Shakespeare's First Folio
Chapter 119 : Curat.Nath. Truely M[aster]. Holofernes, the epythithes are sweetly varied like a scho

Curat.Nath. Truely M[aster]. Holofernes, the epythithes are sweetly varied like a scholler at the least: but sir I a.s.sure ye, it was a Bucke of the first head

Hol. Sir Nathaniel, haud credo

Dul. 'Twas not a haud credo, 'twas a p.r.i.c.ket

Hol. Most barbarous intimation: yet a kinde of insinuation, as it were in via, in way of explication facere: as it were replication, or rather ostentare, to show as it were his inclination after his vndressed, vnpolished, vneducated, vnpruned, vntrained, or rather vnlettered, or ratherest vnconfirmed fas.h.i.+on, to insert againe my haud credo for a Deare

Dul. I said the Deare was not a haud credo, 'twas a p.r.i.c.ket

Hol. Twice sod simplicitie, bis coctus, O thou monster Ignorance, how deformed doost thou looke

Nath. Sir hee hath neuer fed of the dainties that are bred in a booke.

He hath not eate paper as it were: He hath not drunke inke.

His intellect is not replenished, hee is onely an animall, onely sensible in the duller parts: and such barren plants are set before vs, that we thankfull should be: which we taste and feeling, are for those parts that doe fructifie in vs more then he.

For as it would ill become me to be vaine, indiscreet, or a foole; So were there a patch set on Learning, to see him in a Schoole.

But omne bene say I, being of an old Fathers minde, Many can brooke the weather, that loue not the winde

Dul. You two are book-men: Can you tell by your wit, What was a month old at Cains birth, that's not fiue weekes old as yet?

Hol. Dictisima goodman Dull, dictisima goodman Dull

Dul. What is dictima?

Nath. A t.i.tle to Phebe, to Luna, to the Moone

Hol. The Moone was a month old when Adam was no more.

And wrought not to fiue-weekes when he came to fiuescore.

Th' allusion holds in the Exchange

Dul. 'Tis true indeede, the Collusion holds in the Exchange

Hol. G.o.d comfort thy capacity, I say th' allusion holds in the Exchange

Dul. And I say the polusion holds in the Exchange: for the Moone is neuer but a month old: and I say beside that, 'twas a p.r.i.c.ket that the Princesse kill'd

Hol. Sir Nathaniel, will you heare an extemporall Epytaph on the death of the Deare, and to humour the ignorant call'd the Deare, the Princesse kill'd a p.r.i.c.ket

Nath. Perge, good M[aster]. Holofernes, perge, so it shall please you to abrogate scurilitie

Hol. I will something affect a letter, for it argues facilitie.

The prayfull Princesse pearst and p.r.i.c.kt a prettie pleasing p.r.i.c.ket, Some say a Sore, but not a sore, till now made sore with shooting.

The Dogges did yell, put ell to Sore, then Sorrell iumps from thicket: Or p.r.i.c.ket-sore, or else Sorell, the people fall a hooting.

If Sore be sore, than ell to Sore, makes fiftie sores O sorell: Of one sore I an hundred make by adding but one more L

Nath. A rare talent

Dul. If a talent be a claw, looke how he clawes him with a talent

Nath. This is a gift that I haue simple: simple, a foolish extrauagant spirit, full of formes, figures, shapes, obiects, Ideas, apprehensions, motions, reuolutions. These are begot in the ventricle of memorie, nourisht in the wombe of primater, and deliuered vpon the mellowing of occasion: but the gift is good in those in whom it is acute, and I am thankfull for it

Hol. Sir, I praise the Lord for you, and so may my paris.h.i.+oners, for their Sonnes are well tutor'd by you, and their Daughters profit very greatly vnder you: you are a good member of the common-wealth

Nath. Me hercle, If their Sonnes be ingenuous, they shall want no instruction: If their Daughters be capable, I will put it to them. But Vir sapis qui pauca loquitur, a soule Feminine saluteth vs.

Enter Iaquenetta and the Clowne.

Iaqu. G.o.d giue you good morrow M[aster]. Person

Nath. Master Person, quasi Person? And if one should be perst, Which is the one?

Clo. Marry M[aster]. Schoolemaster, hee that is likest to a hogshead

Nath. Of persing a Hogshead, a good l.u.s.ter of conceit in a turph of Earth, Fire enough for a Flint, Pearle enough for a Swine: 'tis prettie, it is well

Iaqu. Good Master Parson be so good as reade mee this Letter, it was giuen mee by Costard, and sent mee from Don Armatho: I beseech you read it

Nath. Facile precor gellida, quando pecas omnia sub vmbra ruminat, and so forth. Ah good old Mantuan, I may speake of thee as the traueiler doth of Venice, vemchie, vencha, que non te vnde, que non te perreche. Old Mantuan, old Mantuan. Who vnderstandeth thee not, vt re sol la mi fa: Vnder pardon sir, What are the contents? or rather as Horrace sayes in his, What my soule verses

Hol. I sir, and very learned

Nath. Let me heare a staffe, a stanze, a verse, Lege domine.

If Loue make me forsworne, how shall I sweare to loue?

Ah neuer faith could hold, if not to beautie vowed.

Though to my selfe forsworn, to thee Ile faithfull proue.

Those thoughts to mee were Okes, to thee like Osiers bowed.

Studie his byas leaues, and makes his booke thine eyes.

Where all those pleasures liue, that Art would comprehend.

If knowledge be the marke, to know thee shall suffice.

Well learned is that tongue, that well can thee co[m]mend.

All ignorant that soule, that sees thee without wonder.

Which is to me some praise, that I thy parts admire; Thy eye Ioues lightning beares, thy voyce his dreadfull thunder.

Which not to anger bent, is musique, and sweete fire.

Celestiall as thou art, Oh pardon loue this wrong, That sings heauens praise, with such an earthly tongue

Ped. You finde not the apostraphas, and so misse the accent. Let me superuise the cangenet

Nath. Here are onely numbers ratified, but for the elegancy, facility, & golden cadence of poesie caret: Ouiddius Naso was the man. And why in deed Naso, but for smelling out the odoriferous flowers of fancy? the ierkes of inuention imitarie is nothing: So doth the Hound his master, the Ape his keeper, the tyred Horse his rider: But Damosella virgin, Was this directed to you?

Iaq. I sir from one mounsier Berowne, one of the strange Queenes Lords

Nath. I will ouerglance the superscript.

To the snow-white hand of the most beautious Lady Rosaline.

I will looke againe on the intellect of the Letter, for the nomination of the partie written to the person written vnto.

Your Ladis.h.i.+ps in all desired imployment, Berowne

Ped. Sir Holofernes, this Berowne is one of the Votaries with the King, and here he hath framed a Letter to a sequent of the stranger Queens: which accidentally, or by the way of progression, hath miscarried. Trip and goe my sweete, deliuer this Paper into the hand of the King, it may concerne much: stay not thy complement, I forgiue thy duetie, adue

Maid. Good Costard go with me: Sir G.o.d saue your life

Cost. Haue with thee my girle.

Enter.

Hol. Sir you haue done this in the feare of G.o.d very religiously: and as a certaine Father saith Ped. Sir tell not me of the Father, I do feare colourable colours. But to returne to the Verses, Did they please you sir Nathaniel?

Nath. Marueilous well for the pen