The Wit and Humor of America
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Chapter 79 : BY CAROLYN WELLS Once on a Time two Business Men were Each Confronted with what seemed
BY CAROLYN WELLS
Once on a Time two Business Men were Each Confronted with what seemed to be a Fine Chance to Make Money.
One Man, being of a Cautious and Prudent Nature, said: "I will not Take Hold of this Matter until I have Carefully Examined it in All its Aspects and Inquired into All its Details."
While he was thus Occupied in a thorough Investigation he Lost his Chance of becoming a Partner in the Project, and as It proved to be a Booming Success, he was Much Chagrined.
The Other Man, when he saw a Golden Opportunity Looming Up Before him, Embraced it at once, without a Preliminary Question or Doubt.
But alas! after he had Invested all his Fortune in it, the Scheme proved to be Worthless, and he Lost all his Money.
MORALS:
This Fable teaches that you should Strike While the Iron is Hot, and Look Before you Leap.
THE RETORT
BY GEORGE P. MORRIS
Old Nick, who taught the village school, Wedded a maid of homespun habit; He was stubborn as a mule, She was playful as a rabbit.
Poor Jane had scarce become a wife, Before her husband sought to make her The pink of country polished life, And prim and formal as a Quaker.
One day the tutor went abroad, And simple Jenny sadly missed him; When he returned, behind her lord She slyly stole, and fondly kissed him.
The husband's anger arose--and red And white his face alternate grew.
"Less freedom, ma'am!"--Jane sighed and said, "Oh dear! I didn't know 'twas you!"
_A Book about Indians, Animals, and the Woods_
Kuloskap, the Master
AND OTHER ALGONKIN LEGENDS AND POEMS
By Charles G.o.dfrey Leland, F.R.S.L., _and_ John Dyneley Prince, Ph.D.
In the first four cantos are told the legends of the Indian G.o.d, Kuloskap, narrating how he created the Indians' world, cared for the interests of his children, dealt with the animal kingdom, and punished the sorcerers. Following these cantos will be found the witchcraft lore, lyrics, and miscellany. The stories take the reader into the heart of nature. In the innermost recesses of the forest he follows the strange doings of wizards, goblins, and witches, and revels in such exquisite lyrics as those that tell of "The Scarlet Tanager and the Leaf," "The Story of Nipon the Summer," "Lox, the Indian Devil," "The Song of the Stars," and others.
_Dan Beard_ says: "It is the American Indian's 'King Arthur's Round Table,' 'Robin Hood,' and 'The Arabian Nights.'"
_Ernest Thompson-Seton_ says: "... Priceless, unique, irreplaceable."
_San Francis...o...b..lletin_: "It is a valuable contribution to the folk-lore of the world, and of intense interest."
_The Independent_: "... Dainty in its woodsy freshness ... has the same beauty as the Norse myths."
_12mo, Cloth, 359 pp., Ornamental Cover, Profusely Ill.u.s.trated with Half-tones by F. Berkeley Smith, Ten Birchbark Tracings by Mr. Leland after Indian Designs, and a Frontispiece in Color by Edwin Willard Deming. $2.00, post-paid._
FUNK & WAGNALLS COMPANY, Publishers NEW YORK and LONDON
_A Charming Book_
My Musical Memories
By REV. H.R. HAWEIS, A.M., _Author of "American Humorists," Etc., Etc._
A volume of personal reminiscences, dealing with early Life and Recollections, Hearing Music, Old Violins, Paganini, Liszt, Wagner, "Parsifal," and other kindred subjects, in a manner both artistic and pleasing, which shows the author to be a person of great critical ability in the realm of music. He is an enthusiast, for music hath charms, so hath its memories; but his enthusiasm never carries him beyond the bounds of good sense and fair judgment.
"Of all Mr. Haweis' contributions to musical literature none is richer or more readable than 'My Musical Memories'; in short, it is a treasury of musical intelligence such as only a critical taste and an almost infallible instinct could have gathered."--_The Musical Herald, Boston._
"Those who know the charm and clearness of Mr. Haweis' style in descriptive musical essays will need no commendation of these 'Memories,' which are not only vivid but critical."--_The Public Ledger, Phila._
