The Spectator
Chapter 285 : Camilla _to the_ SPECTATOR._Venice, July 10_, N. S._Mr_. SPECTATOR, 'I Take it ex

Camilla _to the_ SPECTATOR.

_Venice, July 10_, N. S.

_Mr_. SPECTATOR,

'I Take it extreamly ill, that you do not reckon conspicuous Persons of your Nation are within your Cognizance, tho' out of the Dominions of Great Britain. I little thought in the green Years of my Life, that I should ever call it an Happiness to be out of dear _England_; but as I grew to Woman, I found my self less acceptable in Proportion to the Encrease of my Merit. Their Ears in _Italy_ are so differently formed from the Make of yours in _England_, that I never come upon the Stage, but a general Satisfaction appears in every Countenance of the whole People. When I dwell upon a Note, I behold all the Men accompanying me with Heads enclining and falling of their Persons on one Side, as dying away with me. The Women too do Justice to my Merit, and no ill-natur'd worthless Creature cries, _The vain Thing_, when I am rapt up in the Performance of my Part, and sensibly touched with the Effect my Voice has upon all who hear me. I live here distinguished as one whom Nature has been liberal to in a graceful Person, an exalted Mein, and Heavenly Voice. These Particularities in this strange Country, are Arguments for Respect and Generosity to her who is possessed of them.

The _Italians_ see a thousand Beauties I am sensible I have no Pretence to, and abundantly make up to me the Injustice I received in my own Country, of disallowing me what I really had. The Humour of Hissing, which you have among you, I do not know any thing of; and their Applauses are uttered in Sighs, and bearing a Part at the Cadences of Voice with the Persons who are performing. I am often put in Mind of those complaisant Lines of my own Countryman, [1] when he is calling all his Faculties together to hear _Arabella_;

'Let all be hush'd, each softest Motion cease, Be ev'ry loud tumultuous Thought at Peace; And ev'ry ruder Gasp of Breath Be calm, as in the Arms of Death: And thou, most fickle, most uneasie Part, Thou restless Wanderer, my Heart, Be still; gently, ah! gently leave, Thou busie, idle Thing, to heave.

Stir not a Pulse: and let my Blood, That turbulent, unruly Flood, Be softly staid; Let me be all but my Attention dead.'

'The whole City of _Venice_ is as still when I am singing, as this Polite Hearer was to Mrs. _Hunt_. But when they break that Silence, did you know the Pleasure I am in, when every Man utters his Applause, by calling me aloud the _Dear Creature_, the _Angel_, the _Venus; What Att.i.tude she moves with!--Hush, she sings again!_ We have no boistrous Wits who dare disturb an Audience, and break the publick Peace meerly to shew they dare. Mr. SPECTATOR, I write this to you thus in Haste, to tell you I am so very much at ease here, that I know nothing but Joy; and I will not return, but leave you in _England_ to hiss all Merit of your own Growth off the Stage. I know, Sir, you were always my Admirer, and therefore I am yours, _CAMILLA_. [2]

P. S. I am ten times better dressed than ever I was in _England_.

_Mr_. SPECTATOR,

'The Project in yours of the 11th Instant, of furthering the Correspondence and Knowledge of that considerable Part of Mankind, the Trading World, cannot but be highly commendable. Good Lectures to young Traders may have very good Effects on their Conduct: but beware you propagate no false Notions of Trade; let none of your Correspondents impose on the World, by putting forth base Methods in a good Light, and glazing them over with improper Terms. I would have no Means of Profit set for Copies to others, but such as are laudable in themselves. Let not Noise be called Industry, nor Impudence Courage.

Let not good Fortune be imposed on the World for good Management, nor Poverty be called Folly; impute not always Bankruptcy to Extravagance, nor an Estate to Foresight; n.i.g.g.ardliness is not good Husbandry, nor Generosity Profusion.

'_Honestus_ is a well-meaning and judicious Trader, hath substantial Goods, and trades with his own Stock; husbands his Money to the best Advantage, without taking all Advantages of the Necessities of his Workmen, or grinding the Face of the Poor. _Fortunatus_ is stocked with Ignorance, and consequently with Self-Opinion; the Quality of his Goods cannot but be suitable to that of his Judgment. _Honestus_ pleases discerning People, and keeps their Custom by good Usage; makes modest Profit by modest Means, to the decent Support of his Family: Whilst _Fortunatus_ bl.u.s.tering always, pushes on, promising much, and performing little, with Obsequiousness offensive to People of Sense; strikes at all, catches much the greater Part; raises a considerable Fortune by Imposition on others, to the Disencouragement and Ruin of those who trade in the same Way.

'I give here but loose Hints, and beg you to be very circ.u.mspect in the Province you have now undertaken: If you perform it successfully, it will be a very great Good; for nothing is more wanting, than that Mechanick Industry were set forth with the Freedom and Greatness of Mind which ought always to accompany a Man of a liberal Education.

_Your humble Servant,_

R. C.

_From my Shop under the_ Royal-Exchange, July 14.

_July_ 24, 1712.

_Mr._ SPECTATOR,

'Notwithstanding the repeated Censures that your Spectatorial Wisdom has pa.s.sed upon People more remarkable for Impudence than Wit, there are yet some remaining, who pa.s.s with the giddy Part of Mankind for sufficient Sharers of the latter, who have nothing but the former Qualification to recommend them. Another timely Animadversion is absolutely necessary; be pleased therefore once for all to let these Gentlemen know, that there is neither Mirth nor Good Humour in hooting a young Fellow out of Countenance; nor that it will ever const.i.tute a Wit, to conclude a tart Piece of Buffoonry with a _what makes you blush?_ Pray please to inform them again, That to speak what they know is shocking, proceeds from ill Nature, and a Sterility of Brain; especially when the Subject will not admit of Raillery, and their Discourse has no Pretension to Satyr but what is in their Design to disoblige. I should be very glad too if you would take Notice, that a daily Repet.i.tion of the same over-bearing Insolence is yet more insupportable, and a Confirmation of very extraordinary Dulness. The sudden Publication of this, may have an Effect upon a notorious Offender of this Kind, whose Reformation would redound very much to the Satisfaction and Quiet of

_Your most humble Servant_,

F.B. [3]

[Footnote 1: William Congreve upon Arabella Hunt.]

[Footnote 2: Mrs. Tofts, see note on p. 85, vol, i. [Footnote 3 of No.

22.]

[Footnote 3: Said to be the initials of Francis Beasniffe.]

No. 444. Wednesday, July 30, 1712. Steele.

['Parturiunt montes.'

Hor. [1]]

It gives me much Despair in the Design of reforming the World by my Speculations, when I find there always arise, from one Generation to another, successive Cheats and Bubbles, as naturally as Beasts of Prey, and those which are to be their Food. There is hardly a Man in the World, one would think, so ignorant, as not to know that the ordinary Quack Doctors, who publish their great Abilities in little brown Billets, distributed to all who pa.s.s by, are to a Man Impostors and Murderers; yet such is the Credulity of the Vulgar, and the Impudence of these Professors, that the Affair still goes on, and new Promises of what was never done before are made every Day. What aggravates the Just is, that even this Promise has been made as long as the Memory of Man can trace it, and yet nothing performed, and yet still prevails. As I was pa.s.sing along to-day, a Paper given into my Hand by a Fellow without a Nose tells us as follows what good News is come to Town, to wit, that there is now a certain Cure for the _French_ Disease, by a Gentleman just come from his Travels.

"In Russel-Court, over-against the Cannon-Ball, at the Surgeon's Arms in Drury-Lane, is lately come from his Travels a Surgeon who has practised Surgery and Physick both by Sea and Land these twenty four Years. He (by the Blessing) cures the Yellow Jaundice, Green Sickness, Scurvy, Dropsy, Surfeits, long Sea Voyages, Campains, and Womens Miscarriages, Lying-Inn, &c. as some People that has been lame these thirty Years can testifie; in short, he cureth all Diseases incident to Men, Women, or Children [2]."

If a Man could be so indolent as to look upon this Havock of the human Species which is made by Vice and Ignorance, it would be a good ridiculous Work to comment upon the Declaration of this accomplished Traveller. There is something unaccountably taking among the Vulgar in those who come from a great Way off. Ignorant People of Quality, as many there are of such, doat excessively this Way; many Instances of which every Man will suggest to himself without my Enumeration of them. The Ignorants of lower Order, who cannot, like the upper Ones, be profuse of their Money to those recommended by coming from a Distance, are no less complaisant than the others, for they venture their Lives from the same Admiration.

_The Doctor is lately come from his Travels_, and has _practised_ both by Sea and Land, and therefore Cures the _Green Sickness, long Sea Voyages, Campains, and Lying-Inn_. Both by Sea and Land!--I will not answer for the Distempers called _Sea Voyages and Campains_; But I dare say, those of Green Sickness and Lying-Inn might be as well taken Care of if the Doctor staid a-sh.o.a.r. But the Art of managing Mankind, is only to make them stare a little, to keep up their Astonishment, to let nothing be familiar to them, but ever to have something in your Sleeve, in which they must think you are deeper than they are. There is an ingenious Fellow, a Barber, of my Acquaintance, who, besides his broken Fiddle and a dryed Sea-Monster, has a Twine-Cord, strained with two Nails at each End, over his Window, and the Words _Rainy, Dry, Wet_, and so forth, written, to denote the Weather according to the Rising or Falling of the Cord. We very great Scholars are not apt to wonder at this: But I observed a very honest Fellow, a chance Customer, who sate in the Chair before me to be shaved, fix his Eye upon this Miraculous Performance during the Operation upon his Chin and Face. When those and his Head also were cleared of all Inc.u.mbrances and Excrescences, he looked at the Fish, then at the Fiddle, still grubling in his Pockets, and casting his Eye again at the Twine, and the Words writ on each Side; then altered his mind as to Farthings, and gave my Friend a Silver Six-pence. The Business, as I said, is to keep up the Amazement; and if my Friend had had only the Skeleton and Kitt, he must have been contented with a less Payment. But the Doctor we were talking of, adds to his long Voyages the Testimony of some People _that has been thirty Years lame._ When I received my Paper, a sagacious Fellow took one at the same time, and read till he came to the Thirty Years Confinement of his Friends, and went off very well convinced of the Doctor's Sufficiency. You have many of these prodigious Persons, who have had some extraordinary Accident at their Birth, or a great Disaster in some Part of their Lives. Any thing, however foreign from the Business the People want of you, will convince them of your Ability in that you profess. There is a Doctor in _Mouse-Alley_ near _Wapping,_ who sets up for curing Cataracts upon the Credit of having, as his Bill sets forth, lost an Eye in the Emperor's Service. His Patients come in upon this, and he shews the Muster-Roll, which confirms that he was in his Imperial Majesty's Troops; and he puts out their Eyes with great Success. Who would believe that a Man should be a Doctor for the Cure of bursten Children, by declaring that his Father and Grandfather were [born [3]]

bursten? But _Charles Ingoltson,_ next Door to the _Harp_ in _Barbican,_ has made a pretty Penny by that a.s.severation. The Generality go upon their first Conception, and think no further; all the rest is granted.

They take it, that there is something uncommon in you, and give you Credit for the rest. You may be sure it is upon that I go, when sometimes, let it be to the Purpose or not, I keep a _Latin_ Sentence in my Front; and I was not a little pleased when I observed one of my Readers say, casting his Eye on my twentieth Paper, _More_ Latin _still?

What a prodigious Scholar is this Man!_ But as I have here taken much Liberty with this learned Doctor, I must make up all I have said by repeating what he seems to be in Earnest in, and honestly promise to those who will not receive him as a great Man; to wit, That from _Eight to Twelve, and from Two till Six, he attends for the good of the Publick to bleed for Three Pence._

T.

[Footnote 1: [--_Dignum tanto feret hic promissor hiatu_.--Hor.]]

[Footnote 2: In the first issue the whole bill was published.

Two-thirds of it, including its more infamous part, was omitted from the reprint, and the reader will, I hope, excuse me the citation of it in this place.