Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi
Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi - Chapter 92

Chapter 92

Ch 92 -- No More Than 3 Silver Coins Each

"I've gotta make an offering to the Goddesses soon or they're gonna start bothering me again . " I suddenly realised . It was evening, I'd finished eating, Fer was resting in the inn's beast stables and Sui was sleeping peacefully in her bag, dreaming away . Better get it over with . I'd just opened Net Super to start selecting items for the offering when a Voice sounded in my head .

"Hoy, other-world-guy-kun, can you hear me? Send us offerings and be quick about it . " That didn't sound like Deplorable-sama--

"Is this Agni-sama speaking to me?"

"Yup . " She sounded impatient but maybe that's how she always sounded .

"I am just about to get you all some offerings," I explained . "Please wait a moment . "

"Right then, and send me two cans of beer like you were drinking earlier . "

"Hold on, am I supposed to send you alcohol? I thought I was told alcohol was a no-no last time I made an offering . . . "

"This is Ninril . " Ah, deplorable goddess-sama, right on cue . "This one time it's all right, as a special case . But only two cans, mind . "

A special case? I suppose if it's like that then it should be fine but-- .

"Oh, and while you're about it, well, you remember that it was me, Ninril, who was the Goddess who first gave you her blessing so, well, because of that I want you to increase the amount of sweets you send us . Dorayaki especially, no limit on those, you know . Oh, but keep this confidential and don't let the others know I told you to do it . "

Ninril-sama, what are you asking for this time, and why are you being so sneaky about it? Everyone should get a fair share, that was what you all agreed last time--

"Me, me . Earth Goddess Kishar here . Hey, other-world-guy-kun, it was pretty interesting seeing the stuff you're selling down there . That soap, shampoo and conditioner and wow! those hair wraps too . I want you to send some of that to me as well~ . Pleeeease . " the new voice hesitated for a moment . "Oh, and don't tell the other Goddesses about this . "

. . . Kishar-sama, you too? I'm disappointed in you . I thought that Ninril-sama was the only deplorable Goddess . . .

" . . . it's me, Rusalka . Food looks delicious . I also want to eat food . Give me food . This is a secret . "

Ruka-sama . . . Are all the Goddesses of this world the same? Are they all deplorable-samas? They're telling me to send them things and to keep it a secret from the others but--

"Ahem- . Goddess-samas, I hate to break it to you but you're all demanding special items and wanting me to keep it secret from the others . You do realise that I'll be sending the offerings all in one go and you'll all see everything I sent when it arrives?"

There was a long pause .

"Ha-, you got a point" .

"Oops, that's true . "

" . . . Eheheh . . . "

"Hey you lot, what were you trying to pull?" Agni-sama sounded mad .

"No, no, Agni, it's just . . . "

"Oh, ummm, you see, it's like, you know, ahhh . . . "

" . . . . . . . . . . . . "

"You mean that you all requested other things you wanted?" Agni-sama sounded like she was about to blow her top . The Goddess of Fire, did that include volcanoes in her job description? "You sneaky-- . Right then, If it's like that then I get what I want too . "

"Does that mean alcohol? I've told you before why that's a bad idea . "

"That's right, absolutely no alcohol, we agreed you know . "

" . . . Booze, no good"

"Humph . They asked for what they wanted, why am I in the wrong for doing the same?" I distinctly heard the sound of knuckles cracking . "Right then, other-world-guy-kun, I want alcohol . Beer, premium beer, two cans and right away . "

"I still say it's a bad idea . "

"That's right, you know . "" . . . Not good"

The voices of the selfish Goddess-samas resounded in my aching head . I figured I had to step in or they'd go on arguing like this for eternity with me stuck in the middle listening to them bicker . I shuddered, no way . I tuned them out temporarily while I came up with a plan . Snacks up to three hundred yen? Yeah, that might work, after all they're acting like elementary schoolkids on a class outing . . .

"Hey hey, everyone quiet down . " I interrupted . "Last time I made an offering, you all shared what I sent you, right? "

"No, that's . . . "

"But, I want something to make me more beautiful, not just sweets . . . "

"Sweets are good, but food . . . "

"Beer and snacks are better than confectionery . . . "

Huh, everyone wants what they want and they don't want to share . Elementary schoolkids? Nope, kindergardeners . I sighed .

"Okay, I understand . Each of you now wants me to offer you different things, right?" Silence, which I took to be agreement . "It's impossible for me to offer up infinite amounts of anything, yes?" Silence again . "So if you tell me what you want and it only costs up to three silver coins each then I will offer it to you . "

The Goddesses would argue forever, literally if I didn't lay down some rules about the offerings . Setting a budget and spending the same amount for each of them was one way to make it seem fair .

"Three silver coins, that's too little you know . I tell you it should be more than that . "

"Oh, only three silver coins, not enough . . . "

"I want a little bit more . . . "

" . . . (nods vigorously)"

"Nope, three silver coins worth of weekly offerings each, I think that's enough . " I had to be firm . They seemed to be willing to accept the idea of a budget which was something to be thankful for but I was making a big concession, agreeing to spend as much as three silver coins each on their offerings as it was . Time to finish it .

"If you don't like that idea then I'll return your blessings and we can call it quits . . . " I bluffed . "Wait, wait, waitwaitwait . You can give us offerings worth three silver coins . Three silver coins are enough, please!"

"Well, okay . Three silver coins are enough . We can accept that . "

"Oh, ah . Thumbs up, three silver coins of offerings a week are enough . "

" . . . Good with only 3 silver coins . "

They all agreed quickly and I breathed a (silent) sigh of relief . For some reason the omnipotent Goddesses who could read my thoughts and see my every action had fallen for my bluff . Could I actually return the blessings after they'd been bestowed anyway?

"Right then, I'll take your requests, each in turn please . If you all ask at once I won't know who wants what . "

"Well, I gave you my blessing before the others did, and I'm also the oldest Goddess here so me first . " Ninril-sama, are you really the Goddess-sempai? Surely not . . .

"I desire sweets . Dorayaki, as much as possible . " Well, that's simple, just like Ninril-sama . Uh, not simple, ummm consistent . If she keeps eating such sweet things she'll soon be overweight but that's her choice . I bought ten pieces of dorayaki from the Net Super along with assorted cakes, pudding and chocolate and then I added a sweet cola drink to the shopping cart so that the order came to 3 silver coins in total . One down .

"Who is next?" I asked .

"If you go by age, it's me, Kishar . What I want is the soap, shampoo, conditioner and hair masks you recently started selling . "

"Oh, that's no problem but there are various kinds of shampoo and conditioner depending on your hair type and its condition . You understand?"

"Huh? Are there truly so many kinds?" Kishar-sama seemed amazed .

"Yes, there are dozens of different treatments to deal with all sorts of hair problems . If you don't mind, can you tell me about the current state of your hair and I can perhaps choose what's most suitable for you, Kishar-sama . "

"Really? Well, right now my hair is very dry and frizzy . It's a pain making it presentable every morning . "

It sounded like her hair was lacking moisture and with split ends . What she needed to deal with that was a non-silicone oil shampoo, a moisturising conditioner to match and a premium hair wrap treatment which cost nine copper coins each . I added in three pieces of rose-scented soap for the remaining 3 copper coins and that was 3 silvers exactly . Two down .

"Right, who's next?""Oh, that's me, Agni here . I would like all sorts of booze but I've agreed to limit myself to two cans of premium beer, oh and some snacks to go with them . The rest of the offering, make it sweets . "

Agni-sama wants premium beer, snacks and sweets . The packaged nibbles I could get from the Net Super to go with beer, things like dried fish weren't very appetizing but . . . yep, I still had a good quantity of hot potato fries that I made earlier in my Item Box . They'd go nicely with a premium beer . How much would they cost though? Hmmm, as a prepared dish I priced the fries at two copper coins each . Another copper coin would buy a fried mincemeat cake . . . ah, the dish wouldn't come back from the offering, can I get paper plates? I placed my order in the Net Super and finally I had two cans of premium beer, a paper plate of potato fries and three fried mincemeat cakes on another paper plate . I made up the rest of the offering with cakes and pastries like I bought for Ninril-sama . That should be OK . Three down .

"Next is me . Sweets and food . "

The last Goddess was Ruka-sama, who wanted sweets and food . I assumed she wanted to eat the sort of things she had seen Fer, Sui and me eating . So, fried cutlets and fried mincemeat cakes and, quick check, yes I still had Cheese In chicken katsu and Cheese In hamburger in my Item Box ready to go . I bought 3 onigiri and 6 bread rolls from the Net Super to go with them, each costing one copper coin . The Cheese In chicken katsu was a bit big, so I priced it at 2 coppers each and the hamburger just one copper each . Everything laid out on paper plates came to one silver and 5 copper coins . The rest would buy sweets, cakes, pastries etc . like Ninril-sama and Agni-sama's offerings .

I prepared four separate cardboard-box altars and put the offerings for each Goddess on them .

"Right then, I'll get started . First of all is Ninril-sama's preferred sweets . Please accept my offering . " It wasn't very prayer-like but deplorable-goddess-sama's offering disappeared promptly anyway . I faced the next cardboard-box altar .

"My offering to Kishar-sama, your desired soap and the shampoo treatment I recommended . This is more luxurious than the shampoo and conditioner I sold to Lambert-san so please give it a try . " Kishar-sama's offerings disappeared in a similar manner to Ninril-sama's . I turned to the third altar and bowed my head .

"Agni-sama, I offer to you beer and snacks and sweets . The snacks are food I made myself . I think they go well with beer and I hope you enjoy them . Please eat them with my best wishes . " Agni-sama's offering vanished .

"Finally, I make my offering of food and sweets to Ruka-sama . " I bowed to the last altar . "I also made some of this food, the bread rolls and the onigiri make good side dishes . " Ruka-sama's offering were gone when I looked up again .

"Well, please decide what you want next time and be sure it will be properly within the budget . " I reminded the Goddesses before they started in on my offerings .

"I understand, you know . " Mmmble . . .

"Understood, yeah . " Sniff . . .

"Gotcha . " Psssshhh . . .

" . . . " (chewing vigorously)

I wasn't sure the Goddesses were really listening to me since they had other things on their mind right then but I just hoped next time I had to make an offering would be a bit easier . Three of them were noisy and annoying like teenagers but the last one, Ruka-sama was quiet and reserved . I suppose since she's the youngest that's understandable but the other three were truly deplorable . Good grief .

As I was considering the evening's events the oracle ended and the Goddesses' voices were abruptly cut off .

"Fuuuuh~ . Finally finished" . I stretched . I'm tired . I'm going to bed . G'night .