The Letters of Horace Walpole, Earl of Orford
Chapter 104 : I had just sent my letter to the [email protected]'s office the other day, when I

I had just sent my letter to the [email protected]'s office the other day, when I received yours: it would have prevented my reproving you for not mentioning the quarrel between the Pope and the Venetians; and I should have had time to tell you that Dr. Mead's bankruptcy is contradicted. I don't love to send you falsities, so I tell you this is contradicted, though it is by no means clear that he is not undone-he is scarce worth making an article in two letters.

I don't wonder that Marquis Acciaudi's villa did not answer to you; by what I saw in Tuscany, and by the prints, their villas are strangely out of taste, and laboured by their unnatural regularity and art to destroy the romanticness of the situations. I wish you could see the villas and seats here!

the country wears a new face; every body is improving their places, and as they don't fortify, their plantations with intrenchments of walls and high hedges, one has the benefit of them even in pa.s.sing by. The dispersed buildings, I mean temples, bridges, etc. are generally Gothic or Chinese, and give a whimsical air of novelty that is very pleasing. You would like a drawing-room in the latter style that I fancied and have been executing at Mr. Rigby's, in Ess.e.x. it has large and Very fine Indian landscapes, with a black fret round them, and round the whole entablature of the room, and all the ground or hanging is of pink paper. While I was there, we had eight of the hottest days that ever were felt; they say, some degrees beyond the hottest in the East Indies, and that the Thames was more so than the hot well at Bristol. The guards died )n their posts at Versailles: and here a captain Halyburton, brother-in-law of lord Moncton, went mad with the excess

Your brother Gal. will, I suppose, be soon making improvements like the rest of the world: he has bought an estate in Kent, called Bocton Malherbe, famous enough for having belonged to two men who, in my opinion, have very little t.i.tle to fame, Sir Harry Wotton and my lord Chesterfield. I must have the pleasure of being the first to tell you that your pedigree is finished at last; a most magnificent performance, and that will make a pompous figure in a future great hall at Bocton Malherbe when your great nephews or great-grandchildren shall be Earls, etc. My cousin Lord Conway is made Earl of Hertford, as a branch of the somersets: Sir Edward Seymour gave his approbation handsomely. He has not yet got the dukedom himself, as there is started up a Dr. Seymour who claims it, but will be able to make nothing out.

Dr. Middleton is dead--not killed by Mr. Ashton--but of a decay that came Upon him at once. The Bishop of London(162) will perhaps make a jubilee(163) for his death, and then We shall draw off some Of your crowds of travellers. Tacitus Gordon(164) died the same day; he married the widow of Trenchard(165) (with whom he wrote Cato's letters,) at the same time that Dr. Middleton married her companion. The Bishop of Durham (Chandler),(166) another great writer of controversy, is dead too, immensely rich; he is succeeded by Butler(167) of Bristol, a metaphysic author, much patronized by the late Queen; she never could make my father read his book, and -which she Certainly did not understand herself: he told her his religion was fixed, and that he did not want to change Or improve it. A report is come of the death of the King of Portugal, and of the young Pretender; but that I don't believe.

I have been in town for a day or two, and heard no conversation but about M'Lean, a fas.h.i.+onable highwayman, who is just taken, and who robbed me among others; as Lord Eglinton, Sir Thomas Robinson, Of Vienna, Mrs. Talbot, etc. He took an odd booty from the Scotch Earl, a blunderbuss, which lies very formidably upon the justice's table. He was taken by selling a laced waistcoat to a p.a.w.nbroker, who happened to carry it to the very man who had just sold the lace. His history is very Particular, for he confesses every thing, and is so little of a hero that he cries and begs, and I believe, if Lord Eglinton had been in any luck, might have been robbed of his own blunderbuss. His father was an Irish Dean; his brother is a Calvinist minister in great esteem at the Hague. He himself was a grocer, but losing a wife that he loved extremely about two years ago, and by whom he has one little girl, he quitted his business with two hundred pounds in his pocket, which he soon spent, and then took to the road with only one companion, Plunket, a journeyman apothecary, my other friend, whom he has impeached, but who is not taken. M'Lean had a lodging in St. James's Street, over against White's, and another at Chelsea; Plunket one in Jermyn Street; and their faces are as known about St. James's as any gentleman's who lives in that quarter, and who perhaps goes upon the road too. M'Lean had a quarrel at Putney bowling-green two months ago with an officer, whom he challenged for disputing his rank; but the captain declined, till M'Lean should produce a certificate of his n.o.bility, which he has just received. If he had escaped a month longer, he might have heard of Mr. Chute's genealogic expertness, and come hither to the college of Arms for a certificate. There was a wardrobe of clothes, three-and-twenty purses, and the celebrated blunderbuss found at his lodgings, besides a famous kept mistress. As I conclude he will suffer, and wish him no ill, I don't care to have his idea, and am almost single in not having been to see him. Lord Mountford, at the head of half White's, went the first day - his aunt was crying over him: as soon as they were withdrawn, she said to him, knowing they were of White's, "My dear, what did the lords say to you? have you ever been concerned with any of them?"-Was not that admirable? what a favourable idea people must have of White's!--and what if White's should not deserve a much better! But the chief personages who have been to comfort and weep over this fallen hero are Lady Caroline Petersham and Miss Ashe: I call them Polly and Lucy, and asked them if he did not sing

Thus I stand like the Turk with his doxies around."(168)

Another celebrated Polly has been arrested for thirty pounds, even old Cuzzoni.(169) The Prince Of Wales bailed her--who will do as much for him?

I am much obliged to you for your intended civilities to my liking Madame Capello; but as I never liked any thing of her, but her prettiness, for she is an idiot, I beg you will dispense with them on my account: I should even be against your renewing your garden a.s.semblies. you would be too good to pardon the impertinence of the Florentines, and would very likely expose yourself to more: besides, the absurdities which English travelling boys are capable of, and likely to act or conceive, always gave me apprehensions of your meeting with disagreeable scenes-and then there is another animal still more absurd than Florentine men or English boys, and that is, travelling governors, who are mischievous into the bargain, and whose pride is always hurt because they are sure of its never being indulged: they will not learn the world, because they are sent to teach it, and as they come forth more ignorant of it than their pupils, take care to return with more prejudices, and as much care to instil all theirs into their pupils. Don't a.s.semble them!

Since I began my letter, the King of Portugal's death is contradicted: for the future, I will be as circ.u.mspect as one of your Tuscan residents was, who being here in Oliver's time, wrote to his court, "Some say the Protector is dead; others that he is not: for my part, I believe neither one nor t'other."

Will u send me some excellent melon seeds? I have a neighbour who s.h.i.+nes in fruit, and have promised to get him some: Zatte'e, I think he says, is a particular sort. I don't know the best season for sending them, but you do, and will oblige me by some of the best sorts.

I suppose you know all that execrable history that occasioned an insurrection lately at Paris, where they were taking up young children to try to people one of their colonies, in which grown persons could never live. You have seen too, to be sure, in the papers the bustle that has been all this winter about purloining some of our manufacturers to Spain. I was told to-day that the informations, if they had had rope given them, would have reached to General Wall.(170) Can you wonder? Why should Spain prefer a native of England(171) to her own subjects, but because he could and would do us more hurt than a Spaniard could? a grandee is a more harmless animal by far than an Irish Papist. We stifled this evidence: we are in their power; We forgot at the last peace to renew the most material treaty! Adieu! You would not forget a material treaty.

(162) Thomas Sherlock, translated from the see of Salisbury in 1748. He died in 1761.-D.

(163) This alludes to the supposed want of orthodoxy shown by Dr. Middleton in some of his theological writings.-D.

(164) Thomas Gordon, the translator of Sall.u.s.t and Tacitus; and also a political writer of his day of considerable notoriety.

His death happening at the same time as that of Dr. Middleton, Lord Bolingbroke said to Dr. Heberden, "then there is the best writer in England gone, and the worst."-E.

(165) John Trenchard, son of Sir John Trenchard, secretary of state to King William the Third, was born in 1669. He wrote various political pamphlets of a democratic cast. In 1720 he published, in conjunction with Thomas Gordon, @ a series of political letters, under the signature of "Cato." They appeared at first in the " London Journal," and afterwards in the "British Journal," two newspapers of the day. They obtained great celebrity, as well from the merit of their composition, as from -the boldness of the principles they advocated. These consisted in an uncompromising hostility to the Government and to the Church. Trenchard was member of parliament for Taunton, and died in 1723.-D.

(166) Edward Chandler, a learned prelate, and author of various polemical works. He had been raised to the see of Durham in 1730, as it was then said, by simoniacal means.-D.

(167) Joseph Butler, the learned and able author of "The a.n.a.logy of Religion, Natural and Revealed, to the Const.i.tution and Cause of Nature." This is the "Book," here alluded to, of which Queen Caroline was so fond that she made the fortune of its author. Bishop Butler died much regretted in 1752.-D.

(168) The last song in The Beggar's Opera.

(169) A celebrated Italian singer.-D.

(170) The Spanish amba.s.sador to the court of London.-E.

(171) General Richard Wall was of Irish parents, but I believe not born in these dominions. [He came to England in 1747, on a secret mission from Ferdinand, and continued as amba.s.sador at the British court till 1754, when he was recalled, to fill the high office of minister for foreign affairs.]

76 Letter 28 To Sir Horace Mann.

Arlington Street, Sept. 1, 1750.

Here, my dear child, I have two letters of yours to answer. I will go answer them; and then, if I have any thing to tell you, I will. I accept very thankfully all the civilities you showed to Madame Capello on my account, but don't accept her on my account: I don't know who has told you that I liked her, but you may believe me, I never did. For the Damers,(172)they have lived much in the same world that I do. He is moderately sensible, immoderately proud, self-sufficient, and whimsical.

She is very sensible, has even humour, if the excessive reserve and silence that she draws from both father and mother -would let her, I may almost say, ever show it. You say, "What people do we send you!" I reply, "What people we do not send you!"

Those that travel are reasonable, compared with those who can never prevail on themselves to stir beyond the atmosphere of their own whims. I am convinced that the Opinions I give you about several people must appear very misanthropic; but yet, you see, are generally forced to own at last that I did not speak from prejudice - but I won't triumph, since you own that I was in the right about the Barrets. I was a little peevish with 'you in your last, when I came to the paragraph where you begin to say "I have made use of all the Interest I have with Mr.

Pelham."(173) I concluded you was proceeding to say, "to procure your arrears;" instead of that, it was to make him serve Mr. Milbank--will you never have done obliging people?

do begin to think of being obliged. I dare say Mr. Milbank is a very pretty sort of man, very sensible of your attentions, and who will never forget them-till he is past the Giogo.(174) You recommend him to me: to show you that I have not naturally an inclination to hate people, I am determined not to be acquainted with him, that I may not hate him for forgetting you. Mr. Pelham will be a little surprised at not finding his sister(175) at Hanover. That was all a pretence of his wise relations here, who grew uneasy that he was happy in a way that they had not laid out for him: Mrs. Temple is in Suss.e.x. They looked upon the pleasure of an amour of choice as a transient affair; so, to Make his satisfaction permanent, they propose to marry him, and to a girl(176) he scarce ever saw!

I suppose you have heard all the exorbitant demands of the heralds for your pedigree! I have seen one this morning, infinitely richer and better done, which will not cost more; it is for my Lady Pomfret. You would be entertained with all her imagination in it. She and my lord both descend from Edward the First, by his two Queens. The pedigree is painted in a book: instead of a vulgar genealogical tree, she has devised a pine-apple plant, sprouting out of a basket, on which is King Edward's head; on the other leaves are all the intermediate arms; the fruit is sliced open, and discovers the busts of the Earl and Countess, from whence issue their issue! I have had the old Vere pedigree lately In my hands, which derives that house from Lucius Verus; but I am now grown to bear no descent but my Lord Chesterfield's, who has placed among the portraits of his ancestors two old heads, inscribed Adam de Stanhope and Eve de Stanhope; the ridicule is admirable. Old Peter Leneve, the herald, who thought ridicule consisted in not being of an old family, made this epitaph, and it was a good one, for young Craggs, whose father had been a footman, "Here lies the last who died before the first of his family!" Pray mind, how I string old stories together to-day. This old Craggs,(177) who was angry with Arthur More, who had worn a 78 livery too, and who was getting into a coach with him, turned about and said, "Why, Arthur, I am always going to get up behind; are not you!" I told this story the other day to George Selwyn, whose pa.s.sion is to see coffins and corpses, and executions: he replied, "that Arthur More had had his coffin chained to that of his mistress."--"Lord!" said I, "how do you know!"--"Why, I saw them the other day in a vault at St.

Giles's." He was walking this week in Westminster Abbey with Lord Abergavenny, and met the man who shows the tombs, "Oh!

your servant, Mr. Selwyn; I expected to have seen you here the other day, when the old Duke of Richmond's body was taken up."

Shall I tell you another story of George Selwyn before I tap the chapter of Richmond, which you see opens here very apropos?

With this strange and dismal turn, he has infinite fun and humour in him. He went lately on a party of pleasure to see places with Lord Abergavenny and a pretty Mrs. Frere, who love one another a little. At Cornbury there are portraits of all the royalists and regicides, and ill.u.s.trious headless.(178) Mrs. Frere ran about, looked at nothing, let him look at nothing, screamed about Indian paper, and hurried over all the rest. George grew peevish, called her back, told her it was monstrous. when he had come so far with her, to let him see nothing; "And you are a fool, you don't know what you missed in the other room."--"Why, what?"--"Why, my Lord Holland'S(179) picture."--"Well! what is my Lord Holland to me?"--"Why, do you know," said he, ,that my Lord Holland's body lies in the same vault in Kensington church with my Lord Abergavenny's mother?"

Lord! she 'was so obliged, and thanked him a thousand times.

The Duke of Richmond is dead, vastly lamented: the d.u.c.h.ess is left in great circ.u.mstances. Lord Albemarle, Lord Lincoln, the Duke of Marlborough, Duke of Leeds, and the Duke of Rutland, are talked of for master of the horse. The first is likeliest to succeed; the Pelhams wish most to have the last: you know he is Lady Catherine's brother, and at present attached to the Prince. His son Lord Granby's match, which is at last to be finished to-morrow, has been a mighty topic of conversation lately. The bride is one of the great heiresses of old proud Somerset. Lord Winchilsea, who is her uncle, and who has married the other sister very loosely to his own relation, Lord Guernsey, has tied up Lord Granby so rigorously that the Duke of Rutland has endeavoured to break the match.

She has four thousand pounds a year: he is said to have the same in present, but not to touch hers. He is in debt ten thousand pounds. She was to give him ten, which now Lord Winchilsea refuses. Upon the strength of her fortune, Lord Granby proposed to treat her with presents of twelve thousand pounds; but desired her to buy them. She, who never saw nor knew the value of ten s.h.i.+llings while her father lived, and has had no time to learn it, bespoke away so roundly, that for one article of the plate she ordered ten sauceboats: besides this, she and her sister have squandered seven thousand pounds apiece in all kind of baubles and frippery; so her four thousand pounds a-year is to be set apart for two years to pay her debts. Don't you like this English management? two of the greatest fortunes meeting and setting out with poverty and want! Sir Thomas Bootle, the Prince's chancellor, who is one of the guardians, wanted to have her tradesmen's bills taxed; but in the mean time he has wanted to marry her d.u.c.h.ess-mother: his love-letter has been copied and dispersed every where. To give you a sufficient instance of his absurdity, the first time he went with the Prince of Wales to Cliefden, he made a nightgown, cap, and slippers of gold brocade, in which he came down to breakfast the next morning.

My friend M'Lean is still the fas.h.i.+on: have not I reason to call him my friend? He says, if the pistol had shot me, he had another for himself. Can I do less than say I will be hanged if he is? They have made a print, a very dull one, of what I think I said to Lady Caroline Petersham about him,

,Thus I stand like the Turk with his doxies around!"

You have seen in the papers a Hanoverian duel, but may be you don't know that it was an affair of jealousy. Swiegel, the slain, was here two years ago, and paid his court so a.s.siduously to the Countess(180) that it was intimated to him to return; and the summer we went thither afterwards, he was advised to stay at his villa. Since that, he has grown more discreet and a favourite. Freychappel came hither lately, was proclaimed a beauty by the monarch, and to return the compliment, made a tender of all his charms where Swiegel had.

the latter recollected his own pa.s.sion Jostled Freychappel, fought, and was killed. I am glad he never heard what poor Gibberne was intended for.

They have put in the papers a good story made on White's: a man dropped down dead at the door, was carried in: the club immediately made bets whether he was dead or not, and when they were going to bleed him, the wagerers for his death interposed, and said it would affect the fairness of the bet.

Mr. Whithed has been so unlucky as to have a large part of his seat,(181) which he had just repaired, burnt down: it is a great disappointment to me, too, who was going thither Gothicizing. I want an act of parliament to make master-builders liable to pay for any damage occasioned by fire before their workmen have quitted it. Adieu! This I call a very gossiping letter; I wish you don't call it worse.

(172) Joseph Damer, afterwards created Lord Milton in Ireland, married Lady Caroline Sackville, daughter of Lionel, Duke of Dorset.

(173) Thomas Pelham, of Stanmer; a young gentleman who travelled with Mr. Milbank.

(174) The highest part of the Apennine between Florence and Bologna.

(175) Mrs. Temple, widow of Lord Palmerston's son: she was afterwards married to Lord Abergavenny.

(176) Frances, second daughter of Henry Pelham, chancellor of the exchequer. Mr. Thomas Pelham married Miss Frankland.

(177) The two Craggs, father and son, were successively members of the administration during the reign of George the First, in the post of secretary of state. The father died in 1718, and the son in 1720; and Pope consecrated a beautiful epitaph to the memory of the latter. They are both supposed to have been deeply implicated in the iniquities of the South Sea bubble.-D.

(178) This was the celebrated collection of portraits, princ.i.p.ally by Vandyck, which Lord Dartmouth, in his notes on Burnet, distinctly accuses the Lord Chancellor Clarendon of having obtained by rapacious and corrupt means; that is, as bribes from the "old rebels," who had plundered them from the houses of the royalists, and who, at the Restoration, found it necessary to make fair weather with the ruling powers. The extensive and miscellaneous nature of the collection (now divided between Bothwell Castle, in Scotland, and The Grove, in Hertfords.h.i.+re) very strongly confirms this accusation. An additional confirmation is to be found in a letter of Walpole, addressed to Richard Bentley, Esq. and dated Sept. 1753, in which he says, "At Burford I saw the house of Mr. Lenthal, the descendant of the Speaker. The front is good; and a chapel, connected by two or three arches, which let the garden appear through, has a pretty effect; but the inside of the mansion is bad, and ill-furnished. Except a famous picture of Sir Thomas More's family, the portraits are rubbish, though celebrated. I am told that the Speaker, who really had a fine collection, made his peace by presenting them to Cornbury, where they were well known, till the Duke of Marlborough bought that seat."-D.

(179) Henry Rich, Earl of Holland, the favourite of Queen Henrietta Maria.-D.

180) Lady Yarmouth.

(181) Southwick, in Hamps.h.i.+re.

80 Letter 29 To George Montagu, Esq.

Strawberry Hill, Sept. 10, 1750.