Annie's Song
Chapter 19 : Personal? It was definitely not a subject men usually broached to young ladies. The tri

Personal? It was definitely not a subject men usually broached to young ladies. The trick, he decided, would be to give her an adequate explanation without becoming too explicit. Simple terms, that was his aim.

"You understand that there's a baby inside you. Correct?"

She nodded.

So far, so good. Acutely aware that Maddy was watching with a smug look on her face, Alex tapped his fingertips on the tabletop. "Mothers," he said softly, "have a special place inside them made just for babies. That's where their babies stay and grow until they're ready to be born, in that special place. Do you understand?"

Again, Annie nodded. Alex wanted to look anywhere but into her eyes. He saw so many questions there, and so much innocence. If he said the wrong thing-just one wrong word-he could send her into a panic and make this pregnancy one of dread for her.

"Good. I'm glad you understand." He tapped his fingers a little more sharply against the wood. "Anyway, when your baby is finally ready to be born," he went on, "the special place inside of you will open up and the baby will come out."

At her look of bewilderment, he quickly added, "It's a very wonderful thing, the birth of a baby! Everyone will be really happy, and we-" He broke off and threw a helpless look at Maddy. "We'll probably have a big party to celebrate. Won't we, Maddy?"

"A party." Maddy pumped her chin up and down. "We'll have a s.h.i.+ndig such as ye never saw, to be sure. A grand day, it'll be. A grand day!"

Annie's cheeks flushed with pleasure, and her face went radiant with a sweet smile. Convinced that he had said just enough to clear up her misconceptions without adding to them, Alex was about to heave a sigh of profound relief when she frowned slightly, poked a finger into her bellyb.u.t.ton, and arched inquisitive brows at him.

Rat-a-tat-tat. Rat-a-tat-tat, his fingers went on the tabletop, his gaze riveted to her navel. He greatly feared that if she didn't stop drilling her finger so deeply into the depression, she might do herself an injury. d.a.m.n. Thinking back to his childhood, Alex could distinctly recall his own youthful misconceptions about the birth process, namely his belief that the baby inside his stepmother's protruding belly would make its exit through her navel. At the time, it had seemed a perfectly reasonable explanation to him, and to this day, he could remember how shocked he had been when an older boy had told him differently.

"Not there, Annie," he hastened to explain in a gravelly voice. "The baby doesn't come out there."

She ceased poking her navel and fastened a perplexed gaze on his, clearly awaiting further explanation. Rat-a-tat-tat.

Trying to think of a suitable way he might explain-or, for that matter, any way that he might explain without terrifying her-Alex swallowed a lump in his throat that felt as big as a rubber ball. Then, keeping his expression carefully blank, he pushed up from the table, brushed past Maddy, and descended on Annie's bed.

"Now what are ye about?" Maddy demanded.

Alex's only response was to gently lift one of Annie's blankets and give it a careful shake.

Alex spent the remainder of the morning closeted in his study. After making arrangements for the attic to be cleaned, he dispatched two messages, one to Dr. Daniel Muir requesting that he pay a house call to Montgomery Hall posthaste, another to Hooperville's one and only dressmaker, Pamela Grimes, saying that he wished to have his wife fitted for a new wardrobe.

Only after those three details were taken care of could Alex settle down to what he truly wanted to do, which was to pore over the Montgomery Ward & Company catalog for things he might buy Annie. Ear horns were at the top of his list. The company carried three styles, a trumpet-type contraption that came in three graduating sizes, a carryable horn in a convenient pocket size, and a conversation tube, one end of which sported a mouthpiece for the speaker, the other a listening device to fit into the deaf person's ear. Uncertain which type might work the best, Alex ordered a dozen of each style and size, determined that Annie would have at least one effective hearing aid in every room of his house. Other people had their ears with them wherever they went, he reasoned, and so should she.

The cost of so many ear trumpets was substantial, and Alex had always prided himself on being a frugal man. When it came to Annie, however, money was the least of his concerns.

She had been given so little in her young life, and he had it in his power to change that. The way he saw it, he had been working his a.s.s off all his life. And for what? So he might spoil his brother? Now, for the first time, Alex had someone in his life who truly had needs. He wanted to fulfill every single one of them.

Every time he remembered her parlor in the attic, his guts knotted. From this day on, he was making it his priority to turn the girl's fantasies into realities. Beautiful clothes. Delicate china. Music ...

Remembering her enchantment with his old flute, Alex flipped to the musical section of the catalog. Before he was finished, he had ordered her a six-octave Windsor organ, a rosewood concertina with leather-bound bellows, a harmonica, a kazoo, a set of three-octave orchestra bells, a French horn, and a rack of musical sleigh bells.

From the music section he went to the toy section and ordered a toy zither, a game of Hopity, a parlor tennis set, a Ding Dong Bell game, tiddledywinks, a combination set of board games, including fish pond, checkers, and dominoes.

After tallying the amount of his order, Alex went from his desk to the liquor cabinet. Even as he poured himself a snifter of brandy, however, he knew he was more than happy to spend the money on her. In fact, he couldn't recall having had so much fun in a very long while. One smile from Annie-just one-would more than make up for the expenditure.

Shortly after lunch, Dr. Muir arrived. Once Alex had explained that he wanted Annie carefully examined and why, the two men went upstairs to the nursery. At first, Alex feared that, despite his earlier explanations to Annie, she might be frightened by the good doctor's unwanted attentions, but he soon realized that he had sorely underestimated Daniel's abilities. As he might have with a timid child, the doctor made the process seem more like a game than a medical examination.

To get a peek into Annie's ears, he first did a magic trick, pretending to pluck a piece of candy from her ear and feigning astonishment. Annie, of course, was astonished as well, and before Alex knew it, she was allowing Muir to insert an instrument into her ear ca.n.a.l, presumably to see if more pieces of candy were rattling about inside her head. Annie seemed to think it was all great fun. Alex, who stood off to one side, couldn't help but laugh at the amazed expressions that crossed her small face.

His urge to laugh faded abruptly when Daniel's examination of Annie moved from her ears to her torso. Here, he felt sure, the physician would find himself with a panicked young woman on his hands, and Alex was dreading the moment that he would be called upon to help subdue her. But, again, Daniel surprised him. Continuing to use sleight of hand, Muir plucked candy from the neckline of Annie's frock, from its sleeves, from under the hem. Before Alex knew it, the doctor had palpitated his wife's b.r.e.a.s.t.s and abdomen, evidently to his satisfaction, and had listened to her heart. In the end, Annie had a sizable collection of hard candy lying on the table, which Dr. Muir allowed her to keep.

On their way back downstairs, the physician related his findings to Alex. "As far as the immediate concerns go, her pregnancy seems to be progressing normally," he said.

"Without doing a pelvic examination, I'm unable to be absolutely certain of that, but at this point, I believe a closer look would do the girl more harm than good."

Alex expressed his complete agreement with that and told the doctor of Annie's revelation to him and Maddy that morning.

"An egg?" Muir chuckled and shook his head as they entered Alex's study. "Ah, well, I can't see as how letting her continue to believe that will hurt. At least she has the general idea and understands that there is a baby growing inside her."

Alex felt a flush creeping up his neck. "She may be a little disappointed when it's born, minus the booties and bonnet."

He described the picture he'd drawn for Annie to explain her pregnancy to her. "At the time, not realizing she could read lips, it was the only way I could think of to get my point across."

"It worked. That's all that matters." Muir deposited his satchel on the floor at his feet and sat down in one of the comfortable leather chairs positioned before the hearth.

"You're correct in your diagnosis, by the way. The girl is deaf.

It's only my guess, mind you, but judging by the scar tissue, I would wager that the fever that robbed her of her hearing was probably caused by a very severe ear infection."

"Which went untreated," Alex said bitterly, unable to hide the resentment he felt toward the Trimbles.

"True," Muir conceded, "but there's nothing to say I could have prevented the hearing loss, even if I'd treated her."

"They might have at least given you the opportunity to try."

Daniel sighed. "In all fairness to Edie, Alex, chronic ear problems aren't always easily detected by parents. I've seen cases where a child's ears were so bad that they were bleeding, and the frantic mother and father still hadn't a clue what was wrong. The child may be cranky, feverish, nauseated, yet manifest no sign of earache. One little boy I once treated was congested and had had a serious cough for days. In the mornings, when his mother found pus and blood on his pillow, she mistakenly believed that it was coming up from his lungs.

She was terrified he had consumption."

"In other words, I shouldn't hold Annie's parents accountable?"

Muir pursed his lips and gazed sightlessly into the firebox for a moment. "For many things, yes, but not for the deafness.

If Annie's middle ears were abscessed, which I believe they may have been, she could have run a raging fever until they broke and drained, which could have occurred in a matter of hours after the onset of the fever. Afterward, she may have seemed to be on the mend, and her mother may have believed she was fine. Kids get sick. Quite often, they run high fevers over the least little thing. A mother does her best, but she isn't infallible. Neither am I, for that matter."

Remembering Annie as he'd found her in the attic, Alex found it difficult to let go of his anger toward the Trimbles quite that easily.

"Would you mind my giving you just a bit of advice?" the doctor asked.

Alex smiled slightly. "Not at all. That's why I sent for you."

"Look forward," Daniel said softly. "For years, I've had to watch that girl live half a life. Now you have a chance to give her so much more. Concentrate on that, not on the Trimbles and the dozens of ways in which they have failed. You can't go back and undo all the injustices Annie has suffered. But you can try to make up for them. The girl can receive help now.

Think of it that way."

"It's my hope to give her as normal a life as possible," Alex mused aloud. The admission turned his thoughts to other matters. Sitting straighter in his chair and clearing his throat, he said, "In regard to that..." He met the doctor's questioning gaze. "If things work out well between Annie and me, and I've every reason to hope, will it be harmful to her or the baby if-"

Alex gestured vaguely. "I've heard it both ways, that it's okay for pregnant women to have marital relations and that it's not."

Pressing his hands to his knees and pus.h.i.+ng to his feet, Daniel chuckled. "Trust me, Alex, you'll do no harm." He gave him a rakish wink. "Just take care not to dislodge the infant's booties. Annie may be a trifle upset if it's born missing a sock."

Alex grinned. "I'll bear that in mind."

"I'd appreciate it. After all that candy I just plucked from her various orifices, she may expect me to go bootie hunting."

Sixteen.

Over the next two weeks, Alex found it incredibly easy to follow doctor's orders and concentrate on Annie. As if he had a choice. From the time he opened his eyes each morning until he closed them at night, she was all he thought about. Other things he might buy her. Activities she might enjoy. About how her eyes lighted up when she smiled. He even began to contemplate building her a cage for her d.a.m.nable pet mice.

Annie ... For the first time in his adult life, Alex had someone deserving to care about, someone who mattered to him more than his work. He quickly came to realize just how lonely and utterly meaningless his life had been before now.

He found himself spending less and less time at the rock quarry and the stables. After lunch each day, he closeted himself in his study with books that Dr. Muir had acquired for him. For three hours, without fail, he pored over the pages, trying to memorize the manual alphabet and learn how to speak sign language. Then he spent a half hour speaking to his reflection in a hand mirror to practice lipreading. At precisely three-thirty each afternoon, he abandoned those pursuits to spend the rest of the afternoon and evening with his wife.

In the beginning, Annie seemed none too pleased to be blessed with his company, but after several days, she seemed to accept, if not to enjoy, his presence. If she was in the attic, he followed her there. If she was downstairs with Maddy, he spirited her away outdoors for long walks. In the evenings, he insisted that she join him at the supper table, where he made her pour tea, pa.s.s serving dishes, and practice good table manners. After the meal was finished, they adjourned to his study, where he taught her how to play simple games, such as jacks and checkers, both of which required a minimum of verbal communication.

During that time, the dressmaker came to take Annie's measurements, and Alex ordered an entire new wardrobe for his wife, from the skin out. For a substantial bonus, Mrs.

Grimes agreed to hire extra help so she could deliver at least three of the dresses within a week. Alex could scarcely wait to see Annie's eyes when she first saw the clothing. Though he'd had to choose styles with her steadily increasing waistline in mind, he felt sure she would be thrilled. No more moldy dresses spirited from dusty trunks in the attic. From now on, she would have beautiful gowns of her very own.

Madness ... Alex seriously began to wonder if he wasn't losing his mind. He was falling in love, wildly in love, with a child-woman who believed the baby growing inside her wore a ruffled bonnet. The carnal bent of his thoughts was indecent, he felt sure, but when he looked into Annie's eyes, he wondered how anything that felt so right could possibly be wrong.

As luck would have it, Edie Trimble finally gathered the courage to come calling on the same afternoon that Mrs.

Grimes arrived with the first finished garments of Annie's new wardrobe. Alex, who had been left to cool his heels outside the nursery door while Annie tried on the dresses, heard Frederick speaking to someone in the hall and went to the landing to see who was there. When he saw Edie, he nearly ordered her out of his house. Only the anguish he saw on the woman's face prevented him from doing exactly that.

"Mrs. Trimble," he said coldly. "I'm surprised to see you here."

Leaning her head back to meet his gaze, Edie wrung her hands, clearly afraid he would invite her to leave before she had a chance to say her piece. "I know you despise me, and perhaps with good reason, Mr. Montgomery. But, please, I'm begging you, let me see my daughter. I won't stay long. I swear it. And I won't do anything to upset her. But, please, let me see her?''

Alex curled his hands into fists over the banister rail, wanting nothing more than to tell the woman to go. But in the end, the pain in her eyes swayed him. Maybe Dr. Muir was right. Bitterness toward the Trimbles, no matter how well deserved, would only cast a pall over Annie's future. She loved her parents, he felt certain, despite their many faults, and she would probably be delighted to see them. He had no right to deny her that. Edie Trimble was and always would be the girl's mother, even though she had failed, more times than not, to behave like one.

"Right now, she's trying on new dresses," Alex finally said.

"Come on up. Maybe you can be of a.s.sistance in choosing appropriate accessories. The dressmaker brought quite a nice selection with her."

Edie pressed a hand to her throat and closed her eyes, clearly overcome with relief. For a moment, Alex thought she might disintegrate into tears where she stood. But she finally managed to regain control. After handing her cloak to Frederick, she lifted her skirt and ascended the stairs. When she reached Alex on the landing, she met his gaze squarely.

"Thank you," she said shakily. "I know you'd much rather that I never see my little girl again and if you're correct about the deafness, I don't suppose that I can blame you."

"I'm absolutely correct," Alex couldn't resist saying. "I've had her examined. Dr. Muir concurs with my diagnosis completely."

Tears welled in Edie's eyes, and her mouth began to quiver.

"Deaf," she whispered. "All these years, and she was only deaf? G.o.d forgive me."

It was those last three words, spoken with such heartrending regret, that softened Alex. For totally different reasons, he had felt much the same way himself a few times over the years because of Douglas. "We all make mistakes, Edie," he said huskily. "Some worse than others, but the bottom line is that we can only do our best. Given the fact that Annie can register certain pitches of sound, I'm willing to concede that it may have appeared to you that she could hear. You acted out of ignorance, and in doing so, you made some grave errors. Let's leave it at that and move forward from here. Shall we?''

She gave a tearful nod and wiped her cheeks with tremulous fingers, making a visible effort to gather her composure. Alex waited until she had calmed down before he showed her to the nursery. Mrs. Grimes called out to him when she glimpsed him outside the door.

"Do come in, Mr. Montgomery, and tell us what you think."

Alex pushed the door farther open and preceded Edie into the room. The sight that greeted him brought him to a dead stop. Annie ... only not the Annie he had come to know.

Maddy and the dressmaker had combined their respective talents, finis.h.i.+ng off her outfit with complementary accessories and styling her hair. The tousled child had disappeared. A lovely young woman had taken her place.

She stood in the center of the room, a vision in sapphire-blue.

Her gown had a fitted bodice, just as Alex had specified, with a softly gathered skirt that fell gracefully from just beneath her b.r.e.a.s.t.s to the floor. Lace of a darker shade of blue edged the low scoop neckline, enough to draw the eye to her face, but not so much as to overwhelm her delicate features. Her large, luminous eyes clung to his, silently seeking his approval.

"Oh, Annie," Alex said softly. "You look absolutely beautiful."

A blush flooded to her face, flagging her cheeks with two bright spots of color. Alex gave her a slow grin, then motioned with his hand for her to turn in a complete circle. Catching the skirt to hold it wide, she turned on one toe, craning her neck so she might watch his reaction. It surprised and pleased Alex that she cared so much about what he thought. That told him more than she could know, and undoubtedly far more than she might wish-namely that his deepening feelings toward her weren't completely unreciprocated. He took more pleasure from that discovery than he did from the transformation the clothing had wrought.

Edie, who until that moment had lingered in the hall, finally entered the room. Upon seeing her daughter, she halted abruptly and stood there in frozen silence.

A joyous expression swept across Annie's face. Clearly eager to embrace her mother, she started forward, but before she could take more than a few steps, Edie clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle a sob, then whirled and fled from the room. The stricken expression that crossed Annie's face nearly broke Alex's heart.

"Annie love, she's crying because she's happy," Alex a.s.sured her. Closing the distance between them, he cupped her chin in his hand, determined that this moment was not going to be ruined for her. Forcing her gaze from the door to him, he looked deeply into her eyes. "She didn't know, sweetheart. She never knew that you were deaf. Seeing you like this makes her feel sad because she knows you should have had pretty dresses all along. Do you understand? She feels guilty. In a few minutes, she'll come back, and the two of you can have a lovely visit."

Tears filled her beautiful eyes. Alex gave her a confident smile. "I'll go get her, all right? Meanwhile, you put on another dress so we can see how beautiful you look in it when we come back."

Chin atremble, she gave a halfhearted nod. Alex shot a meaningful glance at Maddy, then quit the room. He found Edie downstairs in the hall, clinging to her cloak, which hung from the coat tree, her face buried in its black folds.

"G.o.d d.a.m.n you," Alex ground out at her shaking back. "For once, just once, can't you put that girl before yourself? This is the very first time in her entire life that she's been given some beautiful clothes-something other girls take for granted, I might add-and you have to ruin the moment for her?"

Edie hunched her shoulders, sobbing wildly. Between ragged breaths, she managed to cry, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry!

Seeing h-her like that. Oh, dear G.o.d, what have I done? My little girl... What have I done?"

Alex hauled in a deep breath, fighting to control his anger, acutely conscious and deeply grateful, for once, that Annie couldn't hear. "Mrs. Trimble, I realize that this must be difficult for you, but this is not the time to purge yourself. That girl is standing up there in the first pretty new gown she's ever owned and tears are streaming down her cheeks. Get a hold of yourself."

"You d-don't underst-stand," she cried. "I thought-oh, G.o.d, I thought she had inherited Uncle Maxwell's madness.

All these years! All the w-wasted years!"

Alex sighed, partly in exasperation, partly in sympathy.

Taking the woman's arm, he guided her to his study, where she might at least weep in private. She sank weakly onto a chair, her face pressed to her knees. After a few minutes, when she had sobbed herself dry, she began to speak in a hushed, tremulous voice.

"I truly believed she was mad," she told him.

"I know you did," Alex admitted, sitting on the arm of her chair so he might place a hand on her shoulder. "I realized it from the first. Why you thought that, I'm not sure, but I believe you honestly did."