Memoirs of the Returnee
Memoirs of the Returnee - Chapter 280: What are Emotions(6)

I turned around while hitting the straw dummy.

There was no one there. Johanna’s presence had also disappeared at some point.

“…… Hmm .”

Operation name, Strange, success.

I wiped the bloodstain from my lips.

Of course, coughing up blood is not a symptom of cancer. But, after all, I needed a ‘visible’ symptom.

The situation itself was created as I had intended, but I wasn’t sure if it had worked.

Would Johanna be able to feel the emotion I intended?

Could a person ’born’ into Libra change?

“……”

After putting down the wooden sword, I quietly looked at the straw dummy. I raised my eyes to quietly scan the entirety of the garden.

A strange sentiment arose.

Could my father have ever come to this place?

After a lifetime of loyalty to Libra, treated as nothing more than a lowly knight, and ultimately sacrificed by them…

I wonder what my father's intentions were.

Why did he serve Libra?

Simply because his father, my grandfather, had served Libra before him?

Because our family was created to serve Libra?

I looked down at my hands. Calluses were embedded in every joint that gripped the sword.

These were marks that hadn’t existed before my regression.

This entire world is filled with things I hadn't experienced before the regression.

As I walk a path completely different from the past, there’s only one thought circling in my head.

I don’t want to die.

……

Johanna finally met Zia. As Zia entered her room, she raised both hands.

“l’m sorry, sister……”

“……”

Johanna quietly looked at Zia, who seemed genuinely apologetic.

However, her thoughts were elsewhere.

The coughing.

The blood droplets trickling down onto the sandy floor.

The scene that wouldn't fade from her retina.

“……Sister?”

Zia called out. Only then did Johanna look down at her sharply.

“l’m sorry……”

“Why the hell did you run away?”

“lt wasn’t running away…… I had things to do…… And I brought these documents to prove it……”

Zia’s voice became dull. It was as if she had swallowed water, barely audible.

Johanna barely managed to think about Shion Ascal.

It’s nothing serious. It must be.

Maybe he just bit his tongue.

Or he was particularly tired today.

But if it wasn't that……

“Here…… I have records of my comings and goings……”

The hospital.

Shion Ascal frequented the hospital of Yu Hains. She thought he was attending in place of Zia, but if.

If it was his own injury.

“……Please look, sister…… If you see here……”

Zia pointed to several documents and explained, but Johanna couldn’t see them. Nor could she hear her.

If she thinks about it, it’s actually normal for his body to be in bad shape. If he were in good condition, that would be more suspicious.

He had suffered too many serious gunshot wounds since the Golden Casino, and he had been overworked by Beckman.

It meant he hadn’t had a proper recovery period.

His body had become weaker and weaker…

Johanna clenched her fist. Suddenly, irritation surged, and she furrowed her brow.

“Ugh.”

Zia let out a startled yelp, but Johanna ignored her, gritting her teeth even harder.

Shion Ascal could very well be in pain. He might be suffering from some injury right now.

But, it’s not something to ponder for long.

If he coughs up blood just from swinging a sword a few times, if he’s become that weak, then he’s no longer fit to be a Chaser. His value is as good as trash.

It’s an excellent turn of events for her.

There’s no need to possess him anymore.

Since his usefulness has plummeted.

Since there’s no reason to expend her assets to own him.

After all, Shion Ascal, in his weakened state, will go on various missions…recklessly without caring for his own health…

And he’ll drop dead without anyone knowing.

“……”

Johanna bowed her head. Anger was boiling up inside her.

It was a strange feeling.

She heaved heated breaths.

—When you’re ready to acknowledge love, come find me.

The words of Yu Hains echoed in her ears.

But this isn't love. Love shouldn't feel this suffocating. The love she recognized, learned about, studied through various trivial mediums—

“l’m sorry… Sister.”

Before she knew it, Zia had knelt down. Johanna looked down at her intently.

“……I understand.”

She waved her hand dismissively.

“You…?”

“I said I understan d.”

Johanna pressed her fingers to her temples.

“ITI let it go, but don’t run away again. When I call, come quickly, that’s what I mean.”

“……Ah. Yes. I will. Thank you…”

“Leave now.”

Zia bowed her waist and scurried out.

Left alone, Johanna fell back into thought.

The image of him coughing up blood flickered before her eyes.

It was frustrating. She bit her lower lip and contorted her face, intentionally making a grotesque expression like a goblin mask.

“……Shit.”

She took the medicine prescribed by Yu Hains.

The heaviness in her chest, like a stone had settled there, didn’t improve this time. It still felt suffocating, as if something was stuck.

“Quack doctor…”

She cursed Yu Hains and turned her head to the side.

There was nothing there.

Her bedroom had no windows.

She had them removed on purpose for a peaceful sleep, and it had never bothered her until—

“I need to get a window installed.”

Today, of all days, it felt unbearably suffocating.

…….

Late at night, on a dark bench in the Libra garden.

“l’m relieved.”

I had received word from Zia.

—Yeah… she let me off easily.

“Yes. Didn’t I tell you? If you kneel and beg, Johanna will let you off.”

Johanna had quickly released Zia from the financial pressure.

Perhaps my strategy had worked to some extent.

Johanna has a habit of dealing with other matters hastily when she’s seriously focused on one thing.

That ’one thing’ is probably…

Shion Ascal.

I scratched the back of my neck.

At this point, even I’m not sure what will happen next.

But surely, Johanna will learn to feel emotions, and I will reveal to her my inevitable death.

It might not be a bad deal.

If my predetermined death can completely shake the life of the Libra lineage.

C latte r-c latte r-

In the men’s cafeteria of [Libra Station], where the sound of utensils clinked, the HR team’s Riley was pondering. More precisely, she was harboring suspicions.

About ’artificial intelligence.’

“Can this really be possible?”

A ‘product’ that thinks and converses like a human. Everett’s product was dubious, but Derek’s was even more bizarre.

Riley had tried it out briefly, and it felt so real, as if there was an actual person trapped inside.

“Can technology advance this quickly…”

To her, Derek is a villain. An enemy of [Vancheon].

The entire Libra, a great family that commits countless crimes.

Something that must not succeed-

Ding-

“……”

Riley quietly looked at her smartphone. It was a text from Dr. Killian.

[Dr.Killian: Yes. Haha. That sounds fun.]

New researcher Killian doesn’t talk about internal information, but he’s still quite friendly.

It means there’s a chance he could be used as a 'straw.'

[Then, do you want to watch that later? It’s been getting good reviews lately.]

The moment she sent a reply to Killian to go see a movie.

Thump—

Someone placed a hand on Riley’s shoulder. She shuddered.

“You’ve been looking at your phone a lot lately, haven’t you?”

It was Jean, the HR manager.

“……YOU scared me.”

Riley exhaled, trying to calm her racing heart. Jean smiled faintly.

“Must be someone you’re in touch with.”

“No, it’s just…”

“Who is it?”

Jean sat down next to her. Riley showed him her phone.

“lt’s Dr. Killian.”

“Killian… the new researcher in the artificial intelligence department?”

“Yes.”

“I hear he’s quite something.”

Jean spread strawberry jam and butter on a slice of bread.

“That picky Vito praised him, you know.”

Vito commands his own squad. All the researchers in the artificial intelligence department are part of his squad. Though calling it a squad is a bit of a stretch—it's only three people. But still.

Vito is meticulous in his selection of people and monitors them closely.

After all, more than 80% of the researchers Vito has hired and then dismissed have met with unexpected accidents.

“That’s why I’m keeping an eye on him, for surveillance and management.”

Dr. Killian has been smoothly integrated into Vito’s squad.

“Artificial intelligence is the most important thing these days, isn’t it?”

“…Hmm. It’s about time Riley started dating, I guess.”

“lt’s not like that.”

“You’ve never done this before. Have you ever gone to see a movie with someone from the company, Riley?”

“…You’ve been snooping on my texts.”

Riley closed her mouth for a moment.

Denying it might just raise unnecessary suspicion.

“…l’m planning to meet him a few times and see how it goes. I’ve heard that the salaries in Dr. Vito’s squad are in the tens of millions of Ren.”

“Planning to snag one and retire?”

“Dr. Killian’s starting salary seems like it might be ten times mine.”

“lt’s probably more. He’s got a big incentive contract. Dr. Vito, he might not look it, but he takes really good care of his squad.”

“…l'm envious.”

And she truly was envious. She might as well just stay sitting at a lab desk forever.

“Whoever it is, they’ll be better than that team leader, Bell.”

Bell Moore.

These days, he’s the eye of the storm.

“Is it still intense?”

“You can feel it in your skin. Even though we’re here at the station.”

Even Riley couldn’t have predicted Bell Moore’s ambition.

No sooner had he become a team leader than he joined hands with David, an external team leader, and started making moves as if to say, ‘I’m aiming for the director’s position.’

“lt’s going to be tough, for sure.”

“Definitely. I heard Gedley has proposed quite a brilliant scheme to Derek.”

Jean took a bite of her bread. Riley shrugged her shoulders.

“l’m curious. What it is.”

“l’m curious about you, Riley. How things will turn out with that doctor.”

Jean wore a pleased smile, and Riley had a bitter smile on her face.

It’s not for nothing, as Team Leader Jean is like this only during lunchtime. Outside of work hours, she might engage in various small talks, but as soon as it’s time to work, she suddenly becomes as cold as ice.

The separation between work and personal life is chillingly clear.

Ding-

A text message arrived just then.

“Must be the doctor?”

At Jean's words, Riley nodded.

[Ah, yes. I’m fine with it. Whenever you have time…]

“He’s asking to see a movie together.”

The next day.

Soliette and I went to see Sheron again. She was at the architectural office in the midst of construction for the new city of Bethune, Aventagher Newtown.

“You seem busy.”

Soliette and I walked around the office, taking in the scene.

“Huh? Oh, yeah.”

Sheron greeted us with a bright smile.

“lt’s all thanks to you guys- That’s why I gave you a share of the equity, right?”

“You’re here, Soliette.”

A heavy voice called out to soliette. It was Erick, who had just come out of the bathroom.

“Yes. You said you had news.”

“Yeah. There’s news. Both about Knightmare and the developers of Bethune.”

Soliette's expression turned grave in an instant.

“…Both sound like intriguing news.”

“ls the developer alive?”

I asked about the developer first. Sheron looked at me with a fox-like grin.

“I don't know if they’re alive or dead. But they’re here in Bethune. If they exist only in data form, then they’re dead, and if not, they’re alive”

With that, Sheron pulled something out.

It was a map.

“Here. I’ve found the location of the lab where they researched Knightmare.”

“?!”

Soliette quickly peered at it.

“There are six places in total. Of course, they’ve all been discarded, but there might still be traces left that weren’t completely destroyed.”

The locations of the Knightmare research labs.

I hadn’t been able to find them, so how did she?

“How did you find them?”

Sheron crossed her arms with pride.

“I had the corpse of a Knightmare, remember? I filtered out the places with traces most similar to its 'frequency’.”

“Frequency? What do you mean by that?”

Soliette asked with an excited face.

“The frequency of mana and souls. Probably 99.999% of the continent can’t read it… that kind of thing, but I can. It’s my Spectrum.”

“’Our’, you mean.”

Erick’s words followed. He gave soliette a languid look, while Sheron glanced at him with eyes full of disgust.

“ldiot… Anyway. Like he said, both of us can do it, but we specialize in different areas. I’m souls, he’s magic.”

“Uh. Is it okay to just tell us about your Spectrum like this?”

Soliette asked innocently.

“lt doesn’t matter. Even if you know, we don’t have weaknesses like that.”

I nodded.

As long as they don’t explain what the frequency specifically is.

“…SO, you.”

Suddenly, Sheron gave me a strange smile. She playfully flicked my sleeve with her finger.

Soliette's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“Shion Ascal. Your frequency is interesting.”

“…What about it?”

I brushed Sheron’s fingers off. She then abruptly grabbed my wrist.

And with her eyes widened, she stared at me and said,

“Your frequency, there are two of them overlap pi ng.”