The Works of Charles and Mary Lamb
Chapter 431 : 'Tis a Book kept by modern Young Ladies for show, Of which their plain grandmothe

'Tis a Book kept by modern Young Ladies for show, Of which their plain grandmothers nothing did know.

'Tis a medley of sc.r.a.ps, fine verse, and fine prose, And some things not very like either, G.o.d knows.

The soft First Effusions of Beaux and of Belles, Of future Lord Byrons and sweet L.E.L.'s.

L.E.L. was, of course, the unhappy Let.i.tia Landon, a famous contributor to the published alb.u.ms.

"My tragi comedy." Still "The Wife's Trial." Kemble was Charles Kemble, manager of Covent Garden Theatre. The play was never acted.

"Your refusal to lend your poetical sanction." This is not clear, but I think the meaning to be deducible. The Icon was Pulham's etching of Lamb. Evans was William Evans, who had grangerised Byron's _English Bards and Scotch Reviewers_. I take it that he was now making another collection of portraits of poets and was asking other poets, their friends, to write verses upon them. In this way he had applied through Lamb to Barton for verses on Pulham's Elia, and had been refused. This is, of course, only conjecture.

"Your Drummonds"--your bankers. Barton's bankers were the Alexanders, a Quaker firm.

"James Naylor." Barton had paraphrased Nayler's "Testimony."

Following this letter, under the date August 29, 1827, should come a letter from Lamb to Robert Jameson (husband of Mrs. Jameson) asking him to interest himself in Miss Isola's career. "Our friend Coleridge will bear witness to the very excellent manner in which she read to him some of the most difficult pa.s.sages in the Paradise Lost."]

LETTER 426

CHARLES LAMB TO P.G. PATMORE

Mrs. Leishman's, Chace, Enfield,

September, 1827.

Dear Patmore--Excuse my anxiety--but how is Dash? (I should have asked if Mrs. Patmore kept her rules, and was improving--but Dash came uppermost. The order of our thoughts should be the order of our writing.) Goes he muzzled, or _aperto ore_? Are his intellects sound, or does he wander a little in _his_ conversation? You cannot be too careful to watch the first symptoms of incoherence. The first illogical snarl he makes, to St. Luke's with him! All the dogs here are going mad, if you believe the overseers; but I protest they seem to me very rational and collected. But nothing is so deceitful as mad people to those who are not used to them. Try him with hot water. If he won't lick it up, it is a sign he does not like it. Does his tail wag horizontally or perpendicularly? That has decided the fate of many dogs in Enfield. Is his general deportment cheerful? I mean when he is pleased--for otherwise there is no judging. You can't be too careful. Has he bit any of the children yet? If he has, have them shot, and keep _him_ for curiosity, to see if it was the hydrophobia. They say all our army in India had it at one time--but that was in _Hyder_-Ally's time. Do you get paunch for him? Take care the sheep was sane. You might pull out his teeth (if he would let you), and then you need not mind if he were as mad as a Bedlamite. It would be rather fun to see his odd ways. It might amuse Mrs. Patmore and the children. They'd have more sense than he!

He'd be like a Fool kept in the family, to keep the household in good humour with their own understanding. You might teach him the mad dance set to the mad howl. _Madge Owl-et_ would be nothing to him. "My, how he capers!" [_In the margin is written_:] One of the children speaks this.

[_Three lines here are erased_.] What I scratch out is a German quotation from Lessing on the bite of rabid animals; but, I remember, you don't read German. But Mrs. Patmore may, so I wish I had let it stand. The meaning in English is--"Avoid to approach an animal suspected of madness, as you would avoid fire or a precipice:--" which I think is a sensible observation. The Germans are certainly profounder than we.

If the slightest suspicion arises in your breast, that all is not right with him (Dash), muzzle him, and lead him in a string (common pack-thread will do; he don't care for twist) to Hood's, his quondam master, and he'll take him in at any time. You may mention your suspicion or not, as you like, or as you think it may wound or not Mr.

H.'s feelings. Hood, I know, will wink at a few follies in Dash, in consideration of his former sense. Besides, Hood is deaf, and if you hinted anything, ten to one he would not hear you. Besides, you will have discharged your conscience, and laid the child at the right door, as they say.

We are dawdling our time away very idly and pleasantly, at a Mrs.

Leishman's, Chace, Enfield, where, if you come a-hunting, we can give you cold meat and a tankard. Her husband is a tailor; but that, you know, does not make her one. I knew a jailor (which rhymes), but his wife was a fine lady.

Let us hear from you respecting Mrs. Patmore's regimen. I send my love in a ------ to Dash. C. LAMB.

[_On the outside of the letter was written_:--]

Seriously, I wish you would call upon Hood when you are that way. He's a capital fellow. I sent him a couple of poems --one ordered by his wife, and written to order; and 'tis a week since, and I've not heard from him. I fear something is the matter.

_Omitted within_

Our kindest remembrance to Mrs. P.

[This is from Patmore's _My Friends and Acquaintances_, 1854; but again I have no confidence in Patmore's transcription.

Dash had been Hood's dog, and afterwards was Lamb's; while at one time Moxon seems to have had the care of it. Patmore possibly was taking Dash while the Lambs were at Mrs. Leishman's. One of the children who might be amused by the dog's mad ways was Coventry Patmore, afterwards the poet, then nearly four years old.]

LETTER 427

CHARLES LAMB TO JOHN BATES DIBDIN

[P.M. September 5, 1827.]

Dear Dib,--Emma Isola, who is with us, has opened an ALb.u.m: bring some verses with you for it on Sat'y evening. Any _fun_ will do. I am teaching her Latin; you may make something of that. Don't be modest. For in it you shall appear, if I rummage out some of your old pleasant letters for rhymes. But an original is better.

Has your pa[1] any sc.r.a.p? C.L.

We shall be MOST glad to see your sister or sisters with you. Can't you contrive it? Write in that case.

[Footnote 1: the infantile word for father.]

[On the blank pages inside the letter Dibdin seems to have jotted down ideas for his contribution to the alb.u.m. Unfortunately, as I have said, the alb.u.m is not forthcoming.]

LETTER 428

CHARLES LAMB TO JOHN BATES DIBDIN

[P.M. September 13, 1827.]

Dear _John_--Your verses are very pleasant, and have been adopted into the splendid Emmatic constellation, where they are not of the least magnitude. She is delighted with their merit and readiness. They are just the thing. The 14th line is found. We advertised it. h.e.l.l is cooling for want of company. We shall make it up along with our kitchen fire to roast you into our new House, where I hope you will find us in a few Sundays. We have actually taken it, and a compact thing it will be.

Kemble does not return till the month's end. My heart sometimes is good, sometimes bad, about it, as the day turns out wet or walky.

Emma has just died, choak'd with a Gerund in dum. On opening her we found a Participle in rus in the pericordium. The king never dies, which may be the reason that it always REIGNS here.

We join in loves. C.L. his orthograph.

what a pen!

the Umberella is c.u.m bak.

LETTER 429

CHARLES LAMB TO JOHN BATES DIBDIN

[P.M. September 18, 1827.]