogle upon a third, takes a Pinch of Snuff from the fourth, lets her Fan drop by accident to give the fifth an Occasion of taking it up. In short, every one goes away satisfied with his Success, and encouraged to renew his Devotions on the same Canonical Hour that Day Sevennight.

An _Idol_ may be Undeified by many accidental Causes. Marriage in particular is a kind of Counter-_Apotheosis_, or a Deification inverted.

When a Man becomes familiar with his G.o.ddess, she quickly sinks into a Woman.

Old Age is likewise a great Decayer of your _Idol_: The Truth of it is, there is not a more unhappy Being than a Superannuated _Idol_, especially when she has contracted such Airs and Behaviour as are only Graceful when her Wors.h.i.+ppers are about her.

Considering therefore that in these and many other Cases the _Woman_ generally outlives the _Idol_, I must return to the Moral of this Paper, and desire my fair Readers to give a proper Direction to their Pa.s.sion for being admired; In order to which, they must endeavour to make themselves the Objects of a reasonable and lasting Admiration. This is not to be hoped for from Beauty, or Dress, or Fas.h.i.+on, but from those inward Ornaments which are not to be defaced by Time or Sickness, and which appear most amiable to those who are most acquainted with them.

C.

[Footnotes 1: that]

[Footnote 2: 'Tuscul. Quaest.' Lib. v. -- 243.]