The Silly Alchemist
The Silly Alchemist - Chapter 1: Will

Translated by imakeussmile

My name is Ye Lang, a very ordinary member of society, who also has a very ordinary family and has lived a very ordinary life. If no accident had happened, I would have probably been able to marry a very ordinary woman, who it would have been very easy to provide for. In fact, there is also a very important point, which is that my woman must be easy to satisfy and does not demand many luxuries. Of course, sometimes I would still provide a bit of luxury, to give her a little surprise.

Following that, I would have continued to live my life as an ordinary person, my wife would have given birth to a child, and then I would start to groom my child into someone who would make something great out of himself. While I, like every other ordinary parent would have hoped their child would succeed in life.

In such a life, maybe there would be one or two extraordinary events, but to sum it all up, I would have precisely have been an ordinary person, who would have lived a very ordinary life.

However, I myself feel that this type of life isn’t that bad and maybe, it could be because I am just an ordinary person. Nonetheless, an unexpected accident had descended upon an ordinary person like myself, and my heart which was originally ordinary, was not able to withstand it at all.

On that day, I was suddenly prompted by a sudden impulse to go and donate blood. Of which the end result was that someone found that there was a problem with my blood, so I went to the hospital to get a detailed check-up. At that time when I was looking at the laboratory test results, I was not sure how to describe my feelings, perhaps it was because my brain was simply drawing a blank.

What was the disease called? I can’t remember. All I knew was that the name of the disease was very long and it was a very rarely seen disease, that resided in the blood of only around one thousand people in the world. This type of disease should have absolutely not been something that an ordinary person like me should have gotten. An ordinary person like me should instead have caught some ordinary small diseases like a cold or a fever.

God, you have truly thought too highly of me.

Catching this kind of disease did not mean that one would immediately die. When the disease does not get triggered, one would simply be the same as an ordinary person. It’s just that, once the disease is triggered, one’s life would be in immediate danger and due to the fact that this disease is very rare, there was very little in the way of treating it, furthermore, the medical fees alone were not something an ordinary person, like me, would ever be able to bear.

Leaving all that aside, would my parents be able to bear this kind of news?

Thus, I made a decision to change myself and let others feel that I had a mind that wanted to roam around the world.

At that time, I started thinking, if I am able to travel all around the world during the few years I have left to live, it might actually be a wonderful thing.

…

Three years later, I think? It should be three years I presume, even I don’t know exactly how many years had passed between finding out and now. During this time, I was prompted by a sudden impulse again and this time I bought tools that were needed to survive in the wild alone. I traveled deep into a nearby mountain region, which had no sign of human habitation at all.

Though, both unfortunate and fortunate, I slipped and fell from a cliff.

It was naturally unfortunate that I slipped and fell down the cliff, what was fortunate was that there was a deep pond below the cliff from which I fell. But what was still unfortunate was that, below this cliff there was also a valley and it was a valley with no exit at all.

Luckily, there was still a fortunate event that followed and it was that, within this valley, there was actually a martial arts treasury. That’s right, you didn’t hear me wrong and I also didn’t say it wrong, it was indeed a martial arts treasury.

This martial arts treasury could be said to be all-inclusive. Not only were there secret martial arts books, there were also many other types of books and items, such as: traditional Chinese medicinal teachings, mechanic studies, weapon makings and so on. Any technique or skill which you ever thought of or that was ever mentioned in a wuxia novel, everything could be found here.

Another thing, I felt that the person who left behind this martial arts treasury was definitely an outstanding educationalist, because there was an introduction book which had a very detailed knowledge base for each and every martial arts techniques and skills here.

Thus, even if I was an ordinary person who did not understand a single thing about martial arts or traditional Chinese medicine, I could slowly learn the basics from which I would be able to gain a greater understanding of such martial arts and traditional Chinese medicine, I would slowly be able to become more proficient in it, learning with no obstacles at all.

Of course, at first I also didn’t believe that all these things were real and felt rather that it was a prank that someone made up. But being someone who was suffering from a terminal illness, I of course tried curing myself with the same idea of curing a dead horse while treating it as a living horse and maybe perhaps this way I would be able to find a true cure. Thus, I started cultivating qi gong and learning things like acupuncture and moxibustion (Ed. burning of moxa on or near a person’s skin as a counterirritant. What he means with the metaphor is: He’s doomed anyway, he might as well try).

After all of this happened, I was completely engrossed with cultivating. Not knowing how much time had passed or how many years had gone by, I finally finished learning half of the content in the martial arts treasury.

Yep, I am just an ordinary person, so of course I did not learn the things which I lacked an interest in and only learned the techniques and skills which would be able to let me act cool and flashy. So that after I leave this valley, I would be able to show off in society.

Sigh, if only the meteor didn’t suddenly appear in the sky, and accurately and precisely smashed on me, I believe that I, myself who is now unequalled under the heavens, would have had a very wonderful future. Want money, get money; want women, get women. In any case, no matter what I want, I could easily get it.

You all want to know, if I am actually cured from my disease? About this, I am not really sure, since I would need to go to the hospital to get examined to confirm. But in any case, during these few years I didn’t drop dead and according to my pulse, I am definitely a strong and healthy male.

Up to here, my last words are also more or less finished.

Lastly, I would just like to say, big brother, take good care of our parents and also of seventh uncle and grandfather. Your little brother is about to go to another world.

My last and final words that I would still like to say, is that, if heaven would let me live one more time, I would definitely not learn Wang Chong Yang shouting phrases like, ‘I am unequalled under the heavens!’. This is seriously just too fucking unlucky. Just after finishing closed-door cultivation, Wang Chong Yang was pounded to death by a shoe, but at least he was able to leave an intact corpse. Instead, just after leaving closed-door cultivation and finally being able to be unequalled under the heavens, I was smashed into the ground to a meat pulp by a meteor, which had suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

Alright, the words above were said by me, Ye Lang, someone who was actually able to not be ordinary and become extremely powerful, but in the end was still a very ordinary person who leaves behind his last words.

The most most most last and final words I would just like to say, are about my wish. Yep, my wish for my next life. I am used to being ordinary in this life, in my next life, I want to find myself in a family which has authority, power and money.

I want to squander money; I want to be a prodigal son!

……

Within this continent, the Soaring Sky Empire, which was located at the east, occupied the continent’s most fertile land. In the south there is Vermilion Bird Empire, and in the west there is Ai La Empire. These three empires stood like the three legs of a tripod within this continent, and the majority of the kingdoms had no other choice but to exists within the cracks of the three empires. These kingdoms’ only option was to depend on the three empires, the only say they had was in which empire they depended on.

Within the imperial capital of Soaring Sky Empire, a very strange thing happened today, or perhaps it could be said to have been a very strange phenomenon. To say it more accurately, it was a weather phenomenon and furthermore, it was an incredibly beautiful weather phenomenon, beautiful to the point that it would make one forget about everything else.

In the sky, the clouds were a golden color. The multi-colored sunlight, which was both beautiful and peculiar, gave people a very strange feeling, because the matter was, the timing where the multicolored sunlight appeared, the place where it appeared and the conditions that were required for it to appear, all made no sense.

Some specialists, which were also the scholars of this world, all fiddled with their glasses and solemnly said that it was a type of god’s sign.

Within this world, anything that mortals could not explain, was assumed to be a miracle or god’s sign. Also, the people of this world all believed in the existence of god, which was actually a great thing, as this prevented the people from wasting time on an unsolvable problem. As for whether if god really exists, who knows?

This multicolored sunlight, which was assumed to be god’s sign, not only turned the clouds into a golden color, it also turned the Soaring Sky Empire into a golden colored world, making it look like a solemn golden empire.

According to the common sense in the empire, the incident would surely be crowned as a mysterious event and would surely have its cause coupled together with god. If there were people who were to go and exaggerate it, they would surely say three words – god has descended.

Also, on this day, a little life descended upon this world, descended upon this empire which therefore was destined to be the focus of everyone’s attention.

He would be called the godchild! (Ed. MC has arrived)

Also known as the child of god, short form, godchild.

……

Within the imperial capital, within the district where influential officials lived, a family’s extremely grand and huge residence was located. Within the entire imperial capital, nay, the empire, even so much as to say within the entire continent, this ‘huge residence’ occupied the biggest space.

Majority of the kingdoms’ imperial palaces weren’t even as big or as luxurious as this ‘huge residence’. If this ‘huge residence’ was not situated within the imperial capital, in the influential official’s district, people would surely suspect that this ‘huge residence’ was an imperial palace, even though this ‘huge residence’ did not have the style a palace should have.

Because of the fact that the imperial palace of Soaring Sky Empire was similarly larger than the more general imperial palaces, more glorious and splendorous than the usual imperial palaces, this ‘huge residence’ was considered like a beginner magician meeting a great magician. Adding on to the fact that most of the influential officials’ residences in the empire were also very big, it thus made the ‘huge residence’ seem slightly less eye-catching. But of course, it was just slightly less eye-catching.

After saying this much, it should be time to introduce everyone to the name of this ‘huge residence’. This ‘huge residence’ has a very ordinary name which is not matched with it’s grand image — Ye Residence.

Because of this, in this district, no one named their grand residence with a very luxurious name. Even such a huge residence was only named Ye Residence, if someone were to name their residence with a very luxurious name, wouldn’t it be the same as courting shame on oneself?

Ye Residence, as the name implied, it is a residence which belongs to a family with the surname Ye. To be able to have a residence which was considered as huge as an imperial palace, needless to say, the Ye Family is a huge family. If not, how would they be able to have such a huge residence as their home?

Within this continent, as long as someone said that their surname is Ye, everyone would first think of the Ye Family from the Soaring Sky Empire which had been called the world’s number one legendary family for thousands of years.

Today, the Ye Family was once again welcoming a new member into the family. Why say once again? This is very simple, because within the Ye Family, practically every month, a new baby would be born within the family.

The Ye Family was truly the world’s number one family, not just in name but also in reality. Not only was the Ye Family the top in authority, power and wealth, the number of family members within the Ye Family was already in several tens of thousands. Of course, it goes without saying, this is only counting the members who are currently alive in this world, not including those members who had already passed away.

Perhaps, this could be the very reason why Ye Residence was so huge. More so, those living in the Ye Residence were only members of the main family. If one were to count in all the members of the branch families, once could reckon that even the imperial palace of Soaring Sky Empire would also not be big enough.

However, this new member had a very special aspect, which was also the very reason he had so many people’s attention. He is the grandson of the present Patriarch of the Ye Family and also the son of one of the candidates for the next generation Patriarch. Also very likely, this new member himself would be one of the candidate as the next, next generation Patriarch.

As for why although he was still not born yet, but was already a son and not a daughter? This question will shortly be answered by someone.

“Father, say, isn’t your grandson’s ostentation a bit too big? Not even born yet and a multicolored sunlight has already appeared in the whole sky, just like a god descending into the world.”