The Letters of Horace Walpole, Earl of Orford
Chapter 106 : 86 Letter 33 To Sir Horace Mann.Arlington Street, Dec. 19, 1750.Well! you may be easy;

86 Letter 33 To Sir Horace Mann.

Arlington Street, Dec. 19, 1750.

Well! you may be easy; your friends have been to see me at last, but it has so happened that we have never once met, nor have I even seen their persons. They live at Newcastle-house; and though I give you my word my politics are exceedingly neutral, I happen to be often at the court of Bedford. The Interministerium still subsists; no place is filled up but the Lieutenancy of Ireland; the Duke of Dorset was too impatient to wait. Lord Harrington remains a melancholy sacrifice to the famous general Resignation,(199) which he led up, and of which he is the only victim. Overtures have been made to Lord Chesterfield to be president; but he has declined it; for he says he cannot hear causes, as he is grown deaf. I don't think the proposal was imprudent, for if they should happen, as they have now and then happened, to want to get rid of him again, they might without consequence; that is, I suppose n.o.body would follow him out, any more than they did when he resigned voluntarily. For these two days every body has expected to see Lord Granville president, and his friend the Duke of Bolton, colonel of the Blues; two nominations that would not be very agreeable, nor probably calculated to be so to the Duke, who favours the Bedford faction. His old governor Mr. Poyntz(200) is just dead, ruined in his circ.u.mstances by a devout brother, whom he trusted, and by a simple wife, who had a devotion of marrying, dozens of her poor cousins at his expense: you know she was the Fair Circa.s.sian.(201) Mr. Poyntz was called a very great man, but few knew any thing of his talents, for he was timorous to childishness. The Duke has done greatly for his family, and secured his places for his children, and sends his two sons abroad, allowing them eight hundred pounds a year.

The little Marquis of Rockingham has drowned himself in claret; and old Lord Dartmouth is dead of ague.(202) When Lord Bolingbroke's last work was published, on the State of Parties at the late King's accession, Lord Dartmouth said, he supposed Lord Bolingbroke believed every body was dead who had lived at that period.

There has been a droll cause in Westminster Hall: a man laid another a wager that he produced a person who should weigh as much again as the Duke. When they had betted, they recollected not knowing how to desire the Duke to step into a scale. They agreed to establish his weight at twenty stone, which, however, is supposed to be two more than he weighs. One Bright was then produced, who is since dead, and who actually weighed forty-two stone and a half.)203) As soon as he was dead, the person who had lost objected that he had been weighed in his clothes, and thought it was impossible to suppose that his clothes could weigh above two stone, they went to law. There were the Duke's twenty stone bawled over a thousand times,-but the righteous law decided against the man who had won!

Poor Lord Lempster(204) is more Cerberus(205) than ever; (you remember his bon-mot that proved such a blunder;) he has lost twelve thousand pounds at hazard to an ensign of the Guards-but what will you think of the folly of a young Sir Ralph Gore,(206) who took it into his head that he would not be waited on by drawers in brown frocks and blue ap.r.o.ns, and has literally given all the waiters at the King's Arms rich embroideries and laced clothes! The town is still empty: the parties for the two playhouses are the only parties that retain any spirit. I will tell you one or two bon-mots of Quin the actor. Barry would have had him play the ghost in Hamlet, a part much beneath the dignity of Quin, who would give no other answer but, "I won't catch cold behind." I don't know whether you remember that the ghost is always ridiculously dressed, with a morsel of armour before, and only a black waistcoat and breech behind. The other is an old one, but admirable. When Lord Tweedale was nominal secretary of State for Scotland, Mitch.e.l.l,(207) his secretary, was supping With Quin, who wanted him to stay another bottle; but he pleaded my lord's business. "Then," said Quin, "only stay till I have told you a story. A vessel was becalmed: the master called to one of the cabin-boys at the top of the mast, 'Jack, what are you doing?' 'Nothing, Sir.' He called to another boy, a little below the first, 'Will, what are you doing?' 'Helping Jack, sir.'" Adieu!

(199) In the year 1746.

)200) Stephen Poyntz, formerly British minister in Sweden, after being tutor to Lord Townshend's sons.

(201) Anna maria Mordaunt, maid of honour to Queen Caroline. A young gentleman at Oxford wrote the "Fair Circa.s.sian" on her, and died for love of her. [The "Fair Circa.s.sian," a dramatic performance which appeared in 1720, Has been generally attributed to the Rev. Dr. Samuel Croxall, author of "Fables of Esop and others, translated into English, with instructive applications," who died in 1752, at an advanced age.]

(202) William, first Earl of Dartmouth, secretary of state to Queen Anne. He died on the 15th of December, in his seventy-ninth year.-E.

(203) Edward bright died at Malden in Ess.e.x, on the 10th of November, at the age of thirty. He was an active man till a year or two before that event; when his corpulency so overpowered his strength, that his life was a burthen to him.-E.

(204) Eldest son of Thomas Fermor, Earl of Pomfret, whom, in 1753, he succeeded in the t.i.tle.

(205) When he was on his travels, and run much in debt, his parents paid his debts: Some more came out afterwards; he wrote to his mother, that he could only compare himself to Cerberus, who, when one head was cut off, had another spring up in its room.

(206) In 1747, when only a captain, Sir Ralph distinguished himself at the battle Of Laffeldt. In 1764, he was created Baron Gore, and in 1771, Earl of Ross: in 1788, he was appointed commander-in-chief in Ireland, and died in 1802.-E.

(207) Andrew Mitch.e.l.l, afterwards commissary at Antwerp. [And, for many years, envoy from England to the court of Prussia. In 1765 he was created a knight of the bath, and died at Berlin in 1771. His valuable collection of letters, forming sixty-eight volumes, was purchased in 1810, by the trustees of the British Museum.-E.

88 Letter 34 To Sir Horace Mann.

Strawberry Hill, Dec. 22, 1750.

As I am idling away some Christmas days here, I begin a letter to you, that perhaps will not set out till next year. Any changes in the ministry will certainly be postponed till that date: it is even believed that no alteration will be made till after the session; they will get the money raised -,And the new treaty ratified in Parliament before they break and part. The German ministers arc more alarmed, and seem to apprehend themselves in as tottering a situation as some of the English: not that any secretary of state is jealous of them--their Countess(208) is on the wane. The housekeeper(209) at Windsor, an old monster that Verrio painted for one of the Furies, is dead. The revenue is large, and has been largely solicited.

Two days ago, at the drawing-room, the gallant Orondates strode up to Miss Chudleigh, and told her he was glad to have an opportunity of obeying her commands, that he appointed her mother housekeeper at Windsor, and hoped she would not think a kiss too great a reward--against all precedent he kissed her in the circle. He has had a hankering these two years. Her life, which is now of thirty years' standing, has been a little historic.(210) Why should not experience and a charming face on her side, and near seventy years on his, produce a t.i.tle?

Madame de Mirepoix is returned: she gives a lamentable account of another old mistress,(211) her mother. She has not seen her since the Princess went to Florence, which she it seems has left with great regret; with greater than her beauty, whose ruins she has not discovered: but with few teeth, few hairs, sore eyes, and wrinkles, goes bare-necked and crowned with jewels! Madame Mirepoix told me a reply of Lord Cornbury, that pleased me extremely. They have revived at Paris old Fontenelle's opera of Peleus and Thetis: he complained of being dragged upon the stage again for one of his juvenile performances, and said he could not bear to be hissed now: Lord Cornbury immediately replied to him out of the very opera,

"Jupiter en courroux '

Ne peut rien contre vous, Vous 'etes immortel."

Our old laureat has been dying: when he thought himself at the extremity, he wrote this lively, good-natured letter to the Duke of Grafton:-

""May it please your Grace: "I know no nearer way of repaying your favours for these last twenty years than by recommending the bearer, Mr. Henry Jones, for the vacant laurel: Lord Chesterfield will tell you more of him. I don't know the day of my death, but while I live, I shall not cease to be, your Grace's, etc.

"Colley Cibber." '

I asked my Lord Chesterfield who this Jones(212) is; he told me a better poet would not take the post, and a worse ought not to have it. There are two new bon-mots of his lords.h.i.+p much repeated, better than his ordinary. He says, he would not be president, because he would not be between two fires;(213) and that"the two brothers are like Arbuthnot's Lindamira and Indamora;(214) the latter was an able, tractable gentlewoman, but her sister was always quarrelling and kicking and as they grew together, there was no parting them.

You will think my letters are absolute jest-and-story books, unless you will be so good as to dignify them with the t.i.tle of Walpoliana. Under that hope, I will tell you a very odd new story. A citizen had advertised a reward for the discovery of a person who had stolen sixty guineas out of his scrutoire. He received a message from a condemned criminal in Newgate, with the offer of revealing the thief. Being a cautious grave personage, he took two friends along with him. The convict told him that he was the robber; and when he doubted, the fellow began with these circ.u.mstances; You came home such a night, and put the money into your bureau: I was Under your bed: you undressed, and then went to the foot of the garret stairs, and cried, 'Mary, come to bed to me-'" "Hold, hold,"

said the citizen, "I am convinced." "Nay," said the fellow, "you sh.e.l.l hear all, for our intrigue saved your life. Mary replied, 'If any body wants me, they may come up to me:' you went: I robbed your bureau in the mean time, but should have cut your throat, if you had gone into your bed instead of Mary S."

The conclusion of my letter will be a more serious story, but very proper for the Walpoliana. I have given you sc.r.a.ps of Ashton's history. To perfect his ingrat.i.tude, he has struck up an intimacy with my second brother, and done his utmost to make a new quarrel between us, on the merit of having broke with me on the affair of Dr. Middleton. I don't know whether I ever told you that my brother hated Middleton, who was ill with a Dr. Thirlby,(215) a creature of his. He carried this and his jealousy of me so far, that once when Lord Mountford brought Middleton for one night only to Houghton my brother wrote my father a most outrageous letter, telling him that he knew I had fetched Middleton to Houghton to write my father's life, and how much more capable Thirlby was of this task. Can one help admiring in these instances the dignity of human nature! Poor Mrs. Middleton is alarmed with a scheme that I think she very justly suspects as a plot of the clergy to get at and suppress her husband's papers. He died in a lawsuit with a builder, who has since got a monition from the Commons for her to produce all the Doctor's effects and papers. The whole debt is but eight hundred pounds. She offered ten thousand pounds security, and the fellow will not take it. Is there clergy in it, or no? Adieu!

(208) Lady Yarmouth. The new amour did not proceed.

(209) Mrs. Marriot.

(210) She was, though maid of honour, privately married to Augustus, second son of the late Lord Hervey, by whom she had two children; but disagreeing, the match was not owned. She afterwards, still maid of honour, lived very publicly with the Duke of Kingston, and at last married him during Mr. Hervey's life.

(211) Princess Craon, formerly mistress of Leopold, Duke of Lorraine.

(212) I think he was an Irish bricklayer; he wrote an "Earl of Ess.e.x." ["Having a natural inclination for the Muses," says his biographer, "he pursued his devotions to them even during the labours of his more mechanical avocations, and composing a line of brick and a line of verse alternately, his wall and poems rose up in growth together." His tragedy of the "Earl of Ess.e.x" came out at Covent Garden in 1753, and met with considerable success. He died in great want, in 1770.-E.]

(213) Meaning President of the Council. The two fires were the Pelham brothers; between whom all private intercourse was at this time suspended.-E.

(214) See the Memoirs of Martinus Scriblerus in Swift's Works; Indamora alludes to Mr. Pelham, Lindamira to the Duke of Newcastle.

(215) For a notice of the Doctor, see ant'e.-E.

89 Letter 35 To Sir Horace Mann.

Arlington Street, Feb. 9, 1751.

You will wonder that I, who am pretty punctual, even when I have little to say, should have been so silent at the beginning of a session: I will tell you some reasons why; what I had to tell you was not finished; I wished to give you an entire account: besides, we have had so vigorous an attendance, that with that, and the fatigue, it was impossible to write. Before the Parliament met, there was a dead tranquillity, and no symptoms of party spirit. What is more extraordinary, though the Opposition set out vehemently the very first day, there has appeared ten times greater spirit on the court side, a Whig vehemence that has rushed on heartily. I have been much entertained-what should I have been, if I had lived in the times of the Exclusion-bill, and the end of queen Anne's reign, when votes and debates really tended to something! Now they tend but to the alteration of a dozen places, perhaps, more or less-but come, I'll tell you, and you shall judge for yourself.

The morning the Houses met, there was universally dispersed, by the penny post, and by being dropped into the areas of houses, a paper called Const.i.tutional Queries, a little equivocal, for it is not clear whether they were levelled at the Family, or by Part of the Family at the Duke.(216) The Address was warmly opposed, and occasioned a remarkable speech of Pitt, in recantation of his former orations on the Spanish, war, and in panegyric on the Duke of Newcastle, wit whom e is pus.h.i.+ng himself, and by whom he is pushed at all rates, in opposition to Lord Sandwich and the Bedfords. Two or three days afterwards there were motions in both Houses to have the Queries publicly burnt. That too occasioned a debate with us, and a fine speech of Lord Egmont, artfully condemning the paper, though a little suspected of it, and yet supporting some of the reasonings in it. There was no division on the resolution; but two days afterwards we had a very extraordinary and unforeseen one. Mr. Pelham had determined to have 'but 8,000 seamen this year, instead of 10,000. Pitt and his cousins, without any notice given, declared with the Opposition for the greater number. The key to this you will find in Pit'S whole behaviour; whenever he wanted new advancement, he used to go off He has openly met with great discouragement now; though he and we know Mr. Pelham so -well, that it Will not be surprising if, though baffled, he still carries his point of secretary of state. However, the old corps resented this violently, and rushed up their old anger: Mr. Pelham was inclined to give way, but Lord Hartington, at the head of the young Whigs, divided the House, and Pitt had the mortification of being followed into the minority by only fifteen persons. The King has been highly pleased with this event; and has never named the Pitts and Grenvilles to the Duke of Newcastle, but to abuse them, and to commend the spirit of the young people. It has not weakened the Bedford faction, who have got more strength by the clumsy politics of another set of their enemies. There has all the summer been a Westminster pet.i.tion in agitation, driven on by the independent electors, headed by Lord Elibank, Murray his brother, and one or two gentlemen.

Sir John Cotton, and Cooke the member for Middles.e.x, discouraged it all they could, and even stifled the first drawn, which was absolutely treason. However, Cooke at last presented one from the inhabitants, and Lord Egmont another from Sir George Vandeput; and Cooke even made a strong invective against the High-bailiff; on which Lord Trentham produced and read a letter written by Cooke to the High-bailiff, when he was in their interest, and stuffed with flattery to him. Lord Trentham's friends then called in the High-bailiff, who accused some persons of hindering and threatening him on the scrutiny, and, after some contention, named Crowle, counsel for Sir George Vandeput, Gibson, an upholsterer and independent, and Mr. Murray.(217) These three were ordered to attend on the following Thursday to defend themselves. Before that day came, we had the report on the eight thousand seamen, when Pitt and his a.s.sociates made speeches of lamentation on their disagreement with Pelham, whom they flattered inordinately. This ended in a burlesque quarrel between Pitt and Hampden,(218) a buffoon who hates the cousinhood, and thinks his name should ent.i.tle him to Pitt's office. We had a very long day on Crowle's defence, who had called the power of the House brutum fulmen: he was very submissive, and was dismissed with a reprimand on his knees.

Lord Egmont was so severely handled by Fox, that he has not recovered his spirits since. He used to cry up Fox against Mr.

Pelham, but since the former has seemed rather attached to the Duke and the Duke of Bedford, the party affect to heap incense on Pelham and Pitt--and it is returned.

The day that Murray came to the bar he behaved with great confidence, but at last desired counsel, which was granted: in the mean time we sent Gibson to Newgate. Last Wednesday was the day of trial: the accusation was plentifully proved against Murray, and it was voted to send him close prisoner to Newgate.

His party still struggling against the term close, the Whigs grew provoked, and resolved he should receive his sentence on his knees at the bar. To this he refused to submit. The Speaker stormed, and the House and its honour grew outrageous at the dilemma they were got into, and indeed out of which we are not got yet. If he gets the better, he will indeed be a meritorious martyr for the cause: en attendant, he is strictly shut up in Newgate.(219)

By these anecdotes you will be able to judge a little of the news you mention in your last, of January 29th, and will perceive that our ministerial vacancies and successions are not likely to be determined soon. Niccolini's account of the aversion to Lord Sandwich is well grounded, though as to inflexible resentments, there cannot easily be any such thing, where parties and factions are so fluctuating as in this country. I was to have dined the other day at Madame de Mirepoix's with my Lord Bolingbroke, but he was ill. She said, she had repented asking me, as she did not know if I should like it. , Oh! Madam, I have gone through too many of those things to make any objection to the only one that remains!"

I grieve much for the return of pains in your head and breast; I flattered myself that you had quite mastered them.

I have seen your Pelham and Milbank, not much, but I like the latter; I have some notion, from thinking that he resembles you in his manner. The other seems very good-humoured, but he is nothing but complexion. Dame is returned; he looks ill; but I like him better than I used to do, for he commends you. My Lord Pomfret is made ranger of the parks, and by consequence my Lady is queen of the Duck Island.(220) Our greatest miracle is Lady Mary Wortley's son,(221) whose adventures have made so much noise- his parts are not proportionate, but his expense is incredible. His father scarce allows him any thing: yet he plays, dresses, diamonds himself, even to distinct shoe-buckles for a frock, and has more snuff-boxes than would suffice a Chinese idol with an hundred noses. But the most curious part of his dress, which he has brought from Paris, is an iron wig; you literally would not know it from hair--I believe it is on this account that the Royal Society have just chosen him of their body. This may surprise you: what I am now going to tell you will not, for you have only known her follies - the d.u.c.h.ess of Queensbury told Lady Di. Egerton,(222) a pretty daughter of the d.u.c.h.ess of Bridgewater, that she was going to make a ball for her: she did, but did not invite her: the girl was mortified, and Mr. Lyttelton, her father-in-law, sent the mad Grace a hint of it. She sent back this card-. "The advertis.e.m.e.nt came to hand; it was very pretty and very ingenious; but every thing that is pretty and ingenious does not always succeed; the d.u.c.h.ess of Q. piques herself on her house being unlike Socrates's; his was small and held all his friends; hers is large, but will not hold half of hers: postponed, but not forgot: unalterable." Adieu!

(217) The Hon. Alexander Murray, fourth son of Alexander, fourth Lord Elibank. This family was for the most part Jacobite in its principles.-D.

(218) John Hampden, Esq., the last descendant in the file line of the celebrated Hampden. On his death in 1754, he left his estates to the Hon. Robert Trevor, son of Lord Trevor, who was descended from Ruth, the daughter of the Patriot.-D.

(219) mr Murray's health appearing to be in danger, the House, upon the report of his physician, offered to remove him from Newgate into the custody of the sergeant-at-arms: but he had the resolution to reject the offer, and to continue in Newgate till the end of the session; when he made a kind of triumphal procession to his own house, attended by the sheriffs of London, a large train of coaches, and the declamations of the populace.-E.

(220) Duck Island was a spot in St. James's Park, near the Bird-cage Walk; and was so called, because Charles the Second had established a decoy of ducks upon it. It was destroyed when the improvements and alterations took place in this park, about the year 1770.-D.