A Select Collection of Old English Plays
Chapter 3 : EVAD. Y' are uncivil.NUR. What aged female, for I must confess I am worn threadbare

EVAD. Y' are uncivil.

NUR. What aged female, for I must confess I am worn threadbare-- Would not be turn'd, and live a marriage life, To purchase heaven?

EVAD. Heaven----

NUR. Yes, my dear madam, heaven; whither, My most sweet lady, but to heaven? h.e.l.l's a Tailor's warehouse; he has the keys, and sits In triumph cross-legg'd o'er the mouth: It is no place of horror, There's no flames made blue with brimstone; But the bravest silks, so fas.h.i.+onable-- O, I do long to wear such properties!

EVAD. Leave your talk, One knocks: go, see.

[_Knocks within._

NUR. O, 'tis my love! I come.

[_Exit._

EVAD. A tailor; fie! blush, my too tardy soul, And on my brow place a becoming scorn, Whose fatal sight may kill his mounting hopes.

Were he but one that, when 'twas said he's born, Had been born n.o.ble, high, Equal in blood to that our house boasts great; I'd fly into his arms with as much speed As an air-cutting arrow to the stake.

But, O, he comes! my fort.i.tude is fled.

_Enter_ NURSE _and_ GIOVANNO _with a gown_.

GIO. Yonder she is, and walks, yet in sense strong enough to maintain argument; she's under my cloak; for the best part of a lady, as this age goes, is her clothes; in what reckoning ought we tailors to be esteemed then, that are the master-workmen to correct nature! You shall have a lady, in a dialogue with some gallant touching his suit, the better part of man, so suck the breath that names the skilful tailor, as if it nourished her.

Another Donna fly from the close embracements of her lord, to be all-over-measured by her tailor. One will be sick, forsooth, and bid her maid deny her to this don, that earl, the other marquis, nay, to a duke; yet let her tailor lace and unlace her gown, so round the skirts to fit her to the fas.h.i.+on. Here's one has in my sight made many a n.o.ble don to hang the head, dukes and marquises, three in a morning, break their fasts on her denials; yet I, her tailor, blessed be the kindness of my loving stars, am ushered; she smiles, and says I have stayed too long, and then finds fault with some slight st.i.tch, that eyelet-hole's too close, then must I use my bodkin, 'twill never please else; all will not do. I must take it home for no cause but to bring it her again next morning. We tailors are the men, spite o' the proverb, ladies cannot live without. It is we That please them best in their commodity: There's magic in our habits, tailors can Prevail 'bove him honour styles best of man.

EVAD. Bid him draw near.

NUR. Come hither, love, sweet chuck: My lady calls.

GIO. What means this woman? sure, she loves me too, Tailors shall speed, had they no tongues to woo: Women would sue to them.

[_Aside._]

EVAD. What, have you done it now?

GIO. Madam, your gown by my industry Is purg'd of errors.

EVAD. Lord, what a neat methodical way you have To vent your phrases; pray, when did you commence?

GIO. What mean you, madam?

EVAD. Doctor, I mean; you speak so physical.

NUR. Nay, madam, 'tis a youth, I praise my stars For their kind influence, a woman may be proud on, And I am.

O, 'tis a youth in print, a new Adonis.

And I could wish, although my gla.s.s tells me I'm wondrous fair, I were a Venus for him.

GIO. O lady, you are more fairer by far.

NUR. La you there, madam!

GIO. Where art thou, man? art thou transform'd, Or art thou grown so base, that This ridiculous witch should think I love her?

[_Aside._]

EVAD. Leave us.

NUR. I go.

Duck, I'll be here anon; I will, dove.

[_Exit._

GIO. At your best leisure.

Protect me, manhood, lest my glutted sense, Feeding with such an eager appet.i.te on Your rare beauty, [and] breaking the sluices, Burst into a flood of pa.s.sionate tears.

I must, I will enjoy her, though a Destroying clap from Jove's artillery were the reward: And yet, dull-daring sir, by your favour, no, He must be more than savage can attempt To injure so much spotless innocence: Pardon, great powers, the thought of such offence.

[_Aside._]

EVAD. When Sebastiano, clad in conquering steel, And in a phrase able to kill, or from a coward's heart Banish a thought of fear, woo'd me, [He] won not so much on my captive soul As this youth's silence does.

Help me, some power, out of this tangling maze, I shall be lost else.

[_Aside._

GIO. Fear, to the breast of women; build Thy throne on their soft hearts; mine must not be Thy slave.--[_Aside._] Your pleasure, madam?

EVAD. I have a question must be directly answer'd; No excuse, but from thy heart a truth.

GIO. Command me, madam; were it a secret, On whose hinges hung the cas.e.m.e.nts of my life, Yet your command shall be obey'd to the least Scruple.

EVAD. I take your word: My aged nurse tells me you love her: Answer; is't a truth?

GIO. She's jealous, I'll try; As oracle.

EVAD. Ha!

GIO. 'Tis so, I'll further; I love her, madam, With as rich a flame as anchorites Do saints they offer prayers unto.

I hug her memory as I would embrace The breath of Jove when it p.r.o.nounced me Happy, or prophet that should speak my After-life great, even with adoration deified.

EVAD. My life, like to a bubble i' th' air, Dissolv'd by some uncharitable wind, Denies my body warmth: your breath Has made me nothing.

[_She faints._

GIO. Rather let me lose all external being.

Madam, good madam.

EVAD. You say you love her.

GIO. Madam, I do.

Can any love the beauty of a stone, Set by some curious artist in a ring, But he must attribute some [virtue] to The file that adds unto the l.u.s.tre?