The Spectator
Chapter 294 : [Footnote 1: Probably Tillotson. The thought is expanded in part of his sermon on the

[Footnote 1: Probably Tillotson. The thought is expanded in part of his sermon on the Example of Jesus in doing good. It appears in another form in his sermon for the 5th of November, 1678, where he applies to our religious hatreds the saying that 'the richest and n.o.blest wines make the sharpest vinegar;' again in another form in his sermon at the Yorks.h.i.+re Feast.]

No. 460. Monday, August 18, 1712. [Parnell [1]]

'--Decipimur Specie Recti--'

Hor.

Our defects and Follies are too often unknown to us; nay, they are so far from being known to us, that they pa.s.s for Demonstrations of our Worth. This makes us easy in the midst of them, fond to shew them, fond to improve in them, and to be esteemed for them. Then it is that a thousand unaccountable Conceits, gay Inventions, and extravagant Actions must afford us Pleasures, and display us to others in the Colours which we ourselves take a Fancy to glory in: And indeed there is something so amusing for the time in this State of Vanity and ill-grounded Satisfaction, that even the wiser World has chosen an exalted Word to describe its Enchantments, and called it the _Paradise of Fools_.

Perhaps the latter part of this Reflection may seem a false Thought to some, and bear another Turn than what I have given: but it is at present none of my Business to look after it, who am going to confess that I have been lately amongst them in a Vision.

Methought I was transported to a Hill, green, flowery, and of an easie Ascent. Upon the broad Top of it resided squinteyed _Error_, and popular _Opinion_ with many Heads; two that dealt in Sorcery, and were famous for bewitching People with the Love of themselves. To these repaired a Mult.i.tude from every Side, by two different Paths which lead towards each of them. Some who had the most a.s.suming Air, went directly of themselves to _Errour_, without expecting a Conductor; others of a softer Nature went first to popular _Opinion_, from whence as she influenced and engaged them with their own Praises, she delivered them over to his Government.

When we had ascended to an open Part of the Summit where _Opinion_ abode, we found her entertaining several who had arrived before us. Her Voice was pleasing; she breathed Odours as she spoke: She seemed to have a Tongue for every one; every one thought he heard of something that was valuable in himself, and expected a Paradise, which she promised as the Reward of his Merit. Thus were we drawn to follow her, till she should bring us where it was to be bestowed: And it was observable, that all the Way we went, the Company was either praising themselves for their Qualifications, or one another for those Qualifications which they took to be conspicuous in their own Characters, or dispraising others for wanting theirs, or vying in the Degrees of them.

At last we approached a Bower, at the Entrance of which _Errour_ was seated. The Trees were thick-woven, and the Place where he sat artfully contrived to darken him a little. He was disguised in a whitish Robe, which he had put on, that he might appear to us with a nearer Resemblance to _Truth:_ And as she has a Light whereby she manifests the Beauties of Nature to the Eyes of her Adorers, so he had provided himself with a magical Wand, that he might do something in Imitation of it, and please with Delusions. This he lifted solemnly, and muttering to himself, bid the Glories which he kept under Enchantment to appear before us. Immediately we cast our Eyes on that part of the Sky to which he pointed, and observed a thin blue Prospect, which cleared as Mountains in a Summer Morning when the Mists go off, and the Palace of _Vanity_ appeared to Sight.

The Foundation hardly seemed a Foundation, but a Set of curling Clouds, which it stood upon by magical Contrivance. The Way by which we ascended was painted like a Rainbow; and as we went the Breeze that played about us bewitched the Senses. The Walls were gilded all for Show; the lowest Set of Pillars were of the slight fine _Corinthian_ Order, and the Top of the Building being rounded, bore so far the Resemblance of a Bubble.

At the Gate the Travellers neither met with a Porter, nor waited till one should appear; every one thought his Merits a sufficient Pa.s.sport, and pressed forward. In the Hall we met with several Phantoms, that rov'd amongst us, and rang'd the Company according to their Sentiments.

There was decreasing _Honour_, that had nothing to shew in but an old Coat of his Ancestors Atchievements: There was _Ostentation_, that made himself his own constant Subject, and _Gallantry_ strutting upon his Tiptoes. At the upper End of the Hall stood a Throne, whose Canopy glitter'd with all the Riches that Gayety could contrive to lavish on it; and between the gilded Arms sat _Vanity_, deck'd in the Peac.o.c.k's Feathers, and acknowledged for another _Venus_ by her Votaries. The Boy who stood beside her for a _Cupid_, and who made the World to bow before her, was called _Self-Conceit_. His Eyes had every now and then a Cast inwards to the Neglect of all Objects about him; and the Arms which he made use of for Conquest, were borrowed from those against whom he had a Design. The Arrow which he shot at the Soldier, was fledged from his own Plume of Feathers; the Dart he directed against the Man of Wit, was winged from the Quills he writ with; and that which he sent against those who presumed upon their Riches, was headed with Gold out of their Treasuries: He made Nets for Statesmen from their own Contrivances; he took Fire from the Eyes of Ladies, with which he melted their Hearts; and Lightning from the Tongues of the Eloquent, to enflame them with their own Glories. At the Foot of the Throne sat three false Graces.

_Flattery_ with a Sh.e.l.l of Paint, _Affectation_ with a Mirrour to practise at, and _Fas.h.i.+on_ ever changing the Posture of her Cloaths.

These applied themselves to secure the Conquests which _Self-Conceit_ had gotten, and had each of them their particular Polities. _Flattery_ gave new Colours and Complections to all Things. _Affectation_ new Airs and Appearances, which, as she said, were not vulgar, and _Fas.h.i.+on_ both concealed some home Defects, and added some foreign external Beauties.

As I was reflecting upon what I saw, I heard a Voice in the Crowd, bemoaning the Condition of Mankind, which is thus managed by the Breath of _Opinion_, deluded by _Errour_, fired by _Self-Conceit_, and given up to be trained in all the Courses of _Vanity_, till _Scorn_ or _Poverty_ come upon us. These Expressions were no sooner handed about, but I immediately saw a general Disorder, till at last there was a Parting in one Place, and a grave old Man, decent and resolute, was led forward to be punished for the Words he had uttered. He appeared inclined to have spoken in his own Defence, but I could not observe that any one was willing to hear him. _Vanity_ cast a scornful Smile at him; _Self-Conceit_ was angry; _Flattery_, who knew him for _Plain-dealing_, put on a Vizard, and turned away; _Affectation_ tossed her Fan, made Mouths, and called him _Envy_ or _Slander_; and _Fas.h.i.+on_ would have it, that at least he must be _Ill-Manners_. Thus slighted and despised by all, he was driven out for abusing People of Merit and Figure; and I heard it firmly resolved, that he should be used no better wherever they met with him hereafter.

I had already seen the Meaning of most part of that Warning which he had given, and was considering how the latter Words should be fulfilled, when a mighty Noise was heard without, and the Door was blackned by a numerous Train of Harpies crowding in upon us. _Folly_ and _Broken Credit_ were seen in the House before they entered. _Trouble, Shame, Infamy, Scorn_ and _Poverty_ brought up the Rear. _Vanity_, with her _Cupid_ and _Graces_, disappeared; her Subjects ran into Holes and Corners; but many of them were found and carried off (as I was told by one who stood near me) either to Prisons or Cellars, Solitude, or little Company, the meaner Arts or the viler Crafts of Life. But these, added he with a disdainful Air, are such who would fondly live here, when their Merits neither matched the l.u.s.tre of the Place, nor their Riches its Expences. We have seen such Scenes as these before now; the Glory you saw will all return when the Hurry is over. I thanked him for his Information, and believing him so incorrigible as that he would stay till it was his Turn to be taken, I made off to the Door, and overtook some few, who, though they would not hearken to _Plain-dealing_, were now terrified to good purpose by the Example of others: But when they had touched the Threshold, it was a strange Shock to them to find that the Delusion of _Errour_ was gone, and they plainly discerned the Building to hang a little up in the Air without any real Foundation. At first we saw nothing but a desperate Leap remained for us, and I a thousand times blamed my unmeaning Curiosity that had brought me into so much Danger. But as they began to sink lower in their own Minds, methought the Palace sunk along with us, till they were arrived at the due Point of _Esteem_ which they ought to have for themselves; then the Part of the Building in which they stood touched the Earth, and we departing out, it retired from our Eyes. Now, whether they who stayed in the Palace were sensible of this Descent, I cannot tell; it was then my Opinion that they were not. However it be, my Dream broke up at it, and has given me Occasion all my Life to reflect upon the fatal Consequences of following the Suggestions of _Vanity_.

_Mr_. SPECTATOR,

'I write to you to desire, that you would again touch upon a certain Enormity, which is chiefly in Use among the Politer and better-bred Part of Mankind; I mean the Ceremonies, Bows, Courtsies, Whisperings, Smiles, Winks, Nods, with other familiar Arts of Salutation, which take up in our Churches so much Time, that might be better employed, and which seem so utterly inconsistent with the Duty and true Intent of our entering into those Religious a.s.semblies. The Resemblance which this bears to our indeed proper Behaviour in Theatres, may be some Instance of its Incongruity in the above-mentioned Places. In _Roman_ Catholick Churches and Chappels abroad, I my self have observed, more than once, Persons of the first Quality, of the nearest Relation, and intimatest Acquaintance pa.s.sing by one another unknowing as it were and unknown, and with so little Notices of each other, that it looked like having their Minds more suitably and more solemnly engaged; at least it was an Acknowledgment that they ought to have been so. I have been told the same even of the _Mahometans_, with relation to the Propriety of their Demeanour in the Conventions of their erroneous Wors.h.i.+p: And I cannot but think either of them sufficient and laudable Patterns for our Imitation in this Particular.

'I cannot help upon this Occasion remarking on the excellent Memories of those Devotionists, who upon returning from Church shall give a particular Account how two or three hundred People were dressed; a Thing, by reason of its Variety, so difficult to be digested and fixed in the Head, that 'tis a Miracle to me how two poor Hours of Divine Service can be Time sufficient for so elaborate an undertaking, the Duty of the Place too being jointly and, no doubt, oft pathetically performed along with it. Where it is said in Sacred Wit, that _the Woman ought to have a Covering on her Head, because of the Angels_ [2]

that last Word is by some thought to be metaphorically used, and to signify young Men. Allowing this Interpretation to be right, the Text may not appear to be wholly foreign to our present Purpose.

'When you are in a Disposition proper for writing on such a Subject, I earnestly recommend this to you, and am,

_SIR,_

_Your very humble Servant._

T.

[Footnote 1: Thomas Parnell, the writer of this allegory, was the son of a commonwealthsman, who at the Restoration ceased to live on his hereditary lands at Congleton, in Ches.h.i.+re, and bought an estate in Ireland. Born in 1679, at Dublin, where he became M.A. of Trinity College, in 1700 he was ordained after taking his degree, and in 1705 became Archdeacon of Clogher. At the same time he took a wife, who died in 1711. Parnell had been an a.s.sociate of the chief Whig writers, had taste as a poet, and found pleasure in writing for the papers of the time. When the Whigs went out of power in Queen Anne's reign, Parnell connected himself with the Tories. On the warm recommendation of Swift, he obtained a prebend in 1713, and in May, 1716, a vicarage in the diocese of Dublin, worth 400 a year. He died in July, 1717, aged 38.

Inheriting his father's estates in Ches.h.i.+re and Ireland, Pamell was not in need. Wanting vigour and pa.s.sion, he was neither formidable nor bitter as a political opponent, and in 1712 his old friends, Steele and Addison, were glad of a paper from him; though, with Swift, he had gone over to the other side in politics.]

[Footnote 2: I Corinthians xi. 10.]

No. 461. Tuesday, August 19, 1712. Steele

'--Non Ego credulus illis--'

Virg.

For want of Time to subst.i.tute something else in the Room of them, I am at present obliged to publish Compliments above my Desert in the following Letters. It is no small Satisfaction, to have given Occasion to ingenious Men to employ their Thoughts upon sacred Subjects, from the Approbation of such Pieces of Poetry as they have seen in my _Sat.u.r.day's_ Papers. I shall never publish Verse on that Day but what is written by the same Hand; yet shall I not accompany those Writings with _Eulogiums,_ but leave them to speak for themselves.

_For the_ SPECTATOR.

_Mr_. SPECTATOR,

'You very much promote the Interests of Virtue, while you reform the Taste of a Prophane Age, and persuade us to be entertained with Divine Poems, while we are distinguished by so many thousand Humours, and split into so many different Sects and Parties; yet Persons of every Party, Sect, and Humour are fond of conforming their Taste to yours.

You can transfuse your own Relish of a Poem into all your Readers, according to their Capacity to receive; and when you recommend the pious Pa.s.sion that reigns in the Verse, we seem to feel the Devotion, and grow proud and pleas'd inwardly, that we have Souls capable of relis.h.i.+ng what the SPECTATOR approves.

'Upon reading the Hymns that you have published in some late Papers, I had a Mind to try Yesterday whether I could write one. The 114th _Psalm_ appears to me an admirable Ode, and I began to turn it into our Language. As I was describing the Journey of _Israel_ from _Egypt_, and added the Divine Presence amongst them, I perceived a Beauty in the _Psalm_ which was entirely new to me, and which I was going to lose; and that is, that the Poet utterly conceals the Presence of G.o.d in the Beginning of it, and rather lets a Possessive p.r.o.noun go without a Substantive, than he will so much as mention any thing of Divinity there. _Judah was his Sanctuary, and_ Israel _his Dominion or Kingdom_. The Reason now seems evident, and this Conduct necessary: For if G.o.d had appeared before, there could be no wonder why the Mountains should leap and the Sea retire; therefore that this Convulsion of Nature may be brought in with due Surprise, his Name is not mentioned till afterward, and then with a very agreeable Turn of Thought G.o.d is introduced at once in all his Majesty. This is what I have attempted to imitate in a Translation without Paraphrase, and to preserve what I could of the Spirit of the sacred Author.

'If the following Essay be not too incorrigible, bestow upon it a few Brightnings from your Genius, that I may learn how to write better, or to write no more.